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What are red flags in a woman?

will123

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I have met a woman that is extroverted but VERY flirty with men. I am wondering whether this is a red flag?

Also, could anyone let me know what red flags to look out for. Thanks
 
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Top Flag: She’s been Alpha Widowed

1). Flirty with men
2). Owns a large dog or multiple dogs
3). Too good in bed/high amount of previous sexual encounters
4). Tattoos
5). Toxic friends/always going on weekend trips
6). Busy schedule
7). Plays any games
8). Past age 25 and still lives with parents….In the USA
9). Bubbly/friendly personality
10). Indecisive opportunists, can’t make a decision by herself
11). Disney mentality with dating. If she brings up terms such as vibe, romantic connections, chemistry, spark….NEXT

NOW TO END IT: IF SHE HAS BEEN SINGLE FOR A YEAR OR MORE/1 month flings do not count
 
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SW15

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2). Owns a large dog or multiple dogs
I agree with this. I'm not very compatible with dog owners or pet owners in general. However, since Millennials are the most pet crazed generation in the history of the planet, it's quite difficult to avoid pet owners entirely. I am already allergic to cats. It's much more challenging to have a relationship with a woman when you can't ever go to her home. It's possible to date a woman who owns a pet that you're allergic to, but only casually. Few women will openly agree to an LTR, even open minded ones, when you can't ever go to their home. I've had to be more lenient on the dog thing due to my cat allergies. I do strongly prefer petless women.

@EyeBRollin has been right that pet owning women are somewhat similar to single moms.

I do not own a pet. As a result, I'm more compatible with petless women.

One of the ways around dating women with pets is to date really young women. Women who are 18-21 are less likely to have pets. Pets happen more as women age. However, the window on this is quite narrow. For women who go to college, it's semi common for them to get their first pet in the first year after college graduation. That makes them 22-23, and that pet won't die until she's 35-40. If they are 35-40 and still single, they might even get their 2nd generation pet. I've met single women in their mid 30s who got a pet in their early 20s, it died, and then they got a new pet within 6 months after the first pet died. So annoying.

4). Tattoos
Like pets, tattoos are common with Millennial women. Good luck getting both a petless and tattooless Millennial woman and it doesn't seem like Gen Z is going to be much better with either pets or tattoos. She might be super young and hasn't had time to get either of those yet.

Women are more attractive with no tattoos. Few small tattoos are acceptable but less than ideal. Too many tattoos is not good.

5). Toxic friends/always going on weekend trips
6). Busy schedule
Yes and yes. High travel women are always trouble. Before the pandemic, there were many women who traveled a fair amount of business. Fortunately, business travel has dropped off.

There are some women who have such busy schedules that it will inhibit their abilities to form new relationships with anyone. I've had dates (all arrranged on swipe apps) where I met the woman and wondered how she'd ever form a healthy LTR with anyone based on her current time committments. I didn't go on second dates with those women. Those women needed to cut down on their extracurricular committments and/or take a less demanding job.

Careerism is a red flag you didn't mention. Feminism too. However, feminism is difficult to define. The typical woman born in the 1980s or 1990s is more radically feminist than the feminists of the 1960s, and these 1980s-1990s born women usually don't even identify with feminism.,
 

Barrister

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I have met a woman that is extroverted but VERY flirty with men. I am wondering whether this is a red flag?

Also, could anyone let me know what red flags to look out for. Thanks
Very extroverted is not a red flag by itself. Being very flirtatious with men in general is. This is typically a woman who has Cluster B tendencies and relishes a lot of validation. She isn't going to get enough validation from just you in a relationship and this will be a constant battle.

On the other hand, these types are very fun in short bursts. For just social events/sex they are perfect. My problem personally is I am highly attracted to this type of woman despite knowing the pitfalls. I had a long LTR with a HB 8.5 who had these tendencies and it was probably the most exciting relationship of my life when it first began - but it became hell. You will constantly be setting and reaffirming boundaries and she will constantly be breaking them. Tread carefully.
 
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Careerism is a red flag you didn't mention. Feminism too. However, feminism is difficult to define. The typical woman born in the 1980s or 1990s is more radically feminist than the feminists of the 1960s, and these 1980s-1990s born women usually don't even identify with feminism.,
I'm black so most of the women I have dated have been careerist/feminists. If a careerist woman likes you/is seriously looking for a relationship, then she will make time for you. Don't let the ones juggling you as a lower priority waste your time. Feminism? I am more of a Bill Maher Democrat, so I guess I am considered a Republican to them lol. TBH, I rarely talk about politics with girls until I have stuck my weenie in them and then I just bring it up mainly to poke fun at them lol. If she goes on her rant about some feminist bs I just say that's cute lol.
 

will123

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Top Flag: She’s been Alpha Widowed

