"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Well, it's official....
- Thread starter ItsOnNow
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Yeah. I know. I have also started to realize the importance of "first impressions". I.E the 3 second rule, the whole approaching,engaging,listen, thing. I mean, these are the basics. These are the basics as to well, survival. It seems though, the guy who "has it all" has more of an advantage, right? I mean, all this time, I have not been out there, it seems like this far off unatainable thing. I was reading this, http://www.sosuave.com/rondavid/succeed52.htm, and made me think about some of the stuff I have previously believed. First thing wrong is my mindset, I mean, I wake up and go to sleep every day feeling ****ty. I mean, it always seemed to me, it was just supposed to happen, you either had it or not. Well, when you dont have it, what do you do? I dont know if its my own fault, or no one taught me, but I was never one to take lead,take control. Or my skills in that area are weak. I mean, I have felt like something is wrong with me, possibly with past actions with people.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You're worrying far too much!! Ever try meditation? Just 15 min a day will make you feel better. I just started it myself.
If you keep holding negative thoughts about yourself then nothing will ever change for you. You see things in a negative way and really make a big deal about things.
Just accept your situation as it is. Thats the first step to changing your thoughts. Accept it, allow it, be ok with it.
Now I'm not saying don't aim for something better but if all you can think about is how bad your situation is then you can't be thinking about anything good.
Try seeing things in a lighter way and start being grateful for everything good in your life.
If you keep holding negative thoughts about yourself then nothing will ever change for you. You see things in a negative way and really make a big deal about things.
Just accept your situation as it is. Thats the first step to changing your thoughts. Accept it, allow it, be ok with it.
Now I'm not saying don't aim for something better but if all you can think about is how bad your situation is then you can't be thinking about anything good.
Try seeing things in a lighter way and start being grateful for everything good in your life.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
Im gonna write you a goal. Stay off sosuave for a week and the computer as a matter of fact. Go out and meet girls. Do something active in your time and report back.
Well, thats it. I think I am addicted to this site and the internet. Its an escape for me to try and take my mind off of things. I could have taken the step so long ago, and been so far ahead. I was watching dr.phil tonight, it was the episode with the "serial seducer" who had been with 132 women. Harvard educated,smart, charming, money, talk about history, politics,etc. Impressive. Although he did have his quirks. He talked about the basics like on this site and every other seduction site. Man I wish I could be this guy.
I try to be grateful, but I want more. I want a complete change. I want to be this ultimate. Thats what I have hoped for.
I try to be grateful, but I want more. I want a complete change. I want to be this ultimate. Thats what I have hoped for.
ItsOnNow, if you think about it, you would agree with me when I say: you're wasting time!
Think about it, you've spent months whining, complaining, feeling bad about yourself, etc. etc. In that same time I spent it working on myself, achieving my goals, and improving as a person.
Is this the life you want to keep living?
Insetad of wasting time, you should apply it in other areas! You need more time for everything!
I tought you would have managed this so far, and I really hope you do. Other then it's annoying to read your stupid ass threads! there isn't a real reason why you shouldn't be out there living life. Why do you have to sit in your computer like everyone else?
I completley agree with I.A.F.Y.B. advice. I'm sure that if you followed it, it would do wonders. 1 week, no pc. What are you waiting for? Leave the depressed looser part of you stay in the past, and make a new YOU to live in the present!
People of SS would thank you for it, and you would love yourself for it!
Think about it, you've spent months whining, complaining, feeling bad about yourself, etc. etc. In that same time I spent it working on myself, achieving my goals, and improving as a person.
Is this the life you want to keep living?
Insetad of wasting time, you should apply it in other areas! You need more time for everything!
I tought you would have managed this so far, and I really hope you do. Other then it's annoying to read your stupid ass threads! there isn't a real reason why you shouldn't be out there living life. Why do you have to sit in your computer like everyone else?
I completley agree with I.A.F.Y.B. advice. I'm sure that if you followed it, it would do wonders. 1 week, no pc. What are you waiting for? Leave the depressed looser part of you stay in the past, and make a new YOU to live in the present!
People of SS would thank you for it, and you would love yourself for it!"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
dannyegg4575
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 311
- Reaction score
- 11
ION,
I have seen you post threads after threads of negativity with little contributions for the past few months. I normally do not bash people but if it is what I have to do to wake and shake you up, I will.
