"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Well, there's this girl...

MK1412

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Got your attention, didn't it? OF COURSE THERE'S THIS GIRL, this is a whole forum dedicated to the chasing of the fairer sex, ffs.

Anywho, before I tell you anything, you need to know that I am not an AFC, nor a DJ, I'm something in between. I consider myself a ladiesman, well, other people do, but that's not the point. The point is this girl, Denise.

See, a year and a half ago, I was facing a choice between her and my ex, and obviously, I chose my ex. Me and my ex broke up two months ago. Me and Denise began texting again three months ago.

Since that, we hooked up a few times, pretty much kissed every weekend and stuff like that. I fell for her very quickly. I don't love her, but I am very infatuated with her, I'll tell you that. I told her how I felt and what I wanted.

She has a problem though, she had to choose between me and this other guy, that is a TOTAL chump. He's a total drama queen, and he isn't more attractive than me, honestly. I was at a stump, but I endured.

And then I got friendzoned. I'll show you how it went later on in the text, just need to get something out first.

I am not giving up, I know my worth and I know what a chump I've been for this girl, but I am not giving up. I'm that far down, and I sort of like it.

What I will do though, is act like a man and get what I want like I used to do, not by being this emotional little prick. Anywho, here's how it went...
I'm sorry that you had to try so much, but could we just be friends? You mean too much to me for me to **** it up because of something that might or might not work. I don't want us to break apart after some time and not talk to each other. I couldn't bear that to happen because your opinion means a lot to me and I can talk to you about everything...And I can't go on like this, too many people, too much bull****, I wouldn't be surprised if I told everyone to **** off and start a new with somebody completely new.

Me:
Expected. Thanks for the nice friendzoning, sure, you did hurt me a bit, but I expected it, so it's okay, sort of. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to pry too much, but you have to tell me something. Are you friendzoning me because of the reasons you just said or is it because you don't see me as anything more than a friend?

Her:

Because of the reasons I said. And because I realized that it doesn't bother me that you're a ladiesman and hookup with girls and then tell me about it, if I had some really deep emotions for you, it'd bother me, right? We could be a good couple, I know that, but, ****, our timing is off by a year and a half.

Me:
Keh, I know that. I wouldn't bother trying, still, don't worry. How sure are you about this and that this is the end of this all?

Her:

I'm sure

Me:

Oof, without hesistation, painful. I'm not sure about that, though. Yes, I do have feelings for you, you don't have any for me, apparently. But, you can't deny that there is SOMETHING on your side, you know that. Don't worry, this isn't the 'please reconsider' speach, I'm not a chum. I'm just saying that just because right now, you don't think of me like that, you won't in the future. Think about that, I know you've been thinking a lot lately, but a bit more wouldn't hurt.

Her:
Haha, you know that I can't stop thinking about it, about you, Mateo and everything that goes with it. I really wish I was asexual sometimes...

Me:

Anywho, I knew this was coming since saturday. The problem at hand are my feelings, I can't change them or control them. BUT! There is a positive side!

The positive side is...I don't quit easy, and I don't plan on quitting on you. Don't get scared though, I know when to stop being clingy. Now, I don't mean to end our 'friendship', but I'll keep hitting on you, you can ignore that or succumb to my devilish chrm, however you want, but don't look at me like I'm your 'problem.'

Her:

Don't worry, I won't look at you like one.

Me:

So it's not a problem if I keep hitting on you, without the earlier goal of you being my gf in mind?

Her:

Nah. I know you'll continue, it's part of your charm, I guess, haha
Thoughts and help would be appreciated.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Is this your first rodeo? Why do you keep asking her questions after she admits to friend zoning you? Do you understand how the friend zone works?

She isn't interested, it's over. And you made yourself look like a fool in those texts.

Maybe next time, instead of just kissing her, get under her clothes and escalate.
 

MK1412

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Look, no, this is not my first rodeo, and yes I do know how the friend zone works.

I know I've been a fool up till now, that's why I'm here. And we did escalate several times.
 

LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Here's how to get what you want:

Look for a new girl. Make a move. Be less invested than she is.

If you can have multiple girls going at once, it'll help reduce your investment in any one of them.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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