1). Flirty with men
2). Owns a large dog or multiple dogs
3). Too good in bed/high amount of previous sexual encounters
4). Tattoos
5). Toxic friends/always going on weekend trips
6). Busy schedule
7). Plays any games
8). Past age 25 and still lives with parents….In the USA
9). Bubbly/friendly personality
10). Indecisive opportunists, can’t make a decision by herself
11). Disney mentality with dating. If she brings up terms such as vibe, romantic connections, chemistry, spark….NEXT

NOW TO END IT: IF SHE HAS BEEN SINGLE FOR A YEAR OR MORE/1 month flings do not count
1. Tick. She is very flirty with men - so I have been told by 2 independent people. However, goes from flirty to shy/introverted around me.
5. Not too sure. She is 31 but her close close friend is around 50. They holiday together.
9. Is friendly with other people. Has no problem talking to other guys. Talks to a few women, but at least same amount of males, maybe bit more. Opposite with me - she goes quite, can't hold eye contact. If yours eyes meet, she looks down.

Possible additional red flags:

1. Single mum.
2. 31 - turning 32 soon.
3. Single for around a few years. Last guy dumped her when she fell pregnant. He believed she was cheating, Sources that know her (but neutral) says she was not.
4. Extension from 3 above. She MAY have cheated if guy suspected and dumped her. After she got dumped, she started "seeing:" a Spanish guy and then Jamaican guy. Source that knows her says she has now become very cautious when dating or getting into relationships, hence about 3 years since last relationship. Sometimes gets friends to do detective work to ascertain whether next guy is a player.
 

will123

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I agree with this. I'm not very compatible with dog owners or pet owners in general. However, since Millennials are the most pet crazed generation in the history of the planet, it's quite difficult to avoid pet owners entirely. I am already allergic to cats. It's much more challenging to have a relationship with a woman when you can't ever go to her home. It's possible to date a woman who owns a pet that you're allergic to, but only casually. Few women will openly agree to an LTR, even open minded ones, when you can't ever go to their home. I've had to be more lenient on the dog thing due to my cat allergies. I do strongly prefer petless women.

@EyeBRollin has been right that pet owning women are somewhat similar to single moms.

I do not own a pet. As a result, I'm more compatible with petless women.

One of the ways around dating women with pets is to date really young women. Women who are 18-21 are less likely to have pets. Pets happen more as women age. However, the window on this is quite narrow. For women who go to college, it's semi common for them to get their first pet in the first year after college graduation. That makes them 22-23, and that pet won't die until she's 35-40. If they are 35-40 and still single, they might even get their 2nd generation pet. I've met single women in their mid 30s who got a pet in their early 20s, it died, and then they got a new pet within 6 months after the first pet died. So annoying.



Like pets, tattoos are common with Millennial women. Good luck getting both a petless and tattooless Millennial woman and it doesn't seem like Gen Z is going to be much better with either pets or tattoos. She might be super young and hasn't had time to get either of those yet.

Women are more attractive with no tattoos. Few small tattoos are acceptable but less than ideal. Too many tattoos is not good.



Yes and yes. High travel women are always trouble. Before the pandemic, there were many women who traveled a fair amount of business. Fortunately, business travel has dropped off.

There are some women who have such busy schedules that it will inhibit their abilities to form new relationships with anyone. I've had dates (all arrranged on swipe apps) where I met the woman and wondered how she'd ever form a healthy LTR with anyone based on her current time committments. I didn't go on second dates with those women. Those women needed to cut down on their extracurricular committments and/or take a less demanding job.

Careerism is a red flag you didn't mention. Feminism too. However, feminism is difficult to define. The typical woman born in the 1980s or 1990s is more radically feminist than the feminists of the 1960s, and these 1980s-1990s born women usually don't even identify with feminism.,
Last point. I have not been told, but I get the impression she is someone who has a strong personality (She is Jamaican) and, therefore, likely to be argumentative, bossy, etc.

Furthermore, I believe she would be someone who is supportive of LGBTQ+ etc ideology.
 

will123

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Very extroverted is not a red flag by itself. Being very flirtatious with men in general is. This is typically a woman who has Cluster B tendencies and relishes a lot of validation. She isn't going to get enough validation from just you in a relationship and this will be a constant battle.

On the other hand, these types are very fun in short bursts. For just social events/sex they are perfect. My problem personally is I am highly attracted to this type of woman despite knowing the pitfalls. I had a long LTR with a HB 8.5 who had these tendencies and it was probably the most exciting relationship of my life when it first began - but it became hell. You will constantly be setting and reaffirming boundaries and she will constantly be breaking them. Tread carefully.
She is VERY flirtatious with men, as I mentioned in response to other posts. This I have heard, but not seen. One guy has told me she would jokingly ask him why he has not asked her on a date and he told her (jokingly) she was not fluffy enough. Point is, possibly flirty or even desperation there.
 

