What are really the requirements for dating younger women in your forties?

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

I'm in my 40s and I would like to date younger women. And so far, the advice that I've seen as in being stable, being financially successful, they don't apply to me. I do what I can, but they don't apply to me, never have. The question is, even if they don't apply, how can I make this actually happen? I mean, once I was walking through the city of a European country, and I was with a 19-year-old - so I met her, and we made out. Not so long ago, maybe four or five years. And I felt the pressure of people watching me. Maybe they didn't. Maybe it was just in my mind. I don't know. But the thing is this. I'm attracted to younger women. And by younger women, I mean every girl from 19 upwards and if you ask yourself that's legal here in Europe so that's perfectly fine.

My question is what do I actually need to bring to the table because if I follow the aforementioned advice, I will never in my whole life have sex again with someone younger than maybe 40 which is a horrible outlook so I need a better look on what is actually feasible and how it's feasible without all of those requirements or if those things are really requirements how to fake them so I get what I want?

I take care of myself, I watch my clothing style - probably there's some improvement, while actually I don't really know who to ask for advice here when it comes to clothing. I'm not overweight. I try to exercise often. I try to have a positive outlook on life.

And still, there's the question of just approaching, like, what do I say to them? Sure, most of it is just my assumption. It's not like people actively approach me and tell me that I wasn't allowed to be interested in women around 19*, that has never happened so it is basically about what mental attitude I should have. Should I just pretend like I was 19 and there's a 19 year old and I just behave alike because some claim that this approach doesn't work.

*Thinking about this, it happened once, the brother of a girl that I gave my number to called me and threatened me all based on the fact that I was 30 at that time and her 18. It wasn't about behaviour, it wasn't about looks, it was only about age. So being confrontative and aggressive is definitely a need when being older and trying to date.

LMS

L
Your looks need to be razor sharp not only for your age but compared to all adult men.

Hairdensity and hairline first, more than decent skin and great body proportion complimented from a 10-15% max bodyfat

M
If she has to deal with you rather than witha guy her age, you need to provide a better experience when it comes of accomodation, food or transport...mc donald or your grandma's basement wont do.

S
You need to have an interesting life style to intrigue her.
Wheter you are an international money launderer or a nightclub owner, you need something that turns her on and turns on her friends too.
Being a guy doing great in his job but living within the ordinary wont do if you aim for girls in their mid20s in your 40s.

If you are happy with just a FWBs situation, you can ease those requirements and rely more on your social skills.

I take for granted that you want genuine raw attraction and not just being seeing as a service provider.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You can spend the rest of your life debating what it takes on SoSuave, and trying to "out-flex" all the other posters with your knowledge and experience and questions.

Or you can treat dating and attracting women as a skill.

And spend as much time practicing as you can.

Continue to go after hotter and younger women over the next few years.

Learn from feedback, mistakes, etc.

This is only path that will improve your results.

Everything else is cope.

 

[The Duke]

You can spend the rest of your life debating what it takes on SoSuave, and trying to "out-flex" all the other posters with your knowledge and experience and questions.

Or you can treat dating and attracting women as a skill.

And spend as much time practicing as you can.

Continue to go after hotter and younger women over the next few years.

Learn from feedback, mistakes, etc.

This is only path that will improve your results.

Everything else is cope.

That's pretty much how I went about it.

 

[Velasco]

"be attractive, don’t be unattractive. Take care of yourself, exercise, eat well, and dress and behave in ways that appeal to your target market " is too vague

broken down

Be attractive, don’t be unattractive: max out your looks.

“What exactly am I trying to get at? When women perceive a guy as being attractive, and he gets constant reinforcement from women that he is attractive, his whole set of behaviors change. Not only is he physically attractive, but usually, the set of behaviors that he naturally acquires as a result of being attractive are the same set of behaviors that many women find attractive”.

Why Focus On Your Appearances?

Originally posted on: Aug 23, 2011. Anyone that has been keeping up on me knows that I am one of the few guys that will tell you to focus heavily on your appearances. The naive guy thinks that it&#…

realmademen.wordpress.com

Exercise and Eat well: post the body of an attractive person your demo likes and post your current side by side with an AI tool like gemini and then ask it to generate an exercise and diet plan to get you there. and then follow it. 3-6 months of consistent use to show a difference.

