What am I missing?!

[AtomicDog]

Hi People

Well I'm feeling kind of down right now.

I left home at 17 because I thought I could make it on my own. Things havent gone as I expected.

One thing I've had *LOTS* of difficulty in is getting and keeping friendships with.

And that bothers me because it seems like you need to have friends to get *ANYWHERE* in this life. Particularly being a DJ. But just about every other area of life too.

For some reason whenever I try to befriend people they seem to do one of 3 things: 1) ignore me 2) appear offensive and even try to attack me! 3) start off as being good friends, then gradually just "drift" away.

So I want to know if anyone here has had this experience or if you have any CLUE what's going on here.

At first I thought it must be people that have the problem, but now I'm thinking there must be something about me that just brings out the offensive in people.

I had a particularly hard time at one job, where nearly the whole place was against me except for a couple of sales guys I got on well with.

So..... any advice??

 

[oakraiderz2]

What did you do to have an entire establishment against you?

 

[AtomicDog]

What did you do to have an entire establishment against you?

That's what I'm asking you!

I just went in there, being myself, and got nothing but being sworn at, called names, derogatory jokes, the works!

I complained to the boss on several occasions and that helped a bit, as well as getting on side with a few of the employees who were sympathetic. I bumped into one of these guys after I had quit the job and he said he had a ****ty time too.

So maybe its not just me.

I just find it difficult to get accepted by a new group of people. I didn't realise it was this difficult to make friends!

 

[Docs]

Depends on the job. If it's a job noone could really care about..then yeah, it'll suck. On the other hand, if you have a group of people that aren't too afraid to work, and can take a joke (and give one), those are the people that you'll usually have no problem with.

 

[Jackman]

Sometimes overanaylizing a small problem becomes a big problem in itself. For example, when I was younger I always had an issue with thinking of something to say. I worried about it so much that I rarely said anything at all. When people tried to talk to me, I'd respond with short answers not feeling comfortable about carrying the conversation further myself. As a result, people thought that I was rude, ignoring them or trying to get rid of them, so they would act rude in turn which always took me by surprize.

It took me a while to realize that accidently saying the wrong thing, or saying something foolish didn't happen as often as me pissing someone off by not talking at all, which generally seemed to happen to me all of the time. I was causing frequent problems for myself by trying to avoid less frequent problems. Ironic.

Anyway, what it is exactly that you're doing I have no idea. It could be something completely different causing the same effect. But whatever it is, it's probibly something you think about a lot.

 

[AtomicDog]

The only time I *ever* have trouble thinking of what to say is when I'm nervous or don't trust someone.

I think that was probably your problem too.

I'm trying to get rid of my nervousness because it's causing me to do really stupid things like not making new friends when the opportunity arises.

I have been told that I sometimes have a nervous/anxiety look on my face -- maybe thats the problem too...?