Went out with woman who stood me up this weekend

[sangheilios]

This past weekend I was supposed to be meeting up with this woman I met at Lowe's but she ended up cancelling our date at the very last minute, with no attempt to reschedule. Anyway, she ended up texting me yesterday and asked if I'd want to meet up for a drink that night, I had nothing going on and didn't see the harm in it so I agreed. We met up at a local place and just sat down on the patio outside and hung out.

She was ok and I had a good time, but there were a few things she said that kind of turned me off. She asked me how tall I was, I'm 6'4", and after I told her she made some mention about how tons of women must like me, but the way she said it seemed kind of....off, like in an insecure way. I just ignored it and kept conversing with her, but later on when there was a lull in the conversation she randomly asked me how many relationships I had, I sarcastically said "not as many as you'd think". The look on her face was very amusing but the manner to which she had presented this question again seemed to originate from insecurity. I was thinking the entire time "I'm trying to have a good time and we are getting to know each other and yet you are already asking me these questions?".

She is cute but after interacting with her and the things she said I don't think this is someone I'd want to see again, as she just seemed insecure with me.

 

[jaymbrs]

This has insecurity written all over. I'd just to try to smash and dash.

 

[Mazer]

Sounds like she has been pumped and dumped her entire life and is bitter. If she is being difficult now, wait until next week or next month. I would just next her because she isnt going to make things easy. You might also be waiting for sex for a while.

 

[sangheilios]

This has insecurity written all over. I'd just to try to smash and dash.

Sounds like she has been pumped and dumped her entire life and is bitter. If she is being difficult now, wait until next week or next month. I would just next her because she isnt going to make things easy. You might also be waiting for sex for a while.

I wasn't really planning on going out with her again lol. I had a good time and it was a good confidence booster to go and meet new women. I'm just glad I picked up on all of this now instead of later on down the road.

 

[guru1000]

You're almost there. Tell her you are not seeking beauty, although you find her attractive, but rather looking for good, positive energy. This will put her defenses down and make her work for your interest as opposed to being in her own head.

Her insecurities are not only based on how you look but also in how you make her feel. You probably had a bit of an arrogant vibe (which which you were not aware of) that also lent to her insecurity. To add to this, you failed to sexually escalate, which makes her feel you are not physically into her. It's not enough to tell her that you find her attractive, but you also need to show her via physical escalation.

So in order:

1) Tell her you find her attractive, but are not seeking beauty but rather good, positive energy;
2) Lose the arrogant vibe;
3) Physically escalate. Touch the small of her back, then her shoulder, then her hand, then her hair, get closer, kiss her.

Work on these for the next one.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

Hmmm... sounds like you could have smashed.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Glad to hear you went out with her dude

 

[Robert28]

Go out with her again. You don’t have to jump into a relationship with her, just hangout and have fun and hookup. I bet her cancelation was a **** test too, that’s what it sounds like to me after all this new information. The fact that you didn’t blow up her phone or call her names and act insecure is why she reached out. She sees you as someone that other women like, that’s never a bad thing with women no matter what they say. I’ve had girls stop seeing me cause they found out I was seeing other girls, only to come running back later on.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You are making progress. You are seeing how she is acting and putting together the reasons why. You are more aware of this now based on the time you've spent here, and wherever/whatever else you've been studying.

I can't add anything to what Guru already told you other than to remember: where you are right now is not the place where you're looking for the mother of your future babies. If you are somewhat attracted to this girl, I suggest you to continue seeing her. If you wait to go on second and third dates with only the women you are strongly interested in, when you DO meet that woman, you'll still be learning and you'll blow it. So learn what you can from this girl, and others, who you see as less than ideal.

 

[sangheilios]

You're almost there. Tell her you are not seeking beauty, although you find her attractive, but rather looking for good, positive energy. This will put her defenses down and make her work for your interest as opposed to being in her own head.

Her insecurities are not only based on how you look but also in how you make her feel. You probably had a bit of an arrogant vibe (which which you were not aware of) that also lent to her insecurity. To add to this, you failed to sexually escalate, which makes her feel you are not physically into her. It's not enough to tell her that you find her attractive, but you also need to show her via physical escalation.