Dress: simple as dressing like the guys your demo looks like. don’t dress your age. which speaking of

Skincare: you can also use a tool like Gemini or ChatGPT for this. to help generate a skincare routine which should consist of age reversal products like retinol, a good vitamin C serum, hydraulic acid serum, and of course a high end sunscreen product like la roche posay to protect your skin from any more damage. requires at least 3-6 month of consistent use to show a big difference.

Hair: i don’t know what your hair looks like but young girls hate guys with short hair/bald. so grow out your hair as much as possible. in order to be able to style it in the top hairstyles that demo likes. i.e textured mod cut.

i’ve still got 6 years until i turn 40 but this is what i follow and i have no trouble with the 18-20 year old demo.

Also you’ll get a lot of hate and shaming comments for this from people of all ages. fvck up. it’s your life and you came here to do what you want to do. not what you should do according to other people’s standards.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Papa Joe's BBQ "Based on your statements, you don't even try daygame in your forties"

By this stage, the time has come to stop thinking of this stuff as "game" and instead recognize: Navigating relationships with the opposite sex(and everyone else, really) is a fundamental component of MANHOOD

There's no "success" or "failure" here, hoss:

If you're out in the fresh air and sunlight being sociable/approaching beautiful young ladies while doing so, and not a one of them provides you with her contact info, you haven't "failed" or "lost"... You've taken action/pursued your goals, rather than groaning about everything your unhappy about on social media, and have gathered enough Intel to write up an after-report, discern where you could potentially strengthen your act, and operate more proficiently in the future

 

[BadBoy89]

I'm in my 40s and I would like to date younger women. And so far, the advice that I've seen as in being stable, being financially successful, they don't apply to me. I do what I can, but they don't apply to me, never have. The question is, even if they don't apply, how can I make this actually happen?

If they don't apply to you, the opposite would have to apply to you.

Don't be stable, don't be financially successful.

 

[MatureDJ]

I get the feeling that there is the burgeoning cohort of women around 30 who might or might not have played the C0ck Carousel, but have been for at least a few years looking for a wealthy enough man that could afford to take care of her and their children. They notice that there are a lot of older men that have resources and figure that their situation is "now or never".

 

[Tiguere]

I'm 43 my ex is 25.


You have to be financially secured not rich.

You have to be Lean (preferably below 15% body fat..... Tall (I'm 5'11") and well groomed.

 

[viking22]

Times have changed.

I agree that today's generation of younger women are more tempted by a trad wife lifestyle than the career route a lot of our generation took and this will probably become more prevalent as AI job losses hit and entry level jobs dry up and cost of living continues to rise.

The problem is that most of these girls are probably not thinking a 50s style housewife lifestyle in the suburbs with a household budget and drab clothes and holidays in the national parks. They are looking at trad wife influencers who have multimillionaire husbands and live in huge houses, go on luxury holidays and spa days and spend a fortune on clothes, cosmetics etc.

Also if all you can provide is a meal ticket she won't stick around. She will either divorce you or monkey branch. So it works better for successful businessmen or CEOs who have power and status and leadership skills than corporate slaves on big salaries.

 

[Mike32ct]

Hair, money and height.

Have all three. Have two, or have a LOT of one lol.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Let's look at this another way. Why should a 20 something woman choose a man a generation older when she is pretty enough to select from upwardly mobile men her own age who are more suitable for marriage, have more energy for the demands of parenting, have a longer window to build wealth, and are not as likely to die on her as she hits middle age, leaving her widowed to finish raising kids?

Add to that younger men her own age are better looking, have more energy, and are more fun/relateable, and you'll start to understand why pulling a generation younger is difficult if not fantasy for the older man.

I have been a very attractive woman all my life. I would not entertain men more than 4-5 years older because I didn't envision a much older guy as a suitable partner and I didn't find old guys sexy either.

And I could have. I had extremely wealthy men (worth in some cases tens or hundreds of millions) who wanted to date me/get into a relationship with me....they were OLD. I was actually grossed out by the idea.

If a woman feels that way? Sorry. There is no way to overcome that.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@BeExcellent "Why should a 20 something woman choose a man a generation older when she is pretty enough to select from upwardly mobile men her own age who are more suitable for marriage, have more energy for the demands of parenting, have a longer window to build wealth, and are not as likely to die on her as she hits middle age, leaving her widowed to finish raising kids?"

