"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Well, I fvcked up...

The Master Disaster

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So I met with this girl that I've been meeting for a couple weeks for a class.

We worked on this project, and when we decided it was over she wanted me to help her with this article (I am one of the editors at the school's newspaper).

Couple minutes went by, and she asked me advice about this dude who keeps asking her out. She doesn't like him or attracted to him, but she feels sorry for him and wanted me to help her figure out a way to turn him down. She kept saying that she didn't have a boyfriend, and everyone knew. "I was like how do they know?"

She replied like, "They just know." Sounds fishy... After awhile, she said, "Maybe, I'll just say I like this other guy, and it wouldn't be fair for either of us." She got really, really nervous when she said this. I smirked on the inside because she avoided eye contact. I some how think... she was talking about me.

My god, I'm an idiot. I didn't know how to slide it in that I wanted to ask her out. I should been like, "I got an idear. Let's go out," but no I just made bunch load of jokes.

What was funny is I mentioned something about a girl, and she got all serious. She looked a lil' jealous, but I didn't draw it out or anything. I just mentioned it.

Neways, I kind of convinced her to go to this workshop on Saturday. I asked her if she was going she said no. I told her I had to go (because i'm an editor), and she was like, "You know what I'll try to make it. I have a party, but if I can I'll go." Maybe I didn't convince her.

God, I hope she goes. I'm gonna ask her if she wants to get some lunch after the workshop if she goes.

I feel so damn dumb. I can't believe I didn't capitalize on it. It was such a gimme.

If she doesn't go, next time we mee I'm gonna ask her if she wants to grab something after. If I don't act now... I'm gonna miss my chance.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Darth

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Ahhhh....the sweet taste of missed opportunities.

Welcome to the story of my life...
 

The Master Disaster

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Darth said:
Ahhhh....the sweet taste of missed opportunities.

Welcome to the story of my life...
Haha, I'm in the same boat, but mine was just fvking blatant. I hope she comes tomorrow because there is no way I'm going to fvck up twice.

What makes it suck even more is she is a HB9, and she's pouring everything in her to get me to ask her out, and I didn't... jesus.
 

MisterMcGee

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What was so 'blatant'? :p curious

I hate when they're not blatant, cause Occam's razor works against you. Meaning, sure she could be doing these signals because she likes you, or because she's just telling you stuff.

Me, HB, and another guy were watching a bit of Zack&Miri (we work at a movie theatre). I said to the guy who was beside me, "Elizabeth Banks is So gorgeous."
HB turned back immediately and looked at me, I just kept watching the movie.

Occam's Razor (simplest answer = right answer) tells me that HB simply looked at me only because 'she heard me say something'.
 

Igetit!

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So when this girl said that she might tell the guy who keeps asking her out that she already likes another guy,you thought that she might be talking about you? What makes you think that? Where did you get that from?
I don't think this girl's interested in you. For one,she was talking to you about another guy. Normally,girls don't do that with guys they're interested in,they do that with thier girlfriends. Also,have you seen any possible IOIs?

You said that you have known this girl for a couple of weeks,right? Look like another case of the friendzone to me,but hey,I might be wrong.

You said that you plan on asking her out to lunch. That would be a good idea,if you hadn't waited so long. If you had ask her out within the first 2 or 3days of knowing her,you'd be in a better position.

Go ahead and ask her out if you want,and let us know what happens.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Master Disaster

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Igetit! said:
So when this girl said that she might tell the guy who keeps asking her out that she already likes another guy,you thought that she might be talking about you? What makes you think that? Where did you get that from?
I don't think this girl's interested in you. For one,she was talking to you about another guy. Normally,girls don't do that with guys they're interested in,they do that with thier girlfriends. Also,have you seen any possible IOIs?

You said that you have known this girl for a couple of weeks,right? Look like another case of the friendzone to me,but hey,I might be wrong.

You said that you plan on asking her out to lunch. That would be a good idea,if you hadn't waited so long. If you had ask her out within the first 2 or 3days of knowing her,you'd be in a better position.

Go ahead and ask her out if you want,and let us know what happens.
The only guy she talked to me about was the guy she didn't like. The guy she wanted me to help her come up with a way to let him down easy.

This may of been the confusing part. I apologize, before she said that she said, "Maybe, I'll just lie." She took a long pause, and said, "I'll tell him (pause) there is this guy I am interested in and it wouldn't be fair for you."

That's what she said. She got really, really nervous when she said that and avoided all eye contact until I said something.

I kind of think she brought that up to bring to my attention that she didn't have a boyfriend. She got flustered when I asked her how everyone knew she didn't have a boyfriend and gave me a b.s. answer. I just joked around with her, but by no means did we talk about a guy she likes. We did however talk about a guy she wanted a reason not to go out with. It feel like she was trying to lure me into asking her out, and I don't know why I didn't.