So in order:

1) Tell her you find her attractive, but are not seeking beauty but rather good, positive energy;
2) Lose the arrogant vibe;
3) Physically escalate. Touch the small of her back, then her shoulder, then her hand, then her hair, get closer, kiss her.

Work on these for the next one.

Well, she was acting weird and kind of putting me off with some of her comments and the questions she randomly put out there so I really wasn't feeling it in that moment. I kind of held back a bit on this one because she did cancel our original date very last minute, literally as I was getting ready to leave. I did have a good time but I wanted to be a bit cautious, as the manner of which our dating started off on a less than positive note.

I agree though, the next woman I go out with I'm going to start applying some new ideas and see where it brings me.

Go out with her again. You don’t have to jump into a relationship with her, just hangout and have fun and hookup. I bet her cancelation was a **** test too, that’s what it sounds like to me after all this new information. The fact that you didn’t blow up her phone or call her names and act insecure is why she reached out. She sees you as someone that other women like, that’s never a bad thing with women no matter what they say. I’ve had girls stop seeing me cause they found out I was seeing other girls, only to come running back later on.

I did have a good time but she also felt kind of awkward and insecure, so at first I didn't have any intention of going out with her again. However, she really wasn't all that bad and as I said I enjoyed myself, so I was considering going out with her again just for something casual. I have no interest in getting into a relationship with this woman, but I'd rather go out with her to something casual than just stay at home lol.

You are making progress. You are seeing how she is acting and putting together the reasons why. You are more aware of this now based on the time you've spent here, and wherever/whatever else you've been studying.

I can't add anything to what Guru already told you other than to remember: where you are right now is not the place where you're looking for the mother of your future babies. If you are somewhat attracted to this girl, I suggest you to continue seeing her. If you wait to go on second and third dates with only the women you are strongly interested in, when you DO meet that woman, you'll still be learning and you'll blow it. So learn what you can from this girl, and others, who you see as less than ideal.

I'm fully aware of that, which is the reason why I feel that I should just go out with some of these women for "practice" so that when something comes along that I truly like I'll be in a better position to capitalize on it. As I mentioned to the poster above, I'm going to consider going out with her again and just try to enjoy myself, if she continues to act weird and insecure I'm going to not bother though, because I find it annoying.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Hey at the very least this is proof that you can indeed get dates from Daygame

 

[sangheilios]

Hey at the very least this is proof that you can indeed get dates from Daygame

Technically this would be considered night game, as it was dark out when I met her lol.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Technically this would be considered night game, as it was dark out when I met her lol.

Remember when people were trolling you? Now you're out getting dates. I need to approach more as well, the prospect seems to die over the phone for me lol

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I'm going to consider going out with her again and just try to enjoy myself, if she continues to act weird and insecure I'm going to not bother though, because I find it annoying.

I would suggest you not consider it, but that you do it.

Next suggestion would be to understand that all women and men are insecure over various things. She is, you are, and I am as well. Depending on our insecurities and our personalities and the dynamics in which we have with specific other people we interact with, our insecurities manifest themselves more, or less,or in differing ways. An important part of social calibration is recognizing that another person is feeling a certain way, then being able to act in a manner that brings out your desired outcome (which usually, but not always, means to put the other person at ease). This is EXTREMELY important. Women are more emotional than men. Don't look at the display of emotions as pathetic and weak or it will only fuel a hatred of women and bring nothing positive to your life. Instead, see it as another challenge in life to master... A come puzzle. I know you think of yourself as very intelligent.... So make a game out of it: She keeps asking about how many other girls like me. Why? Perhaps it's because she thinks I'm extremely attractive or out of her league. I wonder what I could do or say that would help me identify if that is actually the reason? I wonder what I could say that would put her at ease, without totally removing my value to her? I notice you did make an attempt at this when you told her "not as many as you'd think" etc. That's good. What other things could you have said instead? What was her response?

Food for thought.