Many great guys in here have written you to shake up and get out of the house, yet, you insist on coming back here to tell us how miserable your life is. The fact that you're doing this, makes you so much more of a biatch and a AW.
Reality is cruel and so is life. if you are going to be acting like this for the rest of your life, even if GOD takes pity on you and give you a gf, do you think you're going to be man enough to look after her for the rest of your life? Or do you feel that being a p>ssy would win her over? Do you think you can sit on your ass in front of the computer going to win the lady of your dreams? Better yet, are you going to join one of those sites from your email spam lists?
Get a life! the world is spinning faster and faster as you witness before your very eyes life passing you by.
You say you stay home because of boredom, well, staying home is fine as long as you're making your time useful. Pick up a book to read, build momentum, do something, anything but rot in self pity.
I'm not your dad, and I'm not pretending to be. You already have one. Look how hard it is for him to put food on your table. Think of the hard work he's put into you. How much are you repaying him? You feel that it's your birthright to sit and biatch? You're still so young, what the hell?!!!
Think of the years that passed you by, how much have you accomplished? What have you done for yourself exactly?
Nobody's stopping you from anything but you. You set yourself up to be miserable. Nobody did anything to you. You're a healthy and normal kid just like anyone else. WHY are you wasting it on frivolous endeavors?
Have you ever done any charity work? Have you ever volunteered in any orphanage with handicap children? BETTER YET, have you ever step foot or walk up to a kid in wheelchair?!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?! Do you have any idea what these kids would do to have one day in your shoes? Be able to run, laugh, sing, listen, be with family? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA, what it would feel like to be like them?
So, tell me ION, compare your life to these kids, (I know I shouldn't be using other people's misfortune but I'm trying to get you to THINK), how miserable is your life? HOW F>CKING miserable is your life?!
Now, if you're going to tell me that it's worst than them, then there's nothing more ANY of us here CAN and WILL do for you. You're obviously not very healthy.
I have seen you post threads after threads of negativity with little contributions for the past few months. I normally do not bash people but if it is what I have to do to wake and shake you up, I will.
Many great guys in here have written you to shake up and get out of the house, yet, you insist on coming back here to tell us how miserable your life is. The fact that you're doing this, makes you so much more of a biatch and a AW.
Reality is cruel and so is life. if you are going to be acting like this for the rest of your life, even if GOD takes pity on you and give you a gf, do you think you're going to be man enough to look after her for the rest of your life? Or do you feel that being a p>ssy would win her over? Do you think you can sit on your ass in front of the computer going to win the lady of your dreams? Better yet, are you going to join one of those sites from your email spam lists?
Get a life! the world is spinning faster and faster as you witness before your very eyes life passing you by.
You say you stay home because of boredom, well, staying home is fine as long as you're making your time useful. Pick up a book to read, build momentum, do something, anything but rot in self pity.
I'm not your dad, and I'm not pretending to be. You already have one. Look how hard it is for him to put food on your table. Think of the hard work he's put into you. How much are you repaying him? You feel that it's your birthright to sit and biatch? You're still so young, what the hell?!!!
Think of the years that passed you by, how much have you accomplished? What have you done for yourself exactly?
Nobody's stopping you from anything but you. You set yourself up to be miserable. Nobody did anything to you. You're a healthy and normal kid just like anyone else. WHY are you wasting it on frivolous endeavors?
Have you ever done any charity work? Have you ever volunteered in any orphanage with handicap children? BETTER YET, have you ever step foot or walk up to a kid in wheelchair?!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?! Do you have any idea what these kids would do to have one day in your shoes? Be able to run, laugh, sing, listen, be with family? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA, what it would feel like to be like them?
So, tell me ION, compare your life to these kids, (I know I shouldn't be using other people's misfortune but I'm trying to get you to THINK), how miserable is your life? HOW F>CKING miserable is your life?!
Now, if you're going to tell me that it's worst than them, then there's nothing more ANY of us here CAN and WILL do for you. You're obviously not very healthy.
You're right. I realized I have been on here for attention, and trying to find a way out. It feels as if I can only see in one direction. I am too used to feeling this way, and havent been able to see any other way. Yet I see everyone else moving ahead and I always feel stuck. I always think about taking action, yet never do. That is what is blocking me. I havent been improving myself, and it feels like I cant. I dont know why I feel this way. But its eclipsed me in my thinking.
