Weightlifting, in vain?

runner83

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"...It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" -

Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa


I broke my arm a few weeks back. Even now there is pain. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and it is likely that I will have to get a pin installed in surgery.

But I keep moving forward.

Man up, stop your whinging.

2 weeks ago, I was ripped and fresh off nailing a girl I met in a club for the first date...with 7 other girl in line to meet me.

Now, my arm is broken and I can't even put a shirt on without feeling some pain.

But I keep moving forward and don't give up. Why?

Because I am a man.
 

J. Darko

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Well guys, I guess I'm getting cured from depression right now, the hard way. I mean, I'm spending this week in a hospital because of life threatening blood anemia and severe stomach pain. That explains why I nearly fainted from doing a set of bicep curls. Seriously.

Now all the depressed thinking seems so silly. All that matters now is to be healthy again and make the most of life. Quite the eye-opener.
 

J. Darko

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Fck...

I'm diagnosed with a chronic illness. I'll have to use meds everyday. It's incurable. I'll be sick 'til I die. Inflammable bowel/ Probably Crohn or something. Why? Why Me? This isn't f*cking fair. Now How do I achieve my goals...

How can you lift weights, if your body is losing blood inside and doesn't take up the nutrients.

How will I be a CEO if can't work hard because of the pain in my stomach.

How will I be a good fighter if I can't take blow to the gut?

I'm screwed over by life.
 

runner83

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That is a tough break.

I think the advice on here was based on the assumption that you were otherwise healthy, but if you have a major illness, you have to focus on dealing with that.

But unfortunately, crying about it your situation won't help one bit. You have to stay positive and do the best with what you are given.

I can only hope that if something major ever happened to me like that, that I would still keep fighting.

Good luck.
 

Alle_Gory

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J. Darko said:
I'm diagnosed with a chronic illness. I'll have to use meds everyday. It's incurable. I'll be sick 'til I die. Inflammable bowel/ Probably Crohn or something. Why? Why Me? This isn't f*cking fair. Now How do I achieve my goals...
Life isn't fair. Now the best thing you can do is find out how to treat the disease.

How can you lift weights, if your body is losing blood inside and doesn't take up the nutrients.
Hell if I know. I also have the same problem (random free bleeding) and I have an appointment with a general surgeon at the end of the month to see what the hell is causing it. All I can tell you is that I understand how difficult it is. My body feels slow and I don't have energy. I hope it's not Chron's but he said this is one of the causes. I also bleed pretty freely when I get cut so I'm hoping that's the cause instead. At least you have to take medication instead of surgery to remove the diseased parts, that's your silver lining. It could be much worse.

The medication they gave you, it's an immunosuppressant isn't it?

If it makes you feel any better, you're probably not going to die from this. Just follow the proper treatments and you will be fine.

FYI, look into something called a fecal transplant or fecal bacteriotherapy. It's a very promising treatment that works for ulcerative colitis which is also an inflammatory disease. Yes, it's a very nasty treatment. Yes, it's supposed to work for most patients. More info on what the treatment is: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Fecal_bacteriotherapy

Message Fuglydude on the forums here for more info, medical wise. He's trained as an EMT if I'm not mistaken so he will be able to help with general medical questions, more as information for you to understand than medical advice.
 
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J. Darko

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runner83 said:
That is a tough break.

I think the advice on here was based on the assumption that you were otherwise healthy, but if you have a major illness, you have to focus on dealing with that.

But unfortunately, crying about it your situation won't help one bit. You have to stay positive and do the best with what you are given.

I can only hope that if something major ever happened to me like that, that I would still keep fighting.

Good luck.
Thnx. It's not definitive just yet. There's a tiny bit of hope, a tiny bit... I guess it's best to just forget about it and live life to the max.


Alle_Gory said:
Life isn't fair. Now the best thing you can do is find out how to treat the disease.



Hell if I know. I also have the same problem (random free bleeding) and I have an appointment with a general surgeon at the end of the month to see what the hell is causing it. All I can tell you is that I understand how difficult it is. My body feels slow and I don't have energy. I hope it's not Chron's but he said this is one of the causes. I also bleed pretty freely when I get cut so I'm hoping that's the cause instead. At least you have to take medication instead of surgery to remove the diseased parts, that's your silver lining. It could be much worse.

The medication they gave you, it's an immunosuppressant isn't it?

If it makes you feel any better, you're probably not going to die from this. Just follow the proper treatments and you will be fine.

FYI, look into something called a fecal transplant or fecal bacteriotherapy. It's a very promising treatment that works for ulcerative colitis which is also an inflammatory disease. Yes, it's a very nasty treatment. Yes, it's supposed to work for most patients. More info on what the treatment is: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Fecal_bacteriotherapy

Message Fuglydude on the forums here for more info, medical wise. He's trained as an EMT if I'm not mistaken so he will be able to help with general medical questions, more as information for you to understand than medical advice.
Sorry to hear you have medical problems as well. Are you still able to work and go to the gym? I hope so.

