Went to a speed dating event last night and these are the results

[sosousage]

maybe your personality and sense of humor is total gai

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Does anyone here have a successful speed dating strategy? One can come out of these sessions with alot of phone numbers.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

We were sitting down next to each other on a bench when were chatting, she was touching me a few times on the leg and arm. Anyway, I put my hand on the inside of her knee/thigh and she didn't like that at all, afterwards it totally changed the manner of which she interacted with me.

To me, this highlights the calibration issue already pointed out. The inside of the leg is a very intimate area and one doesn't generally go straight there as a first touch. You start with platonic areas (brushing back of hands, shoulders, elbows) and gauge reaction, then escalate from there. It's ok though - you learned something from it, right?

You need to stop feeling so entitled and understand you have a long way to go in your journey. The entitlement will only lead to frustration and victim mentality. Women are a challenge and it is truly an art for many men to learn how to deal with them. Most of us are still learning to varying degrees. Recognize it as a challenge that your intelligence can work to overcome instead of feeling like it should be served to you on a platter because of (insert literally any reason here).

One you get your mind right on that, leverage the advice many have given you already and seek every and any opportunity to interact with women and when you do, don't be so outcome dependant!!! Literally the only outcome you should be focused on is your taking action. You seem to do this, on occasion, when you are in the right frame of mind, but if it doesn't result in your getting a number from a 7+ and sleeping with her, you get frustrated and go back to your entitlement story (I'm 6'4", don't drink, don't smoke, good job, broken record). Wrong. You must practice to become skilled with women. You must accept you will fail to close 100% of the time at first. You must be happy with your *action* and understand it will lead to progress over time, instead of treating every failure as yet additional proof that women are nuts and the universe doesn't want you to be successful with them. You need to practice more often, more consistently. I think you would do well to do as others have suggested and get some unattractive platonic female friends so you can start learning how to act around them in a low-pressure environment. Join some Meetup groups or sports groups etc.

Entitlement is going to speed dating and complaining that women you personally feel are less attractive than you are not interested in you, but should be. Attraction has many aspects, and what has been told to you many times but seems to not be getting through is that your social ability with women is far more important than the broken-record list of qualities you have that you feel entitle you to success with attractive women. To summarize: Attractiveness is part looks, part success, and part attitude. I would argue that attitude is the most important of these three and success is the least, but they all factor in. You KNOW you have an issue with the attitude.... Yet you still feel entitled? Why?

Let me ask you, where do you think your statement of, "If women don't like an attractive muscled 6'4" guy who blah blah blah, then there must be a problem with women. What I have should be good enough for women" is going to get you? Will that help you improve? Will that change what women want in men? So what will it do? What it looks like to me is a plea for sympathy. I'm happy to provide a little bit of that, and I have in the past, but I don't think it's what you need now.

Again, it doesn't matter if you look like Brad Pitt,. if you have no game, women will run. You can complain about that as much as you like but it won't change reality. You can learn game, but you can't fix ugly. You should be thankful (not entitled) you were born with height and enough looks that some attractive women check you out and initiate conversation. Now you just need to learn to interact with women. If you don't want to do that and would rather complain and look for sympathy, you'll have better luck on an INCEL forum.

 

[backseatjuan]

What woman would go to such an event? Lul!

Definately one with plenty of miles and loose catalytic converter, so they are looking there for loosers with some money, bro. Just my 2 cents I have no clue.

Then there is situation with 6s I know from OLD, they are hard to get and not worth the effort.

Did you pay money for participation?

 

[sangheilios]

To me, this highlights the calibration issue already pointed out. The inside of the leg is a very intimate area and one doesn't generally go straight there as a first touch. You start with platonic areas (brushing back of hands, shoulders, elbows) and gauge reaction, then escalate from there. It's ok though - you learned something from it, right?

You need to stop feeling so entitled and understand you have a long way to go in your journey. The entitlement will only lead to frustration and victim mentality. Women are a challenge and it is truly an art for many men to learn how to deal with them. Most of us are still learning to varying degrees. Recognize it as a challenge that your intelligence can work to overcome instead of feeling like it should be served to you on a platter because of (insert literally any reason here).

