weird contradiction in advice

[taiwanesedude227]

I've noticed that two kinds of advice that I've gotten contradict each other. One idea that is often stressed (especially by David DeAngelo) is to appear indifferent to a girl's beauty and bust their balls etc.. but i've been reading the bible (following the bible reading plan) and in lots of the success stories, the DJ either opens with a compliment or uses several of them throughout the interaction. For example this one:

Me: Hi Tanya, I've been noticing that you're by far the loveliest girl that works here and I wanted to meet you.

Well that was all it took. She was very flattered and got all flustered at this point. She threw out "Thank You!" and then, as if she wasn't sure what to do, took a couple steps in the direction she was going and then stopped and took a step back to talk to me. I just made fluff talk asking about her job and what not. The great part was how I was all cool and confident while she was clearly a bit nervous. She talked a little too fast and made slightly exaggerated hand gestures and head movements, signs of nervousness.

Now I'm just a regular guy and I was dressed in a t-shirt and slighty dirty jeans. And here was the Hottest Babe around acting as if she had just met the greatest stud in the world.

So am i missing something here or does these two ideas totally contradict each other?

 

[BrotherAP]

It doesn't matter how beautiful you think she is - it matters how beautiful she thinks she is. And how many times she's heard that line.

If you're the twentieth guy to approach a girl by telling her "I noticed how beautiful you are" then she's going to be sick of hearing it. She's going to doubt the sincerity, wondering "How many girls has he said this to today?" More often than not, this is the case. You tell a girl that she is beautiful, and unfortunately you've found a trigger word for an automatic "no"

Use compliments wisely, and only say them when you truly mean them and not as a way to impress the woman. A compliment is a declaritive statement, not a question. It does not need an answer.

Personally, if a beautiful girl responds positively to such an honest approach, that's +10 points right there.

For those self-absorbed girls who 'know they're hot' and get a kick out of hearing men tell them so, you're not going to get a positive response from a compliment like that.

Just a matter of deciding what you're looking for, I suppose.


BrotherAP

 

[spider_007]

"there is more then one way to skin a cat"

some things work for some people and some other things don't.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Women have a natural physical attraction towards me.

Thats why I have success with compliments and sexual confidence.

I give compliments as if they are nothing. If they respond positively. I talk to them. I am looking for her motive. Does she want another compliment? Yes? I turn my back and ignore her. Conversation is over and she didn't even know it. No? What are you doing tonight? This is where I start running my game.

Alot of guys just don't know how to use compliments. They feel they are lowering themselves by giving them out. Compliments are a very easy tool to work with. You just have to know how to give them.

If you tell a girl she is hot and physically have drool running down your chin she will be repulsed, even ugly ones. So give her a compliment as if its a compliment not as if you are listing the entire contents of your pea brain.

This is an example of a lameass compliment I heard a few weeks back. Chick with a monster monster (im talking monster) truck pulls into 7-11. Guy is walking towards the entrance. Girls jumps out ****y as shiit.

DJ dork-- "Nice truck you handle it really well." said it cool.
hot chick walks by dj dork without a word.

I would have said "My truck is way bigger than that. Wanna see it?"...... "I also have a limosine.... wanna see it."

 

[Egoist]

i think the best way to look at it is the new school and old school.

new school: confidence, negs, social psych, being the prize - indirect game

old school: confidence, direct approach, seduction, etc.. - direct game.

every DJ/PUA should understand both schools of thought and be able to know when to apply either one.

approach a hot girl in a club with a "loveliest girl" BS and she will laugh at your face. unless your definition of a hot girl is a pasty porker, of course. then it will work.

however, there are situations in which direct seduction might be appropriate.

Honestly, it all depends on you. There are so many methods and techniques, almost any joe schmoe can find something true to his heart.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by Mr Spitfire


I give compliments as if they are nothing. If they respond positively. I talk to them. I am looking for her motive. Does she want another compliment? Yes? I turn my back and ignore her. Conversation is over and she didn't even know it. No? What are you doing tonight? This is where I start running my game.

ahhh thanks for bringing this up..

it is SOO important not to appear as a desperate AFC when giving out compliments. Just do an off hand compliment that will leave her wondering, but you have to still be C&F when you deliver it.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

it is SOO important not to appear as a desperate AFC when giving out compliments.

Thats all there is too it. You can do whatever you want with it. There's 10,000 ways to compliment a girl. Another thing that doesn't occur to most guys is that they can lie. Lying is great.
I told a girl the other day that she was the most beautiful girl I had seen all day. She was pretty good looking but not even close to perfect but I said it like I was looking at a chiseled goddess and she ate it up. She would have talked to me for 15 minutes after I said that.

Compliments said with the right force can buy you time to run your game. You can give a compliment and not seem AFC but it will still be flacid next to a smooth azz liar like me.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

JC Jerkson, does telling a girl that you find something particular about her that is very attractive or unique fall into the AFC category? Because I'm willing to bet an average girl gets the classic "wow, you're hot. are you like single?" as opposed to "Wow, I really like that whole (armband, ear ring, hair colour choice, hairstyle.... etc) you have going on. It's nice to meet someone with (good style, a diverse palate, an open personality, an exceptional smile... etc.)" <-- is this really the same old compliment of telling her how she looks? Or is the refinement alone much more effective? you be the judge.

And one thing I've come to learn about compliments is that they become a little runny and uncaptivating like they used to be. Because as much as they love compliments, its good to use them sparingly. But the things David DeAngelo talk about is actually a good "trick" to use to string her along. If she's hoping for another compliment and you reply back with a neg-hit, then it will take her back than if you were just to say no.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

Ya, dont compliment her looks or let her know that you are sexually attracted to her. It will make me all the more special since Im the only DJ that does it apparently.

 

[Mr Spitfire]

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