went to club again and wussed out. want to redeem myself.

[The Spider]

this is the only club in town, and i went last night and wussed out. i feel like i want to redeem myself and ho again tonight, but will i look like a complete creeper going alone 2 nights in a row?

btw im good looking and dress well so i dont have the appearance or body language of a creep, im just wondering if being seen alone at the same place 2 nights in a row is a creepy thing?

 

[thefonz]

It's ok dude, I've been there. Don't be hard on yourself because solo sarging is really difficult.

You need to find a wingman. Do whatever you can just to have somebody with you. Post a request on mASF, craigslist, this site, or find some friends of yours who want to go out too. Joining a local lair is great too (if you have that option) because you can actually see and meet people who have benefited from pickup. Reading about it and seeing it are not the same, believe me! Make an effort to reach out to others.

 

[The Spider]

It's ok dude, I've been there. Don't be hard on yourself because solo sarging is really difficult.

You need to find a wingman. Do whatever you can just to have somebody with you. Post a request on mASF, craigslist, this site, or find some friends of yours who want to go out too. Joining a local lair is great too (if you have that option) because you can actually see and meet people who have benefited from pickup. Reading about it and seeing it are not the same, believe me! Make an effort to reach out to others.

good advice, but as far as tonight is concerned i have no one to go with, so should i avoid it altogether? not having success doesnt affect my confidernce in an yway, i just dont wanna look like a creeper.

 

[synergy1]

so you new to an area and just have no one to go out with? It sucks sitting around on a fri/sat evening, but think of staying in as a way to save the wallet and not absorb a ton of toxic alcohol!

I am in the same boat - trying to make new friends who go out. Would prefer not to go out alone though.

 

[Captain]

this is the only club in town, and i went last night and wussed out. i feel like i want to redeem myself and ho again tonight, but will i look like a complete creeper going alone 2 nights in a row?

No. Not only you won't, but it also doesn't matter really if it did, and they aren't paying attention to you.

 

[The Spider]

bump. im goin in a few hours if i am at all, really ned advice. would appreciate it immensly.

 

[Iceberg]

so you new to an area and just have no one to go out with? It sucks sitting around on a fri/sat evening, but think of staying in as a way to save the wallet and not absorb a ton of toxic alcohol!

Staying in and not doing what you enjoy isn't what you'll be telling your grandkids about when you're 80. Sure you're not spending money...but you're also not doing anything else.

If my buddies aren't around, or doing anything fun, I might go out by myself occasionally. I don't spend more than $30-$40 bucks. And I don't consume a "ton of toxic alcohol."

bump. im goin in a few hours if i am at all, really ned advice. would appreciate it immensly.

What advice do you need? Go out. Have fun. Smile. Talk to bartenders. Talk to the guy next to you at the bar. Just talk. Ask when the next baseball game is coming on. Ask what kind of drink the bartender is making. Ask a girl what song is on the radio. Obviously, this isn't gonna get you sex...but it'll get you comfortable talking to people. Using your voice.

Understand that no one is looking at you. No one is judging...no one cares. Think about when you're out with friends...if you see some normal guy sitting at the bar by himself, do you really care? Do you even notice? Probably not. You're too busy talking to your friends.

 

[The Spider]

Staying in and not doing what you enjoy isn't what you'll be telling your grandkids about when you're 80. Sure you're not spending money...but you're also not doing anything else.

If my buddies aren't around, or doing anything fun, I might go out by myself occasionally. I don't spend more than $30-$40 bucks. And I don't consume a "ton of toxic alcohol."




What advice do you need? Go out. Have fun. Smile. Talk to bartenders. Talk to the guy next to you at the bar. Just talk. Ask when the next baseball game is coming on. Ask what kind of drink the bartender is making. Ask a girl what song is on the radio. Obviously, this isn't gonna get you sex...but it'll get you comfortable talking to people. Using your voice.

Understand that no one is looking at you. No one is judging...no one cares. Think about when you're out with friends...if you see some normal guy sitting at the bar by himself, do you really care? Do you even notice? Probably not. You're too busy talking to your friends.

so its ok to go the same place alone two nights in a row? it doesnt look bad? thats basically what im afraid of.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Just go up to random girls in the club and tell them you're new in town and decided to come out for some fun and to meet new people. Ask them about good restaurants, places to go and or things to do in town. Also ask them where good places are to meet interesting people besides the club? With that last question they may start qualifying themselves to you that they are interesting and you can flow with their answers Hope that helps!

 

[Tesl]

so its ok to go the same place alone two nights in a row? it doesnt look bad? thats basically what im afraid of.

Yes, its okay.

 

[Iceberg]

so its ok to go the same place alone two nights in a row? it doesnt look bad? thats basically what im afraid of.

jesus christ, yes. Isn't that what i said?

 

[thefonz]

Sounds to me as though you have perfectionist ideals.

That is VERY dangerous when you're starting out. Nothing will make you want to quit fast.

This is a game of inches not yards. Consitency is the key. So what if you go out and ask the bartender what drinks he's making, compliment a girl on her shoes for 2 weeks. When you consistently go out and do this eventually you'll want to escalate more. Then next time you'll walk up and say hi and talk for a minute then eject. 2 weeks of this behavior 4-5 times a week you walk up direct and tell a girl she's cute and you wanted to meet her, talk for 30 minutes....this is a slow build-up to becoming great but the point is that you never beat yourself up at the end of the night. You have to get over the fear first....only then can you begin to work on your game (that's where the real frustration begins)

Process over outcome my friends, just do SOMETHING!