Weird situation and need some advice.

[Ryotick]

So this girl I meet in like high school fell in love with me in like 9th grade. She liked me so much throughout all of our high school years and I really feel like she still has feelings for me. I liked her but for some reason I never pursued her. I was pursuing girls that I shouldn't have even put my time into(lessons learned). Now out of all times I want her, badly, I want a serious relationship with her. We're both out of high school she is in college at a university and has a boyfriend she's been with for a year. I've kinda always kept in touch with her but rarely did we talk after we graduated. I've just now started talking to her and she's responding so I feel like she is interested otherwise she wouldn't say anything back. She is conservative and strict of her feelings and relationships.

The things I'm unsure about are should I take things slow since its been some time we've even done anything? I want to stay out of the friend zone which I don't think she'll put me in because she'll just let me know upfront, but if I see it going that way how can I avoid that? Also I want honest opinions so if you don't think I should even pursue her just let me know what you think.

Other notes... I don't think she has a strong relationship with her boyfriend. Honestly I totally feel like he doesn't deserve her... So if she gave me a chance I'd prove it. So my confidence is high in this just nervous of rejection. Also just let you know I've never been in any official relationship and I'm a virgin.

 

[Desdinova]

Now out of all times I want her, badly, I want a serious relationship with her.

You really have no clue about how attraction and progression of a relationship works. You cannot say "I want a relationship with that girl" and make it happen. You cannot even approach a girl (even a single one) and say "I want a relationship with you." You need to get the woman attracted to you, get her number, take her out on dates for a couple months, and THEN you can enter into a relationship with her.

has a boyfriend she's been with for a year.

Since you seem to have no clue how the progression of a relationship works, you're not going to have a clue on how to steal a woman from her bf. Again, it all boils down to attraction and knowing what she's lacking (emotionally) from her relationship with the bf. And don't tell me she's lacking "a respectful, loving, caring man" because women genuinely don't want that. Since women don't give a 5hit about that mushy stuff preached about in Disney movies, what are you going to give her?

I've just now started talking to her and she's responding so I feel like she is interested otherwise she wouldn't say anything back.

Attention is NOT the same as attraction. She can talk to any guy within her vicinity and not feel anything toward them. You're just another guy to her.

should I take things slow since its been some time we've even done anything?

You can go as slow as you want, but unless you're doing the right things to actually make her feel attraction toward you, you'll just be wasting your time and energy.

Honestly I totally feel like he doesn't deserve her... So if she gave me a chance I'd prove it.

You're putting her on a pedestal. Women don't like a man who places his value lower than hers. You need to elevate YOUR value higher than hers and higher than her bf's if you want to succeed in attracting her. Right now, you see her as some valuable gem that a guy like yourself would be so lucky to have for his own. If you want to succeed with women, YOU need to become that gem.

You obviously have a lot to learn, so I suggest reading the DJ Bible. Read, learn, then put your knowledge to work out in the field.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, Judge nismo has found you guilty of unauthorized use of a pedestal and second degree oneitis. You're already in Friendzone, Georgia. You might as well just pay the fine of 2 blue balls while there.

This is a situation that a lot of men seem to face because they haven't been spinning plates and they have little to no options.

Understand that she's just being friendly toward you. You know damn well that your princess is in another castle. She doesn't see you in that way. You're going down a dead end road. Don't travel that road. :nono:

Forget about this girl. Move on to try another 5. At least. That's the best thing that is for you.

Case closed.

 

[JohnChops]

OP, Judge nismo has found you guilty of unauthorized use of a pedestal and second degree oneitis. You're already in Friendzone, Georgia. You might as well just pay the fine of 2 blue balls while there.

This is a situation that a lot of men seem to face because they haven't been spinning plates and they have little to no options.

Understand that she's just being friendly toward you. You know damn well that your princess is in another castle. She doesn't see you in that way. You're going down a dead end road. Don't travel that road. :nono:

Forget about this girl. Move on to try another 5. At least. That's the best thing that is for you.

Case closed.

yeah the bold is win and 120% true.

 

[youngmack]

Yeah it seems like this is a no go...but isn't part of being a DJ and having that inner core self confidence going after what you want in life?

So if the OP really wants this girl..How does he go about acquiring her? This would also be beneficial for me to know also because i might happen to fall in this type of situation sometime in the future...

 

[Desdinova]

So if the OP really wants this girl..How does he go about acquiring her? This would also be beneficial for me to know also because i might happen to fall in this type of situation sometime in the future...

If you want to build a relationship with a girl of your choice, you first need the tools to build that relationship. Acquiring the tools is the first step. Learning how to use them is the next step. Learning how to actually build the relationship is after. Learning this talent will take practice and fvcking things up until you perfect your new found skills.

Sosuave can give you the tools to achieve your goals with women. It's up to you to learn how to use them and figure out what you want to use them for.

 

[Ryotick]

Thanks for your helpful comments people. You all are absolutely right. I don't know how attraction or progression works, and from almost every girl I've liked I've always put them on pedestals. Not that I would always want to but I just never paid any attention to any of the things I was doing wrong and never understood it. So I'm not going to pursue this girl instead I'm going to read the DJ bible, learn and practice the skills it offers.

 

[Ryotick]

Actually, now that I think about it, I know I have a BIG problem with pouring my feelings and emotions into a girl that I like. Almost instantly. Every time it happens I don't know what to do, how to do, how to react. I seem to think of everything at once. Is there anyway of handling/controlling this kind of problem?

 

[Desdinova]

Actually, now that I think about it, I know I have a BIG problem with pouring my feelings and emotions into a girl that I like. Almost instantly. Every time it happens I don't know what to do, how to do, how to react. I seem to think of everything at once. Is there anyway of handling/controlling this kind of problem?

Easy. Interact with her like she's your best friend but add in some teasing and touching. Also, keep the conversation positive and mainly focused on her. She doesn't want to hear about how you install operating systems or your thoughts on the theory of relativity.

 

[Iceberg]

Actually, now that I think about it, I know I have a BIG problem with pouring my feelings and emotions into a girl that I like. Almost instantly. Every time it happens I don't know what to do, how to do, how to react. I seem to think of everything at once. Is there anyway of handling/controlling this kind of problem?

Eh, I think it's just that you're young. I probably did the same thing when I was 19 or 20.

You're still at a stage where you believe that "the perfect girl" can put you on the path to the life of your dreams. Then you get older, and you (hopefully) realize that a good woman is nice, but reaching your dreams is your own responsibility. Not a hypothetical girlfriend's.