One's Mileage Will Likely Vary:

Upward mobility/wealth of any sort is generally a byproduct of a man being on his proverbial purpose, and(while there are certainly exceptions)MOST fellas in their 20s ain't quite there yet. I'll agree that when we get into territory like men in their 80s and older pairing up with 20somethings, we're pushing it

In any event, we're all just spitballing here: We as men have to put ourselves out in the wild, and discover what works for us, when, where, and in what contexts

 

[pipeman84]

Let's look at this another way. Why should a 20 something woman choose a man a generation older when she is pretty enough to select from upwardly mobile men her own age who are more suitable for marriage, have more energy for the demands of parenting, have a longer window to build wealth, and are not as likely to die on her as she hits middle age, leaving her widowed to finish raising kids?

Add to that younger men her own age are better looking, have more energy, and are more fun/relateable, and you'll start to understand why pulling a generation younger is difficult if not fantasy for the older man.

Because: 1. men her own age are immature, often even more so than her ... therefore you have a case of blind leading the blind (meaning fights, arguments, all kinds of resulting BS)
2. men her own age are not interested and/or don't have the resources to become parents. A mid 20s guy is much more likely to look forward to conquering the world than to change diapers and play house
3. characteristics such as fun/relatable and good looking are all in the eyes of the beholder. In other words, plenty of soy boys in their 20s and MEN in their 40s
4. if the yardstick is professional sports (athletics, soccer and so on) then indeed energy is a strong point for men in their 20s.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Because: 1. men her own age are immature, often even more so than her ... therefore you have a case of blind leading the blind (meaning fights, arguments, all kinds of resulting BS)
2. men her own age are not interested and/or don't have the resources to become parents. A mid 20s guy is much more likely to look forward to conquering the world than to change diapers and play house
3. characteristics such as fun/relatable and good looking are all in the eyes of the beholder. In other words, plenty of soy boys in their 20s and MEN in their 40s
4. if the yardstick is professional sports (athletics, soccer and so on) then indeed energy is a strong point for men in their 20s.

That’s just cope, assumptions, and generalizations. You can flip the same arguments the other way just as easily like there are plenty of men in their 20s who are mature, focused, and willing to build a life, and plenty of men in their 40s who aren’t. Just because someone craves comfort and security it doesn’t mean everyone else does.

At the end of the day, it boils down to the individual and the gaps and priorities both parties need filled.

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree with @Clockwerk50 . Most emotionally healthy young ladies are in fact looking for an "age appropriate" man, but of course not ALL. So what men with this desire MUST digest is that IF she is open to a much older man, then what is it that YOU have or possess that will stand out in relation to all the other men her own age, and all the men in between your age and her age that fancy her. What is so outstanding about YOU? Nothing? Well unsurprisingly you fail.

My son btw is 23, married, has a college degree, a stable upwardly mobile career path, and a daughter. They are now expecting a son. He is very good looking, socially adroit, and stylish. His wife is a full time wife and mother.

So ya, there are young guys out there who are exactly what many many many young ladies are looking for.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Most answers here are regurgitated, no studies, no proof just limiting beliefs declared as truth. Based on your statements, you don't even try daygame in your forties. I came here for better mental perspectives and I received regurgitated, dehumanizing limiting beliefs with a few exceptions(proximity, even though it's outer game). I am starting to believe that most of you have no skin in the game and are miserable.

Try this https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1J3ki7pYP1/ when you next approach. Being completely serious here

 

[sangheilios]

A guy in his mid 40s who is in very good shape and done well for himself shouldn't have much in common with some girl barely out of high school. Even if you are this man, you are probably going to fall flat on your face unless you are initiating by attracting them with money, using sugar daddy websites, etc.

However, a guy in this age range could realistically still pull a woman that is in her mid to late 20s. Women in this age range can still be very attractive AND they are probably entering into a time where they are wanting to get locked down into a serious relationship.

I don't think there is anything wrong with going much younger, but it's just not realistic more often than not.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Because: 1. men her own age are immature, often even more so than her ... therefore you have a case of blind leading the blind (meaning fights, arguments, all kinds of resulting BS)
2. men her own age are not interested and/or don't have the resources to become parents. A mid 20s guy is much more likely to look forward to conquering the world than to change diapers and play house
3. characteristics such as fun/relatable and good looking are all in the eyes of the beholder. In other words, plenty of soy boys in their 20s and MEN in their 40s
4. if the yardstick is professional sports (athletics, soccer and so on) then indeed energy is a strong point for men in their 20s.

