What angle to you use on the "serious" girl?

[deuce42]

Hey guys

Flirty banter is great with girls with a real sense of humour and like to play a little etc, but do you ever find yourself with an opportunity for an attractive girl who is really very very serious and doesn't have much of a sense of humour or is not good with the ****y banter?

I know the reality is that girls who like to have fun are much more preferable, and I would rather them, but I do feel that often there are also opportunities for really nice looking chicks which I loose because they are really serious kinds of girls.

So how do you guys play that angle? How do you work the serious librarian type? Its my experience that ****y banter will shock them and/or send them running, - but clearly friendly stuff results in .......the friendzone! If there is an in between I have certainly never understood how to find it with this type of girl - but is there another strategy or approach again?

Often these girls on a night out will tell you they dont like alcohol either. One of my most pathetic yet valuable tools removed

 

[leighaxox]

I guess the best approach would be to find out what she's interested in. Ask her about her goals, passions. Once you get her talking about something she's really interested in, the conversation should flow fairly easily - rather than feeling forced. You can find a common interested, and build from there.

 

[deuce42]

The problem I find is the common interest always leads to serious and interesting discussion, which is great in itself as a discussion, but then trying to bridging over into flirting or sex has been lost or is almost weird to then raise.

 

[Boilermaker]

you have to be adaptive in different habitats.

Not every girl will buy your lame, empty jokes.

The rather intellectual type will soar if you show YOUR intellectual side. Read more often. Refine yourself. Grow your interests as a man, and you'll see that the serious types will be easily hooked.

 

[deuce42]

But if anything that was one of my main problems before I came to this site. I am an intellectual and artistic person and had great rapport with many deep thinking women. But the problem was that it just always became an intelligent friendship and I never could avoid becoming friendzoned by it. I would like to think my interests are varied and my conversations skills with people are good, - but it's turning that into sexual with women rather than just intellectual discussion that I am stumbling with.....

 

[JustLurk]

Try discussing while doing it in the doggy position.
*Mmph* honey, what do you think about nihilism.
uhh *mmph* *MMPH* Im more of an existentialist myself.

 

[mahoney]

I am an intellectual and artistic person and had great rapport with many deep thinking women. But the problem was that it just always became an intelligent friendship and I never could avoid becoming friendzoned by it.

I think the partial mistake you are doing here is - you think you are being 'friendzoned' but its actually you that is sort of 'friendzoning' yourself. i actually think this is a really common problem! dudes can be quite rigid in the way they act, thinking one type of interaction means one thing and another means another thing, lacking the flexibility to be a bit more open ended about things, so they often put themselves into a position whereby its then hard for them to feel they can make a move. but i think this is their issue far more than the girls, in most cases - they just think the girl put them there.

i think its mainly a lack of flexibility that dudes have in such situations

to answer the initial question, i think actually serious girls are quite rare - what is much more common are girls that appear serious but have a different sense of fun or humor that you can't see or pick up on, could be a more intellectual sense, but could also just be a more obtuse or quirky sense, but something which isn't immediately apparent to you - if you share that sense, it will be much more apparent, because you will have a rapport or connection, but if you don't then its going to be much harder

 

[JustLurk]

dudes can be quite rigid in the way they act, thinking one type of interaction means one thing and another means another thing, lacking the flexibility to be a bit more open ended about things, so they often put themselves into a position whereby its then hard for them to feel they can make a move.

+rep.

 

[deuce42]

I am sure you guys are right in what your saying, but then just offer me a little more help in overcoming this one. Say I start chatting to some girl who seems pretty serious, we decide we have something in common and we chat about (insert whatever nerdy profound and unfunny topic here). How do you guys transition then to getting things sexy? What actually can I do to be more flexible? Just simply change the topic? Where do I go wrong here or what should I be doing?

I know you guys are right but I just cant seem to get it into my thick head how to move beyond this. I know once the penny drops it will be clear to me, the coins just aint dropping!