Anyways, I missed my opportunity. I didn't really ruin my chances with her. We still had a great time, but I didn't capitalize, and I really need to very, very soon otherwise something will come up or she will switch focus.

I know she likes me, but I agree I should of asked her out earlier. I gotta do something next time I see her.
 

MisterMcGee

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"That's what she said. She got really, really nervous when she said that and avoided all eye contact until I said something."
;)
This girl I'm into at work (previously spoken about, look above) hates the highschool she goes to. I told the other guy we were with that "you're safe cause you don't go to her highschool, but as for me..."
And then she said "yeah you used to go there, so (quiet, shy, no eye contact, losing emphasis as if she's realizing what she's saying) I don't like you."
 

Jaggs

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If ANY chick said that,even one I have talked to for 5 seconds, I would insist that the other guy they like is me.
 

DonJuan11

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The Master Disaster said:
Couple minutes went by, and she asked me advice about this dude who keeps asking her out. She doesn't like him or attracted to him, but she feels sorry for him and wanted me to help her figure out a way to turn him down. She kept saying that she didn't have a boyfriend, and everyone knew. "I was like how do they know?"

She replied like, "They just know." Sounds fishy... After awhile, she said, "Maybe, I'll just say I like this other guy, and it wouldn't be fair for either of us." She got really, really nervous when she said this. I smirked on the inside because she avoided eye contact. I some how think... she was talking about me.

My god, I'm an idiot. I didn't know how to slide it in that I wanted to ask her out. I should been like, "I got an idear. Let's go out," but no I just made bunch load of jokes.

What was funny is I mentioned something about a girl, and she got all serious. She looked a lil' jealous, but I didn't draw it out or anything. I just mentioned it.

Neways, I kind of convinced her to go to this workshop on Saturday. I asked her if she was going she said no. I told her I had to go (because i'm an editor), and she was like, "You know what I'll try to make it. I have a party, but if I can I'll go." Maybe I didn't convince her.

God, I hope she goes. I'm gonna ask her if she wants to get some lunch after the workshop if she goes.

I feel so damn dumb. I can't believe I didn't capitalize on it. It was such a gimme.

If she doesn't go, next time we mee I'm gonna ask her if she wants to grab something after. If I don't act now... I'm gonna miss my chance.
What's the question?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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JohnChap

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listening to your guys ***** about your problems and beat yourself up for it makes me want to throw up.

LISTEN man, be a ****ing man and EITHER ask the beauty out or accept being a friend becuase chances are, that's all you are to her(those who fail to capitalize on opportunities, must suffer the consequences)

And stop ****ing ASSUMING she likes you when in reality you really DO NOT know if she likes you.

Your filtering almost every one of her responses through the purifier of a needy, WUSS bag.

This girl seems to be telling you about her problems. Women tell friends about their problems, NOT guys they're attracted to, but maybe

I could NOT be wrong.

I think I need a bag to throw up now.
 

The Master Disaster

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JohnChap said:
The girl seems to be telling you about her problems. Women tell friends about their problems, NOT guys they're attracted to, but maybe
We were done, and I was about to leave, but she drew me back in by helping her with her article. Then about 5 minutes went by, and she asked me 1 problem. Not problems just 1.

Also if you notice, the problem can be solved with me asking her out, and that's the only solution I didn't say (Which was my fault big time). No wonder every answer she didn't like because she was looking for me to ask her out... Damn it.

She didn't come to that workshop today, but next time I see her Monday or Wednesday before we even work I'm going to ask if she wants to go get something to eat, and then I'll take her downtown to a local pizza place probably.

Once she's in my car, and we're downtown. She's gonna be puddy in my hands. I'm in a history city and I drive a $50,000 car. If she's at least mildly attracted, we'll have a blast.
 

Igetit!

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Oh,so she's going to be "puddy" in your hands,right? If you fumbled up asking her out when the two of you first met each other,what makes you think that you are going to "get it right" this time?

You do realize that the more time that passes by,the less the chance that you will ever to date this girl,don't you?
 

The Master Disaster

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Wow, everyone is acting like they got something rammed up their ass.

I'm gonna ask her out next time I see her. I don't even give sh*t anymore.

Maybe it's a good thing you guys are all being Negative Nancy's cause now I'm just gonna prove you all wrong.
 

nismo-4

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JohnChap said:
listening to your guys ***** about your problems and beat yourself up for it makes me want to throw up.

LISTEN man, be a ****ing man and EITHER ask the beauty out or accept being a friend becuase chances are, that's all you are to her(those who fail to capitalize on opportunities, must suffer the consequences)

And stop ****ing ASSUMING she likes you when in reality you really DO NOT know if she likes you.

Your filtering almost every one of her responses through the purifier of a needy, WUSS bag.

