"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Weird position caused by inaction

2crudedudes

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There is this girl I talk to when I run errands for my office job when I see her at the government office (G.O.) we both go to. We've talked enough for me to find out where she works, where she goes to school, and a few other details. However I f*cked up from the very beginning and never formally introduced myself. So now I've known this girl on and off for a few months, yet we don't know each other's name.

Its never guaranteed that I will see her at the G.O., though last week I saw her as I was leaving. She was with a co-worker, and she briefly told me that she was going to a new job pretty soon. That was the last "conversation" we had.

I don't know how to approach this. I don't know her position at her work, so I don't even know if I can just show up and ask for someone whose name I don't even know.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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HariPoter13

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Grab a small piece of paper and write down your number and your name. Take it with you everywhere you go. Next time you see her, smile and give her the paper.
 

Iceberg

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What's the big deal? Seems like she's long gone. If there's any way around the office to dig up her name, I'm sure you've already thought of it. But I mean...that's kinda stalker-ish. I'm not sure if one woman is worth all that effort...especially a woman whose name you don't even know.

I'm just saying, if there was some kind of deep connection between you guys, I'd understand the effort. But you two haven't even exchanged names. Seems like you'll be fine throwing this fish back into the water.

If you DO see her again, however, just do what you should have done. Exchange names and get her number. The fact that she's leaving gives you a great excuse. "Hey, it sucks that you're leaving. We'll have to catch up later. What's your number?"

HariPoter13 said:
Grab a small piece of paper and write down your number and your name. Take it with you everywhere you go. Next time you see her, smile and give her the paper.
Cute...
 

Kailex

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Or, you can grab a piece of paper, have a pen on you, and write down her number, instead of giving out yours.
 

2crudedudes

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HariPoter13 said:
Grab a small piece of paper and write down your number and your name. Take it with you everywhere you go. Next time you see her, smile and give her the paper.
Seems too passive. Like I said, we didn't really talk about very much, just a little chitchat, so I don't even know if she's interested to begin with.



Iceberg said:
What's the big deal? Seems like she's long gone. If there's any way around the office to dig up her name, I'm sure you've already thought of it. But I mean...that's kinda stalker-ish. I'm not sure if one woman is worth all that effort...especially a woman whose name you don't even know.

I'm just saying, if there was some kind of deep connection between you guys, I'd understand the effort. But you two haven't even exchanged names. Seems like you'll be fine throwing this fish back into the water.

If you DO see her again, however, just do what you should have done. Exchange names and get her number. The fact that she's leaving gives you a great excuse. "Hey, it sucks that you're leaving. We'll have to catch up later. What's your number?"
It's not a big deal. I realize I have nothing to work with and that in the end it might not even happen at all. I'm willing to accept that, and in fact more or less do. However, I figure, since she's not gone yet, and I like her enough to make a post about her, I was trying to work out a way to at least fix some of my mistakes and salvage what little interaction we had. If it doesn't happen, I won't even break a sweat. But I'd like to not give up until its truly finished or at least until the restraining order kicks in (kidding).




Kailex said:
Or, you can grab a piece of paper, have a pen on you, and write down her number, instead of giving out yours.

yeah, seems more like the route I'd like to take.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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