Robert28

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I have met a woman that is extroverted but VERY flirty with men. I am wondering whether this is a red flag?

Also, could anyone let me know what red flags to look out for. Thanks
Classic attention *****.
 

pipeman84

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@ OP single mom, that's the biggest red flag right there. Why would you want to complicate your life with her? :oops:
 

will123

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@ OP single mom, that's the biggest red flag right there. Why would you want to complicate your life with her? :oops:
Maybe that is why she has been single for a few years? No guy will touch a single mum?
 

pipeman84

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Maybe that is why she has been single for a few years? No guy will touch a single mum?
Re single, I would take that with a big grain of salt, you can't know how many guys she's fvcked. Being chaste for years isn't congruent with her other behaviors. Re single mom, that in itself is a huge red flag, add the other things you mentioned in this thread and in my view only a guy looking for trouble would get involved with this woman.
 

will123

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Re single, I would take that with a big grain of salt, you can't know how many guys she's fvcked. Being chaste for years isn't congruent with her other behaviors. Re single mom, that in itself is a huge red flag, add the other things you mentioned in this thread and in my view only a guy looking for trouble would get involved with this woman.
Can you elaborate on what I bolded?
 

Robert28

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Maybe that is why she has been single for a few years? No guy will touch a single mum?
No, she’s been single becsuse she chooses to be single and she keeps chasing Chad and overlooking men on her level.
 

pipeman84

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Can you elaborate on what I bolded?
Single mom, very flirty with men, 'seeing' the Spanish and the Jamaican guy...this doesn't sound like a woman who keeps her legs closed waiting for a particular man. ;)
 

sangheilios

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From observations of mine plus some personal experiences;

A major red flag is when a woman is highly active on social media to the point where it is a regular part of her life. If she is constantly taking selfies, particularly thirst trap type photos showing herself off in a provocative way it's often not a good thing to see. I've noticed that women like this are not only narcissistic but their entire existence is based around the validation they can get from others, particularly men. Women like this are naturally going to get a lot of attention and will be bombarded by men. These women will also lead men on, as the more orbiters she can get the better. Pretty self-explanatory, I'd steer clear of women like this without hesitation, just a modern example of attention whoring.

Something else I've seen, though not quite as obvious as the example above, is if a woman overshares personal issues at a time where it is inappropriate. If you have been dating for quite a while it is normal to open up about some traumas from childhood, etc. However, if on the first date she starts talking about her psychological issues or brings up something like sexual abuse or trauma this is a very bad sign. Quite a while ago I had a first date with a woman and she randomly blurted out how she was sexually abused as a child, there was literally nothing in the conversation that would have led to that. Very bad sign.

Some more obvious examples;

- Has a lot of tatoos
- Has unusual/excessive piercings
- Unnatural colored hair (pink, blue, etc.)

I've found that with these above very often these women are not something you want around. I've noticed that the women with unnatural hair colors often seem to have legitimate mental health issues.

Other things I'd steer clear of would be party girls or women who have an alcohol problem or are drug users, this really doesn't need any further explanation.
 

will123

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From observations of mine plus some personal experiences;

A major red flag is when a woman is highly active on social media to the point where it is a regular part of her life. If she is constantly taking selfies, particularly thirst trap type photos showing herself off in a provocative way it's often not a good thing to see. I've noticed that women like this are not only narcissistic but their entire existence is based around the validation they can get from others, particularly men. Women like this are naturally going to get a lot of attention and will be bombarded by men. These women will also lead men on, as the more orbiters she can get the better. Pretty self-explanatory, I'd steer clear of women like this without hesitation, just a modern example of attention whoring.

Something else I've seen, though not quite as obvious as the example above, is if a woman overshares personal issues at a time where it is inappropriate. If you have been dating for quite a while it is normal to open up about some traumas from childhood, etc. However, if on the first date she starts talking about her psychological issues or brings up something like sexual abuse or trauma this is a very bad sign. Quite a while ago I had a first date with a woman and she randomly blurted out how she was sexually abused as a child, there was literally nothing in the conversation that would have led to that. Very bad sign.

Some more obvious examples;

- Has a lot of tatoos
- Has unusual/excessive piercings
- Unnatural colored hair (pink, blue, etc.)

I've found that with these above very often these women are not something you want around. I've noticed that the women with unnatural hair colors often seem to have legitimate mental health issues.

Other things I'd steer clear of would be party girls or women who have an alcohol problem or are drug users, this really doesn't need any further explanation.
She dyes her hair from time-to-time. Her natural is obviously black being Jamaican. She dyes is a straw colour, but I haven't seen her dye it any other colour, and not like every day/week.

Second point. Not sure about a drinking problem, but last week she bought 8 cans of Guiness to take home and drink alone.
 
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