went out last night with this chick and it ended rather wierd. input appreciated

[Recluce]

first of all this isn't "one-itis". im not asking how to get the girl back or anything. what im trying to figure out is what i could have done better to improve my results.

last night i had a date with this HB9. we planned to go have a cup of coffee and she called and said that she was going have a few drinks with her friends but she wanted me to come. so i went, we had some drinks then decided to go play pool. (me, her and all of her friends) we were having a great time so i tried to move in for a kiss and she turned her head. shes asked me if i was having a good time and i tell her yes. later she tells me that she really likes me but i act like an a$$hole sometimes and it pisses her off. i say, well if you dont like it.... (mistake number 1, i should have said,"what...you can't take a joke? i wasn't even really being that ****y. i turned it down quite a bit from what i usually do. im trying to let things come more natural than use the canned lines) we also got into a conversation about drinking. she pretty much goes out every night after work to "wind down" (works 2 jobs and is going to school to be a paralegal...yea like a lawyers assistant...jackpot) she says because thats really the only way that she can wind down. i say something like,"well there's other things you can do besides drinking to have fun and if you dont have to drink just to relax" (what i should have said was," ... and if you don't turn out to be a wierdo, maybe ill show you")

later i walk her out to her car so i can talk to her away from her friends. she didn't even want to talk so i said,"ok then, nice to meet ya. hope you find what you're looking for" then close her door and walk away. of course she chases after me. we start to talk and shes just been screwed by guys in the past and shes tired of games. she dated one guy for 3 years, brought him home to mom and everything. during the third year she finds out he has a 1 year old son. 2nd guy, 33 (she's 21) just stops all contact with her after 4 months of dating. so i pull the whole..."im not really looking for a girlfriend. im just meeting people and making friends and if there's happens to be a connection, great" (mistake?) then i tell her to give me a call when she figures out what she wants and walk away again. she opens the door again and asks if i want to go home with her (wtf?!?! first date) i ask why and she says that she just doesn't want to drive home alone. so i tell her that ill follow her home to make sure she gets there alright since she's had a lot to drink. so im like,"ok just let me go inside and pay for the pool table and get my ID back.

she asked,"what if im not here when you come back out". so ireply,"well i guess that means ill be going home" and walk inside. (mistake?) she drives off after that. so i go pay for my table, tell her friends by and that it was nice to meet them. (i could tell her friends thought i was cool)

i screwed up when we were walking out to her car and i asked what was wrong. i said something like,"i was having a great time till i noticed you started acting differently". i showed that her mood effected mine which is bad for a first date. also a couple of times while we were playing pool she told me that she really likes me but couldn't be in a relationship with me because i act like an a$$hole. i just kind of shrugged it off and said,"well thats who i am". anyone have a better response to this or see any point where i could improve my game. please do tell. i want your input.

what i think could be the case is that she really is into me but she's just scared that ill turn out like the other 2 guys she dated and doesn't want to risk that happening again. (p.s. i've already decided not to call her for at least a week, if ever. if she calls me, great. if not no biggie)

all comments, both postive and negative are welcome!

Rec

 

[quest]

i don't think you did too much wrong..

i would have gone and got my id rather then followed her home without it.

if u were being urself and she said ur an ******* then
a) she can except being with an *******
b) you can change yourself or be fake for a girl - worth it?

to me, a hot chick who has 2 jobs and is studying sounds VERY attractive. BUT if she's weird in the head (as it sounds)
-drinking every night
-drink driving
-over re-acting
-been "screwed over" by guys (i've noticed every slut i know says she's been "screwed over" by guys

my advice would be, long term - stay away. short term - hit it.

depends what u want.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Damn b1tches and baggage. (Males too heheh.)

I agree, not much was done wrong. Not your fault.
You DID realise your mistakes, like actually being affected by how she felt and not having as much fun.

What's her problem anyways? You gotta get your ID back. (odd how they do it at where you live thoug....)

"so im like,"ok just let me go inside and pay for the pool table and get my ID back."

***** can't even wait? ppfff whatever haha

 

[MrCode]

I think quest covered things pretty nicely, but add some of my insights:

If other people along with this girl think you can be an ass at times, you may want to tone down your C&F. I think you are one of those guys who is too good looking to be overly C&F. It is true that you should not change yourself for people, but I imagine your C&F personality was something you developed to help with the ladies, and if you are going over the top you should tone it down.

Having quiet confidence and of course standing up to a chic when she is b*tchy will probably be about all you need. Of course being funny is good too. Just keep working on it and find what fits best for you. If chics still complain too much about it once you get a good fit, tough luck for them. Plus we know chics like a-holes anyhow, right?

I still think you did pretty well with this chic, despite all the obstacles she put in your way. Having you come along with her and her friends was a little lame. In the future you may want to decline offers such as that.

When she asked you to come home with her, you definitely could have been more C&F by saying "hey babe, I'm not that easy. You need to work a little harder before I'll come home with you." Or something to that affect. And the "I'll follow you home in my car" thing was slightly AFC. She is a big girl and if she drinks everyday after work I think she can drive home when a little drunk (still it shows she isn't very responsible.)