Yeah, I personally didn't really even begin to LOOK less boyish/pretty and more virile/rugged until my 30s rolled around, and this seems to be more the rule than the exception among MOST men I encounter. And the sentiment "When I was in my 20s, women my age would sooner nose dive into a wood chipper than look in my direction... Now, they're playing with their hair, showing leg, and giggling within seconds of my being in the vicinity" is near universal among "older" guys who've put effort into themselves

If there are fellas barely out of high school who are racking up a kill count in the billions, hurray for them. They're the mating equivalent of that 0.0000000000000000000001% of men who make it to The NFL or NBA


@BeExcellent As to why young women date, marry, and have babies with men who are are obviously going to die long before they do:

The explanation is no doubt multi-faceted, nonetheless I can't help but notice how much fiction written for and by women features a romance with a fella much older than herself, be it a teacher, her boyfriend's father, a bodyguard, etc etc.... Methinks the taboo-breaking nature of such scenarios(These women are flipping society the bird several times over, and getting away with it) makes them thrilling, ergo many gals go through with them

 

[The Duke]

Hair, money and height.

Have all three. Have two, or have a LOT of one lol.

Nah, only if your personality lacks.

 

[Papa Joe's BBQ]

A guy in his mid 40s who is in very good shape and done well for himself shouldn't have much in common with some girl barely out of high school. Even if you are this man, you are probably going to fall flat on your face unless you are initiating by attracting them with money, using sugar daddy websites, etc.


However, a guy in this age range could realistically still pull a woman that is in her mid to late 20s. Women in this age range can still be very attractive AND they are probably entering into a time where they are wanting to get locked down into a serious relationship.


I don't think there is anything wrong with going much younger, but it's just not realistic more often than not.

That’s not realism; it’s a neatly phrased 'I couldn’t manage it’.

Yeah, I personally didn't really even begin to LOOK less boyish/pretty and more virile/rugged until my 30s rolled around, and this seems to be more the rule than the exception among MOST men I encounter. And the sentiment "When I was in my 20s, women my age would sooner nose dive into a wood chipper than look in my direction... Now, they're playing with their hair, showing leg, and giggling within seconds of my being in the vicinity" is near universal among "older" guys who've put effort into themselves


If there are fellas barely out of high school who are racking up a kill count in the billions, hurray for them. They're the mating equivalent of that 0.0000000000000000000001% of men who make it to The NFL or NBA



@BeExcellent As to why young women date, marry, and have babies with men who are are obviously going to die long before they do:


The explanation is no doubt multi-faceted, nonetheless I can't help but notice how much fiction written for and by women features a romance with a fella much older than herself, be it a teacher, her boyfriend's father, a bodyguard, etc etc.... Methinks the taboo-breaking nature of such scenarios(These women are flipping society the bird several times over, and getting away with it) makes them thrilling, ergo many gals go through with them

This isn’t a theory about dating – it’s an autobiography masquerading as a law of nature.

Advice from the old lady:


Let's look at this another way. Why should a 20 something woman choose a man a generation older when she is pretty enough to select from upwardly mobile men her own age who are more suitable for marriage, have more energy for the demands of parenting, have a longer window to build wealth, and are not as likely to die on her as she hits middle age, leaving her widowed to finish raising kids?


Add to that younger men her own age are better looking, have more energy, and are more fun/relateable, and you'll start to understand why pulling a generation younger is difficult if not fantasy for the older man.


I have been a very attractive woman all my life. I would not entertain men more than 4-5 years older because I didn't envision a much older guy as a suitable partner and I didn't find old guys sexy either.


And I could have. I had extremely wealthy men (worth in some cases tens or hundreds of millions) who wanted to date me/get into a relationship with me....they were OLD. I was actually grossed out by the idea.


If a woman feels that way? Sorry. There is no way to overcome that.

You argue, 'Why should she?’ – since when do people base their choice of partner strictly on rational optimisation?"
You were a 'very attractive woman’ with access to millionaires – to what extent is that representative?
If your personal aversion ('grossed out’) is decisive – why does that automatically apply to other women?
It’s interesting that you list the advantages of younger men, but completely ignore why the opposite situation still regularly occurs.
'There is no way to overcome that’ – is that based on data or on your gut feeling?