One you get your mind right on that, leverage the advice many have given you already and seek every and any opportunity to interact with women and when you do, don't be so outcome dependant!!! Literally the only outcome you should be focused on is your taking action. You seem to do this, on occasion, when you are in the right frame of mind, but if it doesn't result in your getting a number from a 7+ and sleeping with her, you get frustrated and go back to your entitlement story (I'm 6'4", don't drink, don't smoke, good job, broken record). Wrong. You must practice to become skilled with women. You must accept you will fail to close 100% of the time at first. You must be happy with your *action* and understand it will lead to progress over time, instead of treating every failure as yet additional proof that women are nuts and the universe doesn't want you to be successful with them. You need to practice more often, more consistently. I think you would do well to do as others have suggested and get some unattractive platonic female friends so you can start learning how to act around them in a low-pressure environment. Join some Meetup groups or sports groups etc.

Entitlement is going to speed dating and complaining that women you personally feel are less attractive than you are not interested in you, but should be. Attraction has many aspects, and what has been told to you many times but seems to not be getting through is that your social ability with women is far more important than the broken-record list of qualities you have that you feel entitle you to success with attractive women. To summarize: Attractiveness is part looks, part success, and part attitude. I would argue that attitude is the most important of these three and success is the least, but they all factor in. You KNOW you have an issue with the attitude.... Yet you still feel entitled? Why?

Let me ask you, where do you think your statement of, "If women don't like an attractive muscled 6'4" guy who blah blah blah, then there must be a problem with women. What I have should be good enough for women" is going to get you? Will that help you improve? Will that change what women want in men? So what will it do? What it looks like to me is a plea for sympathy. I'm happy to provide a little bit of that, and I have in the past, but I don't think it's what you need now.

Again, it doesn't matter if you look like Brad Pitt,. if you have no game, women will run. You can complain about that as much as you like but it won't change reality. You can learn game, but you can't fix ugly. You should be thankful (not entitled) you were born with height and enough looks that some attractive women check you out and initiate conversation. Now you just need to learn to interact with women. If you don't want to do that and would rather complain and look for sympathy, you'll have better luck on an INCEL forum.

Yeah, I learned not to put my hand there without previous safer touching....that was from almost a year ago though. I actually told my player friend about that and he asked me why I did that. I swear I had no ill intention and wasn't looking to rape her in anyway. It also didn't help that she was very attractive and during the entire date I had a semi, looking back I should have masturbated before we met up.

Anyway, the issue that I had with this speed dating event doesn't have to do with just the fact that the women were unattractive but that only a handful had anything of substance to even discuss. Most of them had no hobbies, didn't really do anything interesting with their lives, hadn't been anywhere/traveled and were just plain boring....obviously I'm not going to tell them this though lol. With many of these women I was actually carrying the conversations and I wasn't even into them at all. One woman had a tattoo that was a bit unusual so I asked her what the significance of it was, etc.

The reason why I'm mentioning all of this is because I find it kind of ridiculous that women like this are actually picky lol, which I'm sure you get. I wasn't awkwardly sitting there in silence and as I mentioned I was asking deeper questions about things they had mentioned or observations I had made, such as the tattoo girl I mentioned.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The reason why I'm mentioning all of this is because I find it kind of ridiculous that women like this are actually picky

You feel women of a certain type shouldn't be picky and should be attracted to you because of your own judgements about them based on your own value and belief systems which belong only to you. Your value and beliefs have zero relevance in the sexual marketplace. All that matters there is how others value you (though your own opinion of your own value does help you project this outwardly, but only if it's coming from true self-value appraisal as opposed to trying to compare your value to any given woman's). Again, you feel entitled: Women I think are ugly and boring should want me because I'm better than them, and they should take whatever guy will accept them. The world just doesn't work that way. You, and anyone else is free to be as picky or not picky as you want, and experience the results accordingly.

but that only a handful had anything of substance to even discuss. Most of them had no hobbies, didn't really do anything interesting with their lives, hadn't been anywhere/traveled and were just plain boring....obviously I'm not going to tell them this though

Both of these point to a vibe of distaste, disgust, anger, and entitlement that you are giving out whether you realize it or not. As @guru1000 mentioned, you cannot hide your vibe from women. They are EXPERTS at sniffing it out.