Give her some time, then call her up and bust her for bringing you on a date with her friends: "I know you find me irresistable, but you didn't have to have your friends along to protect me from your advances. I'm a big boy and can take care of myself." You can also bust her about some of her other behavior. Then tell her she can make it up to you by cooking dinner. If she can't cook, then bust her on that and tell her to order out.

She may not be LTR material, but sh*t she is a HB9, you might as well hit it.

 

[Recluce]

quest...nah definatly not worth it which is why when she told me i acted like an *******, i replid without hesitation,"well...thats just who i am"


i have no plans to get into a long term relationship right now. im more worried about getting the skill rather than getting laid. (sex is overated and i have 2 booty calls if i absolutly need to use them...HB 7.5 and 6) although i wouldn't turn down the proposition if it was offered. i'd play hard to get of course.

as for my ID, when you get a table down here you give them your liscense and they give you the balls. and when you bring back the balls you get your liscense back. its the easiest way to keep people from just walking out without paying.

MrCode: i think you are right about my looks and me overusing C&F. im going out tonight and am going to see what its like using it minimally. i seem to be able to get numbers in under 5 minutes with using just a little bit of humor and no ****y so ill give that a whirl.

yea, i knew the,"ill just follow you home" thing was a bit AFC, but that was when i was thrown out of my good mood when she walked out, i've been thinking about that reversal quite a bit over the past couple of weeks because i knew that it would come up and when it did, i wasn't prepared for it. i was actually very surprised that she asked me to go home with her. there was a lot of kino throughout the night however. she's not very good at pool so i had to teach her a little bit. and later when she had called me an ******* she still came up and put her hand on my thighs while we were talking.

who knows, maybe i just read the signs wrong and she wanted to go home with me early since she had to wake up for work at 8. live and learn!

thanks for the input guys. much appreciated.

 

[DJnomore]

Wait a second.....

When did DJs start turning down invites to drive home with a girl they want to ****?

A Girl invites you over you negociate for what you will be getting maybe but you don't ever give her a hard time about it.

If she invites you over tell her you sleep in the nude and wont' feel comfertable unless she does the same...etc

NEVER give a girl a hard time once she agrees to give you what you want. That is what Jerks do.

Likewise never every disrespect someone for giving you what you want. She was looking for validation on her decision to invite you over when you went back to bar BTW.

 

[CaptainObvious#1]

Dude's just going to leave his lisence and car there right?
She could have waited.
I've noticed sometimes being ****y doesn't work with some girls. A little bit, yes but not too much. You just have to adjust it a little bit for different people.

 

[MrCode]

Re: Wait a second.....

Originally posted by DJnomore
When did DJs start turning down invites to drive home with a girl they want to ****?

A Girl invites you over you negociate for what you will be getting maybe but you don't ever give her a hard time about it.

If she invites you over tell her you sleep in the nude and wont' feel comfertable unless she does the same...etc

NEVER give a girl a hard time once she agrees to give you what you want. That is what Jerks do.

Likewise never every disrespect someone for giving you what you want. She was looking for validation on her decision to invite you over when you went back to bar BTW.

I totally disagree with this. This is desperate "AFC trying to get puzzy at all costs" thinking. If she wants it that bad on the first date, she will really want it if you make her wait until the second (or third, or whatever) date.

Now I do understand part of what you are saying. Chics can't take rejection so if you shut them down in a mean way about going home with them, they will be pissed and you are done. But if you do it in a fun teasing way, it will help you way more than it hurts you.

It also depends on your goals. If getting laid is all you care about, then your thinking is probably correct: you should take whatever you can get. But I think there is a "style" of DJing where you actually enjoy being with the woman beyond just sex, and you make the experience for her something amazing by stretching it out a bit.

Somehow I think a man's success can really skyrocket if he takes the latter approach versus the former. But to each his own.

 

[DJ_Dork]

This girl's got problems. Stay away.

 

[Lost In Translation]

An Australian Street Pimp Perspective

ok let's break it down from the start

me, her and all of her friends) we were having a great time so i tried to move in for a kiss and she turned her head.

your mistake there was trying to kiss her in front of her friends. ASD came into play. her friends ask her later, who long you known this guy ? she says is our first date, she gets called SLUT. is just how chicks are.

going on a first date with her friends was a mistake but you did the right thing and got along with them so she saw they approved of you ( the reason ) and you turned it into a positive. good work

later she tells me that she really likes me but i act like an a$$hole sometimes and it pisses her off. i say, well if you dont like it.... (mistake number 1, i should have said,"what...you can't take a joke?

ok she is speaking ********.

break down : SHE REALLY LIKES YOU

but you act like an a$$hole ( ******** for DJ ) and it pi$$e$ her off because SHE CANNOT RESIST YOU

she cannot stop herself LIKING YOU

and for a HB9 this is very annoying because she is used to being in CONTROL

but you are in control and she is just getting used to it lol.

she is feeling YOU AS A MAN

but then you fu** it by taking what she said literally. instead of seeing her actions behind it.

