what a night- A reflection on friends

[synergy1]

I have been gone for a while. Life has been busy, and life has been good. On one front, I have established myself as a person at a temporary contract job who has exceeded ( read annihilated ) expectations, and enlisted the interest in management to create a position for me. On another front, I have recently gotten an offer for a job as a nuclear engineer with an earnings of easily over 110 k per year US in a few years. Obviously, a career in the next decade is going to be starting pretty soon.

With all of that in mind, I have been enjoying my weekends a great deal. Last weekend was a sick game 5 bruins over time winner which involved a bunch of us getting drunk. The night ended quite badly, as I ended up following my friends in a cab (trying to get home), but ended up ****blocking them with the girls they were going after. Okay , I admit fault as I was simply trying to get home and find a place to sleep and didn't know better. In all reality, they couldn't care about anything besides getting their **** wet.

Fast forward to tonight. I am feeling good again, and manage to get two really cute girls numbers. The first one ,kate, is an international affairs major who had presented at the undergraduate research conference and was out. I made conversation with this short, freckled girl and got her number. The intention was to hang out later on. After, I went with my friends, and they dared me to go up to a few really hot girls who were walking by. Naturally, I felt up to it and did so. The girl I approached stopped, and i literally came up with conversation on the fly and she ate it up. her name was skyla and i got her number too to hang out. She was a cute blonde chick with beautiful blue eyes.

With all that done, I felt confident that I could try and meet up with those girls later. So naturally It was all about making conversation. Long story short is that I made conversation with chicks who my friends thought they had a chance with, and they once again went back to the "you are ****blocking' mentality.

So what is the purpose of this long, drunken rant? One statement is this: don't really take friends faith too much. They are in it for themselves, and will use you as a scapegoat whenever possible. I called my friend out on it , and when a point came up which he could not refute he did "not want to argue with it". Why? because I was not a convenient target for his malice.

Tonight was an example of robert greene's law of never putting much faith in some friends. They take advantage of your generosity, than feel the need to unload their frustrations when their **** goes wrong. Their frustrations are from within, yet they have expectations which allow them to dump on me. In a way, it is sad seeing our group of friends diverge. The few bittered ones who crave nothing but power slowly go their own way and do nothing but begrudge the world which they do not, and are incapable of understanding.

god, I really do not want to read this in the morning. So let us make the focus of this thread. Feel free to post about the following: when have friends blamed you for something, or let you down for their own short comings? When have friends shown their true colors when things don't go their way? Lastly, when have friends potentially taken advantage of your generosity?

This paints a very pessimistic picture of some friends, but its the cold truth sometimes. I want to see what everyone experiences are here, and see if i am not alone ( to be clear, I have a great number of good friends still...this post represents the actions of a small few)

 

[user43770]

You shouldn't depend on anybody that isn't your blood. This is true for everyone on earth. This is evolution. After a certain point, people are going to fend for themselves. You do it, I do it, everyone does it. The only difference is that some people will toss you under the bus a lot quicker than the rest. Fvck those people - I don't associate with them.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Agreed with above poster. You're lucky in life to have "1" real friend. The rest you mine as well call acquaintances. There are some that beat others, but honestly I can count on one hand people I'd :A) trust with my life and B) would help me out of a life jam that'd interfere with their life. Only one comes to mind that I know would sacrifice his current agenda to help me with a real jam. Of course that's a 2 way street. I think my generation has it wrong with the whole "friend" thing on facebook. Not trying to stir the FB issue, but what most people call, "friends" are really just people that have drifted in and out of our lives. As the saying goes,"A friend will help you move, a real friend will help you move a body".
KC

 

[synergy1]

Agreed with above poster. You're lucky in life to have "1" real friend. The rest you mine as well call acquaintances. There are some that beat others, but honestly I can count on one hand people I'd :A) trust with my life and B) would help me out of a life jam that'd interfere with their life. Only one comes to mind that I know would sacrifice his current agenda to help me with a real jam. Of course that's a 2 way street. I think my generation has it wrong with the whole "friend" thing on facebook. Not trying to stir the FB issue, but what most people call, "friends" are really just people that have drifted in and out of our lives. As the saying goes,"A friend will help you move, a real friend will help you move a body".
KC

ha ha coming to this thread was like expecting to see a disaster scene. On the note about facebook friends, I recently cleansed 40+ friends from my list. Still a few people I could have afforded to de-list, but some profiles are interesting.