This girl seems to be telling you about her problems. Women tell friends about their problems, NOT guys they're attracted to, but maybe

I could NOT be wrong.

I think I need a bag to throw up now.
Usually when you assume a woman likes you, you make yourself look like or end up being an ass.

You can get an autographed bag to throw up in from ebay for $1.73!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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slaog

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The Master Disaster said:
So I met with this girl that I've been meeting for a couple weeks for a class.

We worked on this project, and when we decided it was over she wanted me to help her with this article (I am one of the editors at the school's newspaper).

Couple minutes went by, and she asked me advice about this dude who keeps asking her out. She doesn't like him or attracted to him, but she feels sorry for him and wanted me to help her figure out a way to turn him down. She kept saying that she didn't have a boyfriend, and everyone knew. "I was like how do they know?"

She replied like, "They just know." Sounds fishy... After awhile, she said, "Maybe, I'll just say I like this other guy, and it wouldn't be fair for either of us." She got really, really nervous when she said this. I smirked on the inside because she avoided eye contact. I some how think... she was talking about me.

My god, I'm an idiot. I didn't know how to slide it in that I wanted to ask her out. I should been like, "I got an idear. Let's go out," but no I just made bunch load of jokes.

What was funny is I mentioned something about a girl, and she got all serious. She looked a lil' jealous, but I didn't draw it out or anything. I just mentioned it.

Neways, I kind of convinced her to go to this workshop on Saturday. I asked her if she was going she said no. I told her I had to go (because i'm an editor), and she was like, "You know what I'll try to make it. I have a party, but if I can I'll go." Maybe I didn't convince her.

God, I hope she goes. I'm gonna ask her if she wants to get some lunch after the workshop if she goes.

I feel so damn dumb. I can't believe I didn't capitalize on it. It was such a gimme.

If she doesn't go, next time we mee I'm gonna ask her if she wants to grab something after. If I don't act now... I'm gonna miss my chance.
We've all fvcked up some time. Don't worry about that.


From what you said about the way she acted I think she likes you. I'm sure she does. Ask her to go and get something to eat if she is there. Tell her you're going and ask her if she'd like to join you.


By mentioning her 'problem' about a guy who likes her I think she only mentioned it because she wanted to talk about relationships with you. If she was really thinking about homework that wouldn't have been on her mind. ;)
 

loving

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Hindsight is a form of observing ego. It is 20/20, just like your ability to cope in that situation real-time.

What you want now is the practice of watching yourself, the "I in I" so with your knowledge you can be fully aware and present every moment, and make experiences that you can truly look back on and say Wow.
 

The Master Disaster

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slaog said:
We've all fvcked up some time. Don't worry about that.


From what you said about the way she acted I think she likes you. I'm sure she does. Ask her to go and get something to eat if she is there. Tell her you're going and ask her if she'd like to join you.


By mentioning her 'problem' about a guy who likes her I think she only mentioned it because she wanted to talk about relationships with you. If she was really thinking about homework that wouldn't have been on her mind. ;)
That's a really good point. How did this come up if she didn't like me. She had to be thinking about men and relationships for this to come up.

We worked on this project, and when we were done she pointed that she needed help with an article. It felt like she wanted to bring me back in. Then out of no where she points out this problem about a guy she didn't like and wanted help turning down.

Then she makes sure to point out in the story that she doesn't have a boyfriend, but she does so absurdly.

Her: "Everyone knows in the class that I don't have a boyfriend"
Me: "How do they know?"
Her: "They just do.

No doubt in my mind next time I get with her Monday or Wednesday that I'll ask her to get some lunch.

I can't decide if I should do it before, middle, or after. I'm leaning towards a couple minutes in.

Me: "Sorry, I can't focus. I'm really hungry. Do you just want to post pone this for a little bit and go grab something to eat?" Then go hop in my car, and I'll take her downtown to a local pizza shop or something.

Does that sound good?
 

The Master Disaster

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HA HA! HA HA!

That sh*t worked like a charm.

We went to the library today, and there were no computers open, so I was like, "I'm frick'n hungry. You want to grab something and come back."

She quickly agreed, but she was a little hesitant when I told her I didn't want to the Cafeteria. Maybe she was more confused, but she agreed without any added pressure. Just a couple seconds to process the info.

She was in love with my car, and we went over to Taco Bell because she mentioned it. While we were going through the drive-thru, she said "Do you just want to come back to my place and work on it."

I agreed, and we spent 4 hours at her place. We had a lot, a lot of fun, and we got really close. We're meeting on Wednesday, and I'll ask her out for the weekend then.

Dude, she's pretty gaga over me. Haha, this is awesome! I'll let that feeling fester over the next two days, and then I'll pop the question.

This is going to be cake to get her to go out with me.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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