About being man enough, see, thats what I dont know about. I think I know, but i dont fully know. That is a part thats missing from me. I may be young, but i dont feel young, i dont feel alive, like im not living,like time has passed me by.
As for accomplishments, nothing. I feel like I have accomplished nothing. This is killing me. This is due mostly to not having been in school on a normal basis.
Nobody did anything to me? Well, I am not going to get into it now, but some bad things have happened to me. People have done things to me when I thought I could trust them. This has caused me to go into a shell.
No. I havent done charity/volunteer work, thought about it, but didnt take the advice.I am not going to say I have it worse than them, thats not what i am saying. I am saying I have my own major struggles that I havent gotten over.I just cant let this negative part go. It has been with me too long and this emotinal drainage is killing me. One thing killing me is this lack of experience, whether its embarrasment, or insecurity,or fear, i dont know, but this lack of effort is whats making me behind. I see all these people with someone, that they have been with for months or years, and i am always alone. Why? Whats wrong with me?Thats all I can say for now.
About being man enough, see, thats what I dont know about. I think I know, but i dont fully know. That is a part thats missing from me. I may be young, but i dont feel young, i dont feel alive, like im not living,like time has passed me by.
As for accomplishments, nothing. I feel like I have accomplished nothing. This is killing me. This is due mostly to not having been in school on a normal basis.
Nobody did anything to me? Well, I am not going to get into it now, but some bad things have happened to me. People have done things to me when I thought I could trust them. This has caused me to go into a shell.
No. I havent done charity/volunteer work, thought about it, but didnt take the advice.I am not going to say I have it worse than them, thats not what i am saying. I am saying I have my own major struggles that I havent gotten over.I just cant let this negative part go. It has been with me too long and this emotinal drainage is killing me. One thing killing me is this lack of experience, whether its embarrasment, or insecurity,or fear, i dont know, but this lack of effort is whats making me behind. I see all these people with someone, that they have been with for months or years, and i am always alone. Why? Whats wrong with me?Thats all I can say for now.
You're a good example of the law of attraction at work. Believing is seeing not the other way around. You're negative thoughts is bringing you a negative life and it's a vicious circle to get out of.ItsOnNow said:
The emotional drainage you're talking about is you blocking out goodness with your negative thoughts. A way around this is to meditate for 15 min a day. Do it right and you'll feel better after doing it because meditation is basically stopped thinking. Check out this Eckhart Tolle video on youtube.
If you want to change your routine then set goals for yourself. Start off with small goals like go for 30 min walk instead of being on computer and set bigger goals after. Make sure to write them down every night and keep looking at them. This is to keep them in your mind and you're mind will begin to focus on them and you'll feel good doing them.
The goal thing I have made goals, rather, big, long term ones. As in going to school, getting an education, and of course, getting married and starting a family. It is hard for me to focus on the goals you suggested cause my routine for quite some time now has been, work, school, when I was in school, and then home. Maybe occasionally going out every once in a while.
The blocking out goodness thing. Yeah. I think I do have a negative reaction to general happiness and positivity, esp when its coming from other people. In some ways, I just dont give a **** about some things.
I will def try the small goals thing.
The blocking out goodness thing. Yeah. I think I do have a negative reaction to general happiness and positivity, esp when its coming from other people. In some ways, I just dont give a **** about some things.
I will def try the small goals thing.
dannyegg4575
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 311
- Reaction score
- 11
Define the definition of MAN to me. What constitutes a man? read my sig, who gives a f>ck?!
Dude, this is your reality. None of us here can tell you how to live. Why are you so caught up in definition or what someone tell you to do or be? You had so many posts asking on how to be a man. I think that it's dumb if you don't know what your gender is. Look at all your guy friends. YOU DO have guy friends right? Even one? Being a man is simply being yourself. That's all it is. NOT PUTTING women on pedestals. NOT SUPPLICATING. Just doing things for you and loving yourself. Taking full responsibility for your own life.
Quit sitting around, moaning like a biatch and hoping that mommy will come pick you up.
Why aren't you in school on a normal basis? instead of staying at home, what have you done for yourself?
i don't care what anyone did to you. They have no power on your mindset. My old "best buddy" scammed me of $200000. My old colleague/friend "used" me to get ahead at work. you want to hear more? I had to take constant biatching from my supervisors and bosses. I was beaten up for no reason at all when I was 12 walking home from school. I never once told anybody. SO CRY ME A BLOODY RIVER!
