"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Were His actions Innocent?

Upper

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It seems like a technique straight out of SS, I read something similar here before
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DreamyChick

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In_the_Wild said:
You know when he was asking you about sex, and you didn't like the subject. And he kept talking, and you said you didn't want it...

And than you start asking him what he wants, and he sais nothing.. And you push it, and he's like, you got me wrong..

It's the same thing going on. As you grow older, you will figure it out. Now, either someone of you gets their guts together and does something, or you both gonna end up screwing with your heads and not your bodies, which is the wrong way around.

when you are alone, KISS HIM!

Can you blame me for not wanting to talk about it? I didn't want to get worked up over something that he said was never going to happen. I will ask him to kiss me the next time we are together and see what happens. Should I be honest with him the next time he asks me what I want, or will it scare him off?
 

flippinfreak

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DreamyChick said:
Can you blame me for not wanting to talk about it? I didn't want to get worked up over something that he said was never going to happen. I will ask him to kiss me the next time we are together and see what happens. Should I be honest with him the next time he asks me what I want, or will it scare him off?
Dreamy Chick, would you ever go through the process of making a list of all the contradicting expectations you have?

All I can say is I hate this thread. It is retarded, and if I had grown the stone like people have been telling me to do all my life, I'd be calling you a troll as well, and literally building up arguments. Those guys hear you complaining about basically the same thing, over and over and over again.

The question you just asked, has been answered 40 times on this thread. Just make a move, tease him sexually, make him know that it is alright if he makes a move. I have girls hit on me ALL of the time, they hit on me, because I social proof them from the start that I am a sexual person. I lead them forward, I misinterpret their words to sexual words, I use innuendo, I make sure that THEY know it is okay at anytime for them to get sexy back with me.

The guy you are hitting on... I missed entirely the point where you talk about BL. What is taht about? I am not going to read over 100 posts to get an answer, I think it is all a waste of space... IOW AWing if you know what AWing is.

I read the piece about him reading your online diary. If you let people read your diary, and HE feels the need to tell you to stop. I'm guessing your not going to stop. This will just make him think "damn she's stupid", maybe not so harsh, but he will begin to lose interest in you. All the rest, is well, petty thoughts. You are blowing this whole deal out of proportion. I don't know if you stay quiet all day long expecting this guy to be able to read your thoughts. I do think that making a diary for the whole world to read, and allowing HIM to have access to it, so that he knows how EASY you are going to be to him is horrid. I think you are a stupid person for making the diary.

I think he's being nice to you. He doesn't want to tell you to fvck off. He thinks you are a great friend. He wants you to know that you are embarassing yourself by being upfront with him, but not brave enough to actually tell him how you feel. I think he would respect you putting into words that he can hear with his ears how you feel about him.

Just the fact you are asking about any of this though, shows you are obsessed. Being obsessed is the same as an addiction. Having an addiction can be damaging...

Go to the gym. Visit some friends. Make some new guys friends. Study for school... do something that makes you happy.

DreamyChick, What is it that girls like to do for fun that you don't find on women's dating websites?
 

spider_007

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Drimy Chick needs to get a job writing those dirty romance novels.....i was fillin' it.


Just jump the guy. (don't expect nothing long term)
 

TesuqueRed

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DreamyChick said:
He's playing more games and still you insist that I am. Are none of you going to address why his verbal is not matching with his body language? Any possible way that he's just teasing me and trying to bait me for his amusement?
pay attention to the BL, ignore the verbal

why are you hung up on the verbal? drop it already, you already know enough based on the BL

they don't have to match. if they do, fine. if they don't, go with the BL. general piece of advice: turn the sound off, look at the actions -- that clears up a lot of confusion.

btw, there is no law that says BL has to match the verbal. really, there isn't. you can't bust somebody for not making the 2 match. i checked westlaw for that

(alright, the verbal is used for engagement, obfuscation, deniability, teasing, testing etc etc etc etc etc. - if you want to get hung up on it, fine. i wouldn't waste my time if i was you)

and, finally, is there a chance he's trying to bait you (YES!, just like you're trying to bait him!) and he's attempting to use you for his amusement (YES!, just like you're doing with him...yes, really)



awright...next 20 questions? (and no i really didn't check westlaw - how lame is that?)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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MacDiddy

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I'm still a bit confused about what you (DreamyGirl) wants from him... In black and white, could you explain to the uninitiated what you want. A bit of kok?? a, quote, relationship???, end quote. What???
 

DreamyChick

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MacDiddy said:
I'm still a bit confused about what you (DreamyGirl) wants from him... In black and white, could you explain to the uninitiated what you want. A bit of kok?? a, quote, relationship???, end quote. What???

Good question...I think I just want him, and I want to be able to maintain our friendship as well. I don't think we'd be good together in a relationship outside of a friendship. But I honestly wonder if we could maintain a friendship if we go further. As it stands now, I have seen him more frequently then I have previously. But, all we are doing is hanging out at his house and he's giving me massages and I am starting to miss our doing things together such as going to see a band, or going out to eat or even playing pool. He says he enjoys talking to me where we aren't really doing anything but that. Girls are supposed to love talking right? Well for some reason, I have been high energy lately where I just want to do something and he seems to be taking his sweet time.

Anyway, I'll end it there before I get flamed again.
 

DreamyChick

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Are you an attorney Tes? If so what kind? I work for attorneys.
 

Point Blank

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Looky! It's a girl on the forums!
 

IsiMan84

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After reading all that crap, I don't think any girl under 18 deserves to be with a guy.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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wayword

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DreamyChick said:
The point is guys he's denying what I know happened. It was in my gut and I am very angry right now that he isn't accepting any responsibility. I am not crazy.
I'm guessing you're not very attractive? That would explain his lack of interest and your naivete and LSE?
 

penkitten

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Latinoman said:
Maybe she should go to that Women players site. They seem to know how to play men.

I'm here to give MEN insight. If she was going to something very serious (real relationship, etc.), then I might give her some insight too. In fact, I gave her insight, now that I think about it.

But she just wants to get laid. Then wonder why he is not even calling her. I told her...he is not into her. He just got a little horney.
i dont think she really wants to play him, but rather get insight on why he acts one way but talks another way. for women, once we know exactly what it is that the man is going after, then we can determine what to say and do next .
 

BlackJackal

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I vote that she just let him pole her and get it over with. Their both playing games and over thinking a simple situation.
 

DreamyChick

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Yes Penkitten has it right on the money. I was posting for insight so I could act accordingly and not make a fool out of myself. I have posted an update to this situation at: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=950928#post950928


Since the post above we have not seen each other in over 2 months. He is now going to school and working full time so hes busy and I am working full time plus a part time job as well. So I am busy. The last call we had he told me about his grandma being in the hospital and how he hopes we can talk again soon.
 

Chosen1

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Wow, I'm the last poster this guy seems a little shy. He care about, her and by care I mean wants to have sex with her. This is the type of guy who won't come out and admit his feelings. Give him a chance though he will be a nice good guy. Man i hope i just didn't waste my time
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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