What are some funny jobs?

[mikeraw]

I love to use the funny job routine but I have no imagination... I always say I'm a foot model...

HER: "Really?"

ME: "Yeah, I have very pretty feet... wanna see them?"

HER: (invariably laughing)

ME: "You can't touch them, though... it's in the contract."

It's a great icebreaker, catches them off guard, and in a city full of engineers, it gives me something uncommon to say before I admit to being an engineer...

What are some other funny jobs and routines? A friend of mine swears by "professional dog walker" but the immediate mental picture of that is pretty gay. And another one that I got from a guru interview was to say that you're a parachute stuffer, which is pretty lame, IMO.

Suggestions?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I like vagueness better than outright silliness.

I make people happy.
I solve problems.
I build things.

Engineers are hung up on being dorky math guys. It does not have to seem that way with women if you focus on the end product of your work, and tell her that you design or make that product. If you are a civil engineer, tell her you build bridges. If you are an aerospace engineer, tell her you design airplanes. It is not hard to structure a vague half-truth to describe your occupation so that it lends itself to more conversation. Also, it displays confidence and security in that the people who really have those traits don't have to brag about having an upper-middle class job.

 

[Magma]

Cig lighter repair
Pro rodeo clown
soap box derby racer

Yeah, BB is right. When chicks ask me what I do, I say I'm in communications/telecom. Maybe one day I'll use that master's degree in teaching. But not now. It's easier than trying to explain exactly what I do.

Anyway, it's vague and adds mystery and intrigue. God it bugs the sh1t out of me when one of my AFC friends gets asked this question and they tell the chick EXACTLY what they do.

E.g., my buddy is an AFC architect. When women ask him what he does (gold digging b1tches), he's like, "I am an architect." Booooorrrring. Even though you can see the dollar signs flashing in those b1tches eyes, it's boring.

BB hit the nail exactly on the head. Instead, my buddy should be saying something like, "I build dreams, but my real passion is rodeo clowning. I'm hitting up the Bud Light Pro Tour next fall."

My all-time favorite response to "What do you do?":

"Why? Are you a gold digger?"