DO YOU THINK, even for a second I feel life treats me unfairly? NO! so save me the bullsh>t and get your act together. In this life, you're either going to sit on the street and do nothing with your life or you're going to accomplish something that is worthwhile. do you want to leave a mark when you die? or would you rather just sit on the street and waste your life away. go ahead, go to the poverty area of your city. Smell the urine on the walls. smell the alcohol on the body of people who numbed themselves with cocaine and cheap alcohol. See the diseases on the hands and faces of people living there while you're at it. That is where you can be if you don't do something with your life.
start with small goals. watch how your small goals will create wonders. watch the momentum once you start accomplishing these small goals. Build on the enthusiasms and see how much your confidence will grow. Because once your confidence grows, you'll grow. you'll look back at all this and you'll wonder why you wasted so much time in self pity. it's really that simple. And when you have reach a stage of confidence, you'll want to help other people out who'd been in your shoes. that's when i can welcome you to the age of maturity.
so, don't care about what anyone else says. Care about what you're going to do with your life. Don't try to look too hard, it'll find you. Build it one small step at a time and build that confidence within you.
you said you feel that life is passing you by. well, come on, get going. what are you waiting for?
Dude, this is your reality. None of us here can tell you how to live. Why are you so caught up in definition or what someone tell you to do or be? You had so many posts asking on how to be a man. I think that it's dumb if you don't know what your gender is. Look at all your guy friends. YOU DO have guy friends right? Even one? Being a man is simply being yourself. That's all it is. NOT PUTTING women on pedestals. NOT SUPPLICATING. Just doing things for you and loving yourself. Taking full responsibility for your own life.
Quit sitting around, moaning like a biatch and hoping that mommy will come pick you up.
Why aren't you in school on a normal basis? instead of staying at home, what have you done for yourself?
i don't care what anyone did to you. They have no power on your mindset. My old "best buddy" scammed me of $200000. My old colleague/friend "used" me to get ahead at work. you want to hear more? I had to take constant biatching from my supervisors and bosses. I was beaten up for no reason at all when I was 12 walking home from school. I never once told anybody. SO CRY ME A BLOODY RIVER!
DO YOU THINK, even for a second I feel life treats me unfairly? NO! so save me the bullsh>t and get your act together. In this life, you're either going to sit on the street and do nothing with your life or you're going to accomplish something that is worthwhile. do you want to leave a mark when you die? or would you rather just sit on the street and waste your life away. go ahead, go to the poverty area of your city. Smell the urine on the walls. smell the alcohol on the body of people who numbed themselves with cocaine and cheap alcohol. See the diseases on the hands and faces of people living there while you're at it. That is where you can be if you don't do something with your life.
start with small goals. watch how your small goals will create wonders. watch the momentum once you start accomplishing these small goals. Build on the enthusiasms and see how much your confidence will grow. Because once your confidence grows, you'll grow. you'll look back at all this and you'll wonder why you wasted so much time in self pity. it's really that simple. And when you have reach a stage of confidence, you'll want to help other people out who'd been in your shoes. that's when i can welcome you to the age of maturity.
so, don't care about what anyone else says. Care about what you're going to do with your life. Don't try to look too hard, it'll find you. Build it one small step at a time and build that confidence within you.
you said you feel that life is passing you by. well, come on, get going. what are you waiting for?
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
this is a very good post and thank you all for contributing especially dannyegg...
this is what i've learned from here :
1. accepting yourself for who you are and appreciate what you have.
2. setting small goals is a must to take your mind off negative thoughts..
3. take control of your life and do what you want.
i want to add something i learned very useful and might solve your problem with people ION, its "when you do good to people, you shall recieve good in the end" . Always stick to this principal and you shall have no problem with your life. Apply it. Like smiling to people you meet is doing good to people, you may or may not recieve a smile back and it doesnt matter because you'll feel good after doing this.
Another thing, make friends with positive people and YOU WILL BE positive because you have to be positive even if you dont feel like it or else they wont want to be with you. Its a good training for me personally doing this.
To conclude, people want to help you if you are willing to change for the better.
Quoting from my favourite song, Ghetto Gospel by Tupac feat. Elton John,
"Those who wish to follow me...i welcome with my hands..."
This shows that there are people who are willing to help you...all you need to do is speak up!
