well she met up with me but now she's cancelled for tonight..

[pete101]

this same chick i've been seeing in my other thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154403

well on the 4th attempt we finally met up.. she was this close to being nexted cos i had enough and i was gona go into the date telling her what was and not acceptable in my books.

we had a good date, action date so not much talking. as it got to the end of the night she was looking to take a cab home as she didn't want to put out cos she did too much on the 1st date. but there was a lot of back and forth where she said i didn't call the next day like i said i would (i did) and that i was late today so that cancels out whatever she did.. i kept saying well u cancelled 3 times. i knew it could spiral out of control so i changed subject but what i should have done was told her that she cant keep taking me and my time for granted and that she def has no more cancellations. i was wary that she wasn't ready to put out completely yet so may be testing me.

i talked her around and made the arrangement that we'd be fvcking tonight at hers.. i made her promise she wouldn't cancel.. and surpirse surprise she cancelled.

the issue is that when i left hers yesterday driving back she called me and thanked me for taking her home i was sounding nervous cos i was distracted by driving and wanted to get her off the phone asap.. she might have thought that she left me all horny and i was off to see another girl who would put out. who knows.

anyway she cancels on me today with a 'hey im afraid i cant make it tonight. sorry. i'll call u later to explain. '

now this was the final straw for me.. i already broke my rule of 3 strikes and i told her this after the 2nd cancellation last week yet i gave her special dispensation and we met yesterday. i gave away too much power and she's abusing it.

 

[pete101]

now i was furious cos her text above is evasive cos whatever reason it could be she could have included it in the text as she has done previously which tells me she doesn't have a good reason so purposely didnt explain. i tried calling her after i got it.. knowing full well she wouldn't pick up to be evasive.

she didn't. so i thought ok this is it i need to let her know that it's pretty much over. i texted 'i already said you've used up all your cancellations so u cant do this anymore.. before u left i told unot to cancel and u promised me u wouldnt. i cant take what u say seriously. when u called to thank me yesterday i was driving and was distracted so i couldn't talk. i dont accept this behaviour from anyone so unless you're going to seroiusly make it up to me then its over.'

am i overreacting?

the thing is if she shows up for a date do the cancellations roll back that she's allowed another one?

cos in my eyes i've already given her 3. i didn't establish that yesterday that this is not on.. i should have taken her to one side and said to her calmly that 'look this is not acceptable anymore ok, im not kidding' and by not doing that she's abusing my position cos she knows shes my only source of sex right now despite her being all over me too.

do u think she may be getting cold feet of putting out? cos she keeps cancelling and everytime it's cos we're suppose to have sex.. a date flake is same as a sex flake right?

after sending what i said above i cant contact her now.. i've made it clear that it's over if she doesn't make it up to me.. although it isn't as strong as 'it's over' outright.. could she just be testing me to see how committed i am and not just going to fvck her and not call her again?

if she's worried i'm going to do that to her does this explain her constant sex flaking?

and how should i play this? she should get back to me but if it's for the above reason then by me not contacting her ever again she'll think i was only after one thing..

 

[MisterMcGee]

Just be a little colder and not intimate with her, she'll get the message that you feel she doesn't respect you. No need to spell it out for her.

 

[Metacomet]

Wow man... I have said 'it's over' with girls who disappoint before,

but not like that...

sending her a txt explaining she did all the wrong things and that you're 'not going to accept that from anyone' might make you feel dominant or whatever but all it says to her is 'boohoo you wouldn't **** me, you promised'.

Verrrryyy frustrated and chumpish activity if you ask me.

Isn't IGNORING the most obvious thing to do? Just ignore them. If they stop replying or don't keep their word - forget they exists. Trust me, they notice it... and they even come back for a second chance.

However with this case you've totally destroyed any second chance scenario and all of your value is now in the gutter :nono:

 

[slaog]

Pete just ignore her. She's a low quality woman and doesn't deserve anybody because she has no manners at all. Most novices on sosuave would have ditched her by now.


She's playing you like a fool at the moment. You knew this after the second cancellation but wouldn't admit it to yourself. Never let anybody treat you like she is doing.


Best thing you can do now is to ignore her. Be nice (which tells her she's no great loss) to her but tell her you're not interested.


You can do much better but not if you have that lower value mindset. Learn your lessons and move on. Rejection can be good in the long run if you learn from the experiance.

