WEIRD - Gimme your opinions/thoughts

[myfriendblu]

So Im seein this girl, STR type thing, no biggie right. She works at a local subway, which is great because Im not only shaggin her on the regular, but I get free food all the time as well. She is 20. All good right? Well, I stop in yesterday, later in the night, for some free food and to chat with her on her lunch break. Were sittin in one of the booths just havin a little idle chit chat, and this guy walks in. Immediately I sense tension from her, and she slumps in her seat to try and avoid eye contact with him. She is acting very weird. She is like "Lets go out back and have a smoke" to avoid seeing him. Of course, I put 2 and 2 together and realize that this guy is an ex of hers of some sort. I just quickly ask her "What was that all about? " She is like "Thats some guy i was seein awile back" Then, suddenly, my IL in her just immediately dropped to the floor. I played it cool like a DJ and didn't get jealous at all and quickly dropped the subject, and split a few minutes later after I ate. The guy was ghetto as hell. He looked pretty shady. Normally I don't care and i don't even think about past hisortories and such, but dam, this dude was REALLY scummy and shady looking. I got a REALLY bad vibe from him, and Im usually a dead-on when it comes to judging a persons character when first meeting them.

Now, my question. I was tryin to figure out and analyze why i had the immediate drop in IL in her. I was thinking 3 particular things.

1. The fact that she kinda handled the situation very cowardly and, ya know, highschool - like. I know she is only 20, but dam, don't people sorta out-grow this kinda thing. She acted like she was in 9th grade. So ya dated some guy and you run into him. Big deal? Act like an adult and be decent about it ya know? The fact that she was very silly and girly-ish about it was a big turn off.

2. This dude was HELLA shady looking. Obviously, I don't get hung up on a girls past history, considering all the shady hook-ups I have had, but DAM. This dude was scum. Thinkin that this is the type of guy she would hook up with, just, for whateever UNCONTROLLABLE reason, just killed my IL in her. I dunno why

3. A combination of 1 and 2, which is my best guess.

What do you all think? This is the first time I have had a situation like this before, but Im sure plenty of you out there have been in my shoes. Don't worry, Im not getting all hung up on it at all, Im hanging out with another girl as well. What do you think? Thanks,
Blu

 

[SamePendo]

The man you saw was really Sexy_Malibu, now THATS WEIRD!!!

Concerning the subject, I think its more like a vibe thing, as you said, and we wont really get the feeling.

 

[Julian]

I think its just that fact that this raggedy guy's shlong was all up in her guts and then yours was which is kind of like mad sloppy seconds for you. Disgusting.

 

[ZeeOwl]

Hey Blu, how are you doing buddy?

Originally posted by myfriendblu
STR type thing, no biggie right.

How can you know in advance that it's a STR? A STR is an LTR that doesn't last.

She works at a local subway.

When you're done with her can I have her? Subway is the only type of fast food that I eat, I'm in there all the time.

The fact that she kinda handled the situation very cowardly and, ya know, highschool - like. I know she is only 20, but dam, don't people sorta out-grow this kinda thing. She acted like she was in 9th grade.

Depends how the relationship ended. If it was really messy and painful, or he abused her in any way, that's a perfectly normal reaction. Has nothing to do with age. I had an ex that could make me act that way. I'm a guy, and was 36 the last time I ran into her.

This dude was HELLA shady looking. Obviously, I don't get hung up on a girls past history, considering all the shady hook-ups I have had, but DAM. This dude was scum. Thinkin that this is the type of guy she would hook up with, just, for whateever UNCONTROLLABLE reason, just killed my IL in her. I dunno why.

There's actually 2 things going on here.
1) The madonna/virgin complex. Every guy at least subconsciously wants to be a girl's first and only. He wants to be the only one who's ever had her, and been inside her. It's a macho thing, but we all suffer from it, even the "sensitive new-age" types like me. So when an ex shows up, especially one that affects her deeply like what happened, you get you nose stuck in the fact that you're not the only one who has meaning to her.
2) The slvt complex. Every guy want's their gf to be innocent and pure and sweet. Her hooking up with this bum makes her fall off that pedestal you put her on, so you're IL drops accordingly. She's not as "good" as you thought she was, so she's not "worthy" of you anymore. And like Julian mentioned, the thought of this scum-type guy's schlong once being inside your gf kind of disgusts you.

Nothing weird about it at all, you sound perfectly normal to me. That will be 5¢ please.

 

[myfriendblu]

Yup yup Zee, your pretty much right on the money. About the STR, I mean Short term relationship. Were sorta seein eachother, but I KNOW that its not gonna last long. LOL I don't want it too. But dam, your right on the money. EVERYBODY has the same feelings, especially abou the madonna thing and the pedastal thing. Its how we REACT that seperates the DJ's from the AFC's. I think the fact that I didn't get nosy, and ESPECIALLY that I didn't let her get into detail. I avoiding drudging up old feeling and didn't let her tampon me with her baggage. I let it slide. Were as the younger, less experienced AFC woulda made a big deal out of it.

Aw man, she is almost worth it for all the free subway I get. And Im not talking about some crappy little veggie sub. I get the works, stuffed full of double roast beef, extra cheese/toppings not to mention chips and water(I don't drink pop). Plus, she is young and hot, and you know what that means. Like i said, Im playin it cool. Its cool to know and realize that I think we all, DJ or AFC, have nearly identical feelings about particular situations. Its how we react and handle it ultimately chooses our destiny..