you should have said some c*cky / funny comeback to make her even more WET FOR YOU

we also got into a conversation about drinking. she pretty much goes out every night after work to "wind down"

SHE IS A MAD HO , ALCO HO LIC B*TCH lol......

i don't care how many jobs she has , what her story , she drinks EVERY NIGHT and in my opinion fu**s every night.

she is justifying her alcoholic problem, she needs to remember the 7 steps lol

yea like a lawyers assistant...jackpot

translated this means she wants to fu** rich lawyers

she says because thats really the only way that she can wind down.

she is telling you she has an alcohol dependency

later i walk her out to her car so i can talk to her away from her friends.

good work , you isolate her like a DJ should .....

she didn't even want to talk so i said,"ok then, nice to meet ya. hope you find what you're looking for" then close her door and walk away. of course she chases after me.

she didn't want to talk because SHE WANTED THE KISS you offered her before and it was on her mind. she chased after you..

FOR THAT KISS !!!!

we start to talk and shes just been screwed by guys in the past and shes tired of games. she dated one guy for 3 years, brought him home to mom and everything. during the third year she finds out he has a 1 year old son. 2nd guy, 33 (she's 21) just stops all contact with her after 4 months of dating.

stop nooo.... make the b*tch stop !!! it's hurting my ears !! ahhh !

you are asking her to turn you into a LJBF guy !!!

what were you thinking !??? but you are in luck...

as i predicted she is a MAD HO and loves the c*ck so...

she opens the door again and asks if i want to go home with her (wtf?!?! first date)

you did alot of stuff right especially walking away .... she is not used to that YOU GOT HER

i ask why and she says that she just doesn't want to drive home alone.

why are you talking still ? you should be in her car with your hand on her leg !!! she asks to take you home and fu** you and you ask why ? because you were acting like a DJ 70% the time...

so i tell her that ill follow her home to make sure she gets there alright since she's had a lot to drink.

UP UNTIL NOW !!!!

NOW SHE THINKS YOU MUST BE GAY !!!!

I THINK YOU ARE STRAIGHT UP CRAZY !!!!

she asked,"what if im not here when you come back out".

she keeps giving you chances because SHE WANTS C*CK

******** for : i need to know if i need to buy some batteries for my vibrator/dildo or not cause i am not sure if you are gay

SHE IS A HO

most b*tches never give you this many chances when you keep flaking BIG TIME.

so ireply,"well i guess that means ill be going home" and walk inside. (mistake?) she drives off after that.

i feel like crying.... you are killing me..... LOL

yeah buddy it was a mistake but we all make them and you learned from it i hope

also a couple of times while we were playing pool she told me that she really likes me but couldn't be in a relationship with me because i act like an a$$hole.

******** for YOU ARE A MAN. i cannot control you.

at the end of the day that is what she is looking for.

what i think could be the case is that she really is into me but she's just scared that ill turn out like the other 2 guys she dated and doesn't want to risk that happening again.

stop listening to her bull$hit she is speaking ******** and you are taking her literally. she is a ho. she is looking for a pimp.

this is a $hit test :

AFC answer : i would never hurt you , i am not like those guys

**WRONG ANSWER NOW LJBF ZONE**

DJ answer : can we not keep talking about your ex bf's it's kinda a turn off


apart from a few mistakes ( yeah big ones lol ) you did well , i especilly liked how you kept walking away from her making her chase YOU. for a HB9 that will make her go WILD.

don't call her for week could be good / could be bad.

she may think you are gay because she asked for the c*ck and you rejected her.

a real HO doesn't want to play games she just wants to get fu**ed hard and often. so she may go elsewhere cause she is now having withdrawals.

is she got the batteries for her vibrator/dildo then maybe she will be cool. her friends might tell her you cool. social proofing and she will give you another try.

but encouraged last time i was with a HB9 i fu**ed up with the most obvious signals too LOL and thats how i found this wonderful board





Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice?

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Lost, my quote in your signature is being lowered to the bottom of your list gradually - soon I'll be forgotten!! What's up with that??

 

[Lost In Translation]

LMAO PRL !

you have always been no.3 on my signature

but yeah you are VERY observant as i have not posted no.4

so here it as in it's full glory....

Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice?

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “

 

[sapphire]

I had a similar situation with a HB9 a while ago and ended up fycking it up for lack of experience. In short, I failed to properly read the signals and was quite inept at translating ********.

In your situation, Lost In Translation gave a pretty good analysis. But I would add that you should not call her because if you do it would shift the balance of power in her favor. With these types of women (HB8 and up) they always seek a man who will dominate them because they are used to being supplicated. So you have to remain on top all the times(no pun intended!).

If she remains interested, then she will surely attempt to contact you again. If and when she does, it would be your second chance to to reengage this time of course without the presence of her friends when her ASD would be of little relevance.

Based on your description of this girl she appears to have more
baggage than Heathrow Airport, which probably explains her chronic drinking. Definitely not LTR material. If you want to bang this chick, then go ahead but I would proceed with caution and definitely remain detached with the outcome.

 

[MRomeo99]

I think Lost in Translation nailed it. Enough said.

Good post Lost.