Counting on friends is silly. Truth is, I have a lot of good ones. 99% of the time, im reliable and people really like me. Last night was one of those errant 1% of those times where I probably crossed a line. Truth was when you are just being social, women can just flock to you. Its like you aren't trying, but others might view it as such. I guess all one can do is try to learn from mistakes and move on.

On other notes, one of the numbers from the first girl was a fake she said she had a boyfriend she was about to ditch, so I guess someone even partially committed would probably want to avoid giving out contact info. Too bad, she was cute. The second one has yet to respond, but i'll try for that one later. Again, this one was a wicked cold approach ( on the street) and she was a really cute chick.

In closing, you all are right. People will betray you as soon as the situation warrants. This goes for everyone. Its nothing new. This was more of a rant, in a very inebriated state.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

What people consider friends aren't friends. I do not have one real friend. Yes, There are many guys I will go play basketball with and go sarging with and I do claim them as my friends. But there not true friends that will look after me. Don't rely on anyone unless it's your family.

 

[st_99]

you cant really expect a whole lot from "friends"

They are good to have for getting invited to parties, bbq's, networking etc but really what do you expect. They are not going to drop their lives to get you out of a jam or whatever. If you have the 1 close special friend that really would go out of their way to help you out thats great. Don't think the others are not friends though just because your huge expectations arent being met. They are still friends.

 

[synergy1]

i have narrowed down the reason for my unforgivable behavior - tequila. I never seek it out on my own since I hate the stuff, but peer pressure is another story. For the playoff hockey games, some friends think its a good idea to do shots for goals. When your team wins 4 to 2, do the math.

So it seems everyone is playing nice again. This is good since we have a pretty solid group overall. I admitted fault and am making it a habit not to blow up peoples spots. My buddy seems to think I can come into a set and blow other people out, which is something I think I did that night. So maybe at the end of the day, it was I being the bad friend too. Tough to tell. With women, i am fairly aggressive lately.

None of the two numbers panned out. Its too bad because the second one was an amazing step up from what one would expect from a cold approach. Ah well, you miss 100% of the shots you never take.

 

[hansol]

1.) To use your words, in all reality you too were just looking to get your **** wet.

2.) ****blocking amongst friends means somebody (or all involved) are bad wings. Maybe figure out a game plan before the night starts.

3.) A bad tradesman blames his tools. You're blaming tequila.

Maybe next time don't be a selfish drunken wanker, be a good wing, and nobody goes home upset. Simple. I understand what you were trying to get at with the "friends" comment, but it doesn't look like anybody got Count of Monte Cristo'd here; get off your high horse, apologize, and fix things going forward.

 

[Brownrice]

What people consider friends aren't friends. I do not have one real friend. Yes, There are many guys I will go play basketball with and go sarging with and I do claim them as my friends. But there not true friends that will look after me. Don't rely on anyone unless it's your family.

I disagree with the bolded part. With the right social skills, you can develop lasting friendships.
Family can be worse than friends. Trusting someone just because they are your family is really naive. You should only trust someone based on their action.
Besides my mom, the only other people I trust are a few of my friends.

Learn to make real friends instead of having this predisposed mentality of not trusting anyone who's not your family.


Back to OP,

If you ****blocking your friends, then you're not a good friend. Look at things from their perspective.

 

[synergy1]

1.) To use your words, in all reality you too were just looking to get your **** wet.

2.) ****blocking amongst friends means somebody (or all involved) are bad wings. Maybe figure out a game plan before the night starts.

3.) A bad tradesman blames his tools. You're blaming tequila.

Maybe next time don't be a selfish drunken wanker, be a good wing, and nobody goes home upset. Simple. I understand what you were trying to get at with the "friends" comment, but it doesn't look like anybody got Count of Monte Cristo'd here; get off your high horse, apologize, and fix things going forward.

Well lets look at the first night. I was basically blacked out and in a part of boston I didn't know . I followed my friends into the cab with the intentions of going home. This wasn't the sign of a bad wingman, just a sign of someone trying to make sure they have a place to crash one night.

The second night might have been different. I joined in on a conversation and stole the attention. It was unintentional ( I am not desparate for sex, I declined it thrusday night). All I did was steal attention away briefly, than this girls friends took her away from everyone. Thats not ****blocking. No one got anything. I just jumped into a conversation at the wrong time.

I don't normally blame crutches, but I was pretty bombed. Last night, I removed it from the repertoire and everything was back to normal. I still told my boy that It wasn't cool. He's over it, and I know that it was unintentional.