 

[pete101]

the thing is is date flaking different from sex flaking?

if she's not ready to have sex and i'm being too pushy and thinks im only after one thing is this why she's canelling again and again?

3 out of our 4 arranged meetings have all been to meet up for sex and i just realised now it looks like im only after one thing so maybe shes thought that all along. do u still treat her in the same way as a flake does?

 

[Metacomet]

If she knows you're only after sex and she has flaked on you she is playing you... and you know it.

You've already seen the worst of it by texting her that nonsense. Just shake it off and find a new target. There is def. no salvaging a situation like you're describing.

The poor girl probably wants to be left alone... think about that. How's that make you feel? Kinda douchey right? So just leave her alone!

 

[pete101]

she doesn't know.. it's what she thinks.. she must want to turn it into a proper dating thing and doesn't seem to understand to offer another time/date plans.

me saying what i said could be misconstrued as if she doesn't fvck me then it's over.. that isn't what i meant it to be but i guess it could look that way.

what im asking is why the hell is she cancelling today? i just dont understand her. she was all over me yesterday.

 

[Snowman23]

This site is partially to blame for his response. I see it a lot around here. People ingrain in others that you have to be a hardass to get girls. This is what happens when you try to teach nerds to pick up women.

Making her promise she won't cancel? That's pathetic dude.

Anytime a girl cancels, say "That's cool." If it's a legit reason, and she likes you, she'll re-schedule.

 

[nismo-4]

I woulda long ditched her. If she don't initiate, you'll have to go searching again.

 

[pete101]

the thing is i suspected she might think i was only after one thing so i proceeded to text her later with a p.s. explaining i wasn't.. but i guess it doesn't matter.

this really frustrates me cos with a simple phone call IF she actually picked up you'd easily be able to talk them around but they just won't pick up your call.. i've had this prob before.

i tried calling today and just left a voicemail explaining my confusion.. i think the problem is that with so much contact it just works against me and i might look like a psycho. she's already made her mind up.. i guess there's nothing i can do or say that will change that right?

even if i try once more later in the week explaining as much as i can to her voicemail that wont make a difference?

does leaving it for a while really help heal this situation?

 

[DJVladdy]

Tariq Nasheed's 3 strike rule?
good sh1t

But why are you doubting so much and hypothesizing, making it all scientific?

 

[pete101]

because im confused as to how to apply some of these rules and theories. for instance i understand with the 3 strike rule if she cancels on u 3 times it's over. next. problem is we're assuming these are date flakes rather than sex flakes.

if she's wary you're only after 1 thing by you being pushy telling her it's over if she doesn't seriously make it up to you signals to her that 'if u dont sleep with me then its over' my text wasn't suppose to interpreted that way it was suppose to be her offering me alternative date plans. but i got lost in the moment and was infuriated i took a flake as flake no matter the reason.

understandably she was not ready yet so cancelled.. but i gave away too much power when she called to cancel the 3rd time pleading for me to make it up to me.. i AFC'd and accepted it. now subconsciously she's playing me for a fool cos she knows she can have me anytime she wants.

now with the text i sent above which pretty much has ruined everything cos she's not taking my calls i cant figure out what to do.

in these scenarios even after a week or two she's not going to come to her senses and start to miss being out with u if she had such high interest on dates right?

i reckon she just thinks i'm a psycho now and cos we not known each other long no matter how much interest she had she's not going to remember that unless something happens in her life where she feels lonley and desperate like xmas is coming up and needs someone.

what im saying is should i treat her flaking for sex the same as her flaking for a date?

 

[pete101]

is there no way of salvaging this?

what frustrates me is she had such high interest level it was ridiculous and i know if everything went to plan i'd have regular sex and little cost to me.. but her incessant flaking puzzles me.

is she just going to view me as that annoying psycho if i try to contact her again? i know time is a healer but i duno if it would work in this scenario despite her high interest prior.

p.s. i didn't make her promise.. i told her 'dont cancel again...' she said 'i promise' i didn't actually say 'promise u wont cancel?'

p.p.s espi how does that work if i call her saying im so sorry i missed our date yesterday if she sent me the text/message to cancel?

she'll be like 'huh i left u a voicemail/text cancelling?' you cant deny u didn't get it.. it just looks fake.