Some of those women may be boring. Don't like them? Don't date them. Some of them might be great conversationalists but are nervous around a stranger, especially a tall good looking stranger. Ten women is a small sample size, and I would argue that speed dating doesn't attract the cream of the crop. Having 1 out of 10 women be interested in you is actually average results for most guys who have average-decent game, so I don't understand what you are complaining about here.

Bottom line is you are assigning SMV to women based on your own opinions, and you are likely ranking them lower than most other people would. You are also assigning yourself a much higher SMV than any woman would assign to you because you lack game and aren't taking that into account in your self valuation. With solid game, maybe you could be a 6, 7, or 8. But with bad game, you are a 1.

 

[sangheilios]

You feel women of a certain type shouldn't be picky and should be attracted to you because of your own judgements about them based on your own value and belief systems which belong only to you. Your value and beliefs have zero relevance in the sexual marketplace. All that matters there is how others value you (though your own opinion of your own value does help you project this outwardly, but only if it's coming from true self-value appraisal as opposed to trying to compare your value to any given woman's). Again, you feel entitled: Women I think are ugly and boring should want me because I'm better than them, and they should take whatever guy will accept them. The world just doesn't work that way. You, and anyone else is free to be as picky or not picky as you want, and experience the results accordingly.



Both of these point to a vibe of distaste, disgust, anger, and entitlement that you are giving out whether you realize it or not. As @guru1000 mentioned, you cannot hide your vibe from women. They are EXPERTS at sniffing it out.

Some of those women may be boring. Don't like them? Don't date them. Some of them might be great conversationalists but are nervous around a stranger, especially a tall good looking stranger. Ten women is a small sample size, and I would argue that speed dating doesn't attract the cream of the crop. Having 1 out of 10 women be interested in you is actually average results for most guys who have average-decent game, so I don't understand what you are complaining about here.

Bottom line is you are assigning SMV to women based on your own opinions, and you are likely ranking them lower than most other people would. You are also assigning yourself a much higher SMV than any woman would assign to you because you lack game and aren't taking that into account in your self valuation. With solid game, maybe you could be a 6, 7, or 8. But with bad game, you are a 1.

I didn't feel anger or contempt for any of the women whilst I was conversing with them, I just wasn't particularly impressed with any of them but still left the event considering it an interesting and enjoyable experience. Before I had received the results, based upon my experience I wasn't sure if I would attend an event like that again, especially since I had to pay money for it. However, I did not regret my decision to attend, as I had never in my life done something like that before. The whole point of this thread was simply to discuss the observations I had made there and the experiences I had. The women were not particularly attractive, which I know they can't help, and in addition to this really didn't offer much in the manner of conversation.

I had no interest in dating any of them, which I think is pretty apparent based upon the posts I have made on this thread. The whole point was that I genuinely was shocked and surprised that none of the women had said yes to me except for one. None of this had to do with my overall vibe, as I said I was actively engaged with them and genuinely had a good time with myself there. I think it's simply a case of the fact that these women knew that I wouldn't be interested in them and because of this they simply didn't bother to check my name off for potential interests. So, if anything it's them sensing a deeper vibe that I just wasn't that into them.

I keep repeating myself, but I did in fact sit there with each and every woman and actively engaged with them, asked them deeper questions about themselves, etc. Some of the posters on here act as if I was barely acknowledging their existence and showed no genuine interest in what they were saying. I was overall very friendly and open with them. Yes, I did in fact make the observations about the people there before the event started, as I had mentioned in my original post. Yes, I did in fact notice that most of the people there were unattractive, which I stated in the original post as an observation and not a judgement. Yes, I did in fact find the majority of the women not all that interesting on a personal level, which had nothing to do with their appearance.

Edit: I was kind of angry and annoyed with the results the other day, as it really was shocking to me, but now I can kind of see where the "issue" lies.

 

[backseatjuan]

asked them deeper questions about themselves

Deep is always uncomfortable. Honestly, we're expecting of you to bang all of them, including the organizer, even if he is male.

 

[spinich]

Ok. It's got to be Dave. Or is possible that two individuals are that self delusional?