Having negative thoughts? f*ck it and be positive. Only you can change your
life...Start telling yourself you want to change and go out there and enjoy life...make positive friends...you will get the life you want eventually...
Cheers!
this is what i've learned from here :
1. accepting yourself for who you are and appreciate what you have.
2. setting small goals is a must to take your mind off negative thoughts..
3. take control of your life and do what you want.
i want to add something i learned very useful and might solve your problem with people ION, its "when you do good to people, you shall recieve good in the end" . Always stick to this principal and you shall have no problem with your life. Apply it. Like smiling to people you meet is doing good to people, you may or may not recieve a smile back and it doesnt matter because you'll feel good after doing this.
Another thing, make friends with positive people and YOU WILL BE positive because you have to be positive even if you dont feel like it or else they wont want to be with you. Its a good training for me personally doing this.
To conclude, people want to help you if you are willing to change for the better.
Quoting from my favourite song, Ghetto Gospel by Tupac feat. Elton John,
"Those who wish to follow me...i welcome with my hands..."
This shows that there are people who are willing to help you...all you need to do is speak up!
Having negative thoughts? f*ck it and be positive. Only you can change your
life...Start telling yourself you want to change and go out there and enjoy life...make positive friends...you will get the life you want eventually...
Cheers!
this is a very good post and thank you all for contributing especially dannyegg...
this is what i've learned from here :
1. accepting yourself for who you are and appreciate what you have.
2. setting small goals is a must to start your new and exciting life.
3. take control of your life and do what you want. No one can tell you what to do mate.
i want to share something i learned very useful from my mentor and might solve your problem with people ION,
its "when you do good to people, you shall recieve good in the end" .
Always stick to this principal and you shall have no problem with your life.
Apply it now.You may not get the rewards back from the same people but from different people and different situations. This quote is recommended in many religions including Islam. Like smiling to people you meet is doing good to people, you may or may not recieve a smile back and it doesnt matter because you'll feel good after doing this.
Another thing, make friends with positive people and YOU WILL BE positive because you have to be positive even if you dont feel like it or else they wont want to be with you. Its a good training for me personally doing this.
People want to help you if you are willing to change for the better. In the religion Islam, there is a quote that has a similar meaning to this, it says "god will not change someone unless they change themselves". Remember that only you can change yourself and nobody else.
Quoting from my favourite song(a meaningful song), Ghetto Gospel by Tupac feat. Elton John,
"Those who wish to follow me...i welcome with my hands..."
This shows that there are people who are willing to help you...all you need to do is speak up!
Having negative thoughts? f*ck it and be positive. Only you can change your
life...Start telling yourself you want to change and go out there and enjoy life...be positive and make positive friends...you will get the life you want eventually...
Cheers!
this is what i've learned from here :
1. accepting yourself for who you are and appreciate what you have.
2. setting small goals is a must to start your new and exciting life.
3. take control of your life and do what you want. No one can tell you what to do mate.
i want to share something i learned very useful from my mentor and might solve your problem with people ION,
its "when you do good to people, you shall recieve good in the end" .
Always stick to this principal and you shall have no problem with your life.
Apply it now.You may not get the rewards back from the same people but from different people and different situations. This quote is recommended in many religions including Islam. Like smiling to people you meet is doing good to people, you may or may not recieve a smile back and it doesnt matter because you'll feel good after doing this.
Another thing, make friends with positive people and YOU WILL BE positive because you have to be positive even if you dont feel like it or else they wont want to be with you. Its a good training for me personally doing this.
People want to help you if you are willing to change for the better. In the religion Islam, there is a quote that has a similar meaning to this, it says "god will not change someone unless they change themselves". Remember that only you can change yourself and nobody else.
Quoting from my favourite song(a meaningful song), Ghetto Gospel by Tupac feat. Elton John,
"Those who wish to follow me...i welcome with my hands..."
This shows that there are people who are willing to help you...all you need to do is speak up!
Having negative thoughts? f*ck it and be positive. Only you can change your
life...Start telling yourself you want to change and go out there and enjoy life...be positive and make positive friends...you will get the life you want eventually...
Cheers!
[S]alvatore
Master Don Juan
You need to accept that everything you want will not come at once. You just have to keep chipping away at your stone (which resembles your life), bit by bit.......It will take a long time, but you have to keep at it. If you quit, you deserve to be in your predicament.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.