well...this is interesting for me

[frivolousz21]

the girl I talked to off myspace...

well I met her last night..went fine..made out and all that by the end of the night.

well today I like her...but I also do not want anything serious..so I called her and told her..and I cant really tell if she was happy about it or not..but said it was cool...

and said we can hang out whenever..which could be good for sex.



either way..whats most preplexing is that I like her but know I want to be single , I want to spin more plates, I want to grow my game, and confidence with every women I meet..


and mostly I don't care if I am alone...one day it will happen..but not today.

wow..I feel fycking enlightened or something

 

[wjh]

well you still sound needy.

 

[frivolousz21]

could be

 

[Ever onward]

You do sound needy. I mean you automatically assume she wants something serious. Has she said that she does? Maybe she's just spinning plates of her own. Assuming is needy. Anytime you start trying to figure out what someone else is thinking, that's needy.

 

[frivolousz21]

yea you guys are right...I am trying to get back into this and there will be mistakes along the way.

 

[PRMoon]

...uhhh

I don't get it. Can somebody explain what is happening here?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

You sound like my ex. Hahahaha.


Well keep your distance if you think it's necessary. Now is a great time to do it.

PR, I think he's just posting this to show that he's growing in being happier with himself.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Was calling the next day a good move?

I'm just curious because I had a similar first date tonight but I want to know whats best for my next move.

 

[frivolousz21]

well

let me explain further.

multiple factors here...

I met the girl off myspace..........

first emails..then AIM...then AIM and text, and phone..it was all day..for 3 days....

there was big time build up to meeting her.....

so when i did..it was great....took 10 min for great rapport....flirting, hugging, holding hands and so on.

kissed a lot before I said bye..it was great..

a few more things:

1. this is my first expierence since Ive been single...
2. given the amount of time we talked...would we really be dating? would be go from talking all day pretty much to not talking inbetween dates?
3. HER BEST FRIEND IS A GUY IN LOVE WITH HER.....UMM FYCK THAT ****.

I did this to protect myself...I like the girl or liked....why get involved with all those factors against me...I thought I was being a good guy by letting her know...

I cant see any other choice....I want to be single...I want sex, I like intamicy...but if I really do date someone..and just one girl..she better be gods gift to me...

plus I am meeting another women sunday or monday from myspace...so man I wanna have fun..get in the game and when I it happens it does.

 

[jophil28]

on.

3. HER BEST FRIEND IS A GUY IN LOVE WITH HER.....UMM FYCK THAT ****.


.

THis may a HUGE problem and this says a lot about her and none of it is good. My guess is that she is trying to frame herself as a "prize" to be fought over. Typical chick MO.
Sane men do not get in triangles like this..

Interesting that you capitalized it for emphasis and then ignored it's significance (as did the other posters here)

NEXT !

 

[My Name is Nobody]

well

let me explain further.

multiple factors here...

I met the girl off myspace..........

first emails..then AIM...then AIM and text, and phone..it was all day..for 3 days....

there was big time build up to meeting her.....

so when i did..it was great....took 10 min for great rapport....flirting, hugging, holding hands and so on.

kissed a lot before I said bye..it was great..

a few more things:

1. this is my first expierence since Ive been single...
2. given the amount of time we talked...would we really be dating? would be go from talking all day pretty much to not talking inbetween dates?
3. HER BEST FRIEND IS A GUY IN LOVE WITH HER.....UMM FYCK THAT ****.

I did this to protect myself...I like the girl or liked....why get involved with all those factors against me...I thought I was being a good guy by letting her know...

I cant see any other choice....I want to be single...I want sex, I like intamicy...but if I really do date someone..and just one girl..she better be gods gift to me...

plus I am meeting another women sunday or monday from myspace...so man I wanna have fun..get in the game and when I it happens it does.

Not bad brother! Good luck to you, keep sarging.

 

[Ever onward]

yea you guys are right...I am trying to get back into this and there will be mistakes along the way.

Don't worry about it man. You're doing good getting back out there. Props!

Just don't analyze things too much. Have fun and don't take anything seriously until it's serious.

 

[Interceptor]

Be careful with that projection thing you did.

Do not project your neediness.
Do not prohject and assume automatically ANY relationship dynamice, be it FB status, LTR, ONS whatever.

Go out with a good woman, be a good man. And have the time of your life.

Don't waste time preoccupying yourself with details that don't need to be dealt with at this point in time.

"Look, I like you now,I want to be with you, I don't know what the future holds for us....but if I can be with you now..I will."



Life is good, Friv.

Life is good.

You don't know where you'll be in 20 years.

You also want to make sure you make yourself happy first.

This means do not project or assume things too early. This is miscalibration, and actually..fear.
Why fear?
because it is the feeling of lack of control, you recognize your lack of control of the details of this situation. So you attempt to assert control over something that needen't bother you.
If you have your Personal Boundary intact, and know when to say no, and how to handle hearing no, you will be OK.
What you did is the sign of a weak Personal Boundary.

Asserting control over something that is harmless.

I hope she took it well, and thought it was cute, because most women would automatically assume you lack confidence, were inexpereinced, and way too needy.


Go with the flow. Ride the Wave..

because any self limiting belief you have now, will compound itself over time.



And you don't know how badly you may end up, and how profoundly that one little belief will impact your life.

Practice good threat assessment skills.

 

[decades]

first emails..then AIM...then AIM and text, and phone..it was all day..for 3 days....


oooops. nowhere to go but DOWNhill...

 

[frivolousz21]

thanks for all the information guys..it has been a wealth of things to read.

 

[MacAvoy]

well today I like her...but I also do not want anything serious..so I called her and told her..and I cant really tell if she was happy about it or not..but said it was cool...

This was your biggest mistake. You only went on one date with her and by stating the above, you assumed that she wanted something serious. By doing so, it takes away from her wanting to tie you up for herself.

If you weren't that interested in her, you don't tell her. You just act accordingly.

But at least your back in the game. It will take time to shake off the cobwebs but you'll be as sharp as ever in no time at all.