They are giving me prednisone, iron and blood. I'n not worried about the treatment, but my dreams are shattered.

I've always wanted to grow up like a superhuman being. A strong man that doesn't need to eat, or sleep. A man that is never tired and can take ten bullets to the heart and still live. A man that works 100 hours every week, looks like a model and fights like a super saiyan. Instoppable. Power level over 9000. That dream is shattered.

I can't accept that I might be up to an invisible opponent for the rest of my life, that he's lurking in the dark ambushing me at random and I might never get rid of him, only battle him when he rears his ugly head. Vegeta doesn't have crohn. Dirty Harry doesn't have crohn. Rambo doesn't have crohn. I can't have it either.

That's about how I feel right now.

--------------------

But I guess I should stop thinking again. I guess my mindset still needs some work. How do you live? If you get up, do you just have breakfast and enjoy your food? Without thinking about going to work, or what's on tv, or how much reps you should bench press today? And if you work, do you just do your job, without thinking about how you might fail or succeed, or what your boss thinks of your work? If you go to the gym, do you just concentrate on feeling your muscles working, or are you thinking about how much proteine you should take after your workout or how many sets would be optimal today? Are you surfing the net as well, always looking for the optimal way to do things, searching for information on the optimal hours of sleep, effect of olive oil on testosterone, best type of dates with girls...I find myself doing that all the time.

Should I just turn on the auto-pilot? Metaphorically speaking, not thinking about anything, analysing anything, searching for loads information on anything.

Like a casual card game: just deal with the hand your given and let the cards fall where they may? Just play the game and enjoy it, without a care in the world about what cards your opponents are dealt, or about the way cards fall or about the moves of you and your opponents in the past or the future.

Is that it? Is life that simple? That effortless? Just enjoy the game? Just enjoy eating, sleeping, training, working, socializing and the health, the muscles, the women and the money will follow without having to think about it, analyse it, or gathering information about it?

---------------

By the way, I met a girl and I guess she likes me without me doing anything special. I mean, I'm in the hospital, I'm a zombie and just talked and listened. That's all I did. Not alfa at all, no negs, not carrying myself as a king or presenting myself as a leader. Just talked and listened for a few seconds while being in one of the worst physical states and she actually likes me. Gave me a phone number and agreed to date sometime when I get better. It's such a...strange world. Just suddenly, out of nowhere, at random, a girl shows interest. Mad world...
 

Alle_Gory

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J. Darko said:
Are you still able to work and go to the gym? I hope so.
I can do everything except the gym. My muscles remain strong but I don't have much endurance. Blood loss does that to you. I've been taking iron which helps.

That dream is shattered.
Like hell it is. This isn't a life threatening disease but it can be debilitating. Follow proper treatments and look for new treatments if they're safe and won't cause harm.

Dirty Harry doesn't have crohn.
Dirty Harry lost a lot of people he cared about. He always carried that with him.

Rambo doesn't have crohn.
Rambo also lost friends, lovers, got shot and he probably has arthritis and hearing damage at least.

You have a treatable disease.

Should I just turn on the auto-pilot? Metaphorically speaking, not thinking about anything, analysing anything, searching for loads information on anything.
Honestly, this sounds like the best thing. You're tired and you sound like you could use the rest, both physical and mental.

By the way, I met a girl and I guess she likes me without me doing anything special. I mean, I'm in the hospital, I'm a zombie and just talked and listened. That's all I did. Not alfa at all, no negs, not carrying myself as a king or presenting myself as a leader. Just talked and listened for a few seconds while being in one of the worst physical states and she actually likes me. Gave me a phone number and agreed to date sometime when I get better. It's such a...strange world. Just suddenly, out of nowhere, at random, a girl shows interest. Mad world...
Fantastic. :up:
 

J. Darko

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J. Darko said:
Thnx. It's not definitive just yet. There's a tiny bit of hope, a tiny bit... I guess it's best to just forget about it and live life to the max.




Sorry to hear you have medical problems as well. Are you still able to work and go to the gym? I hope so.

They are giving me prednisone, iron and blood. I'n not worried about the treatment, but my dreams are shattered.

I've always wanted to grow up like a superhuman being. A strong man that doesn't need to eat, or sleep. A man that is never tired and can take ten bullets to the heart and still live. A man that works 100 hours every week, looks like a model and fights like a super saiyan. Instoppable. Power level over 9000. That dream is shattered.

I can't accept that I might be up to an invisible opponent for the rest of my life, that he's lurking in the dark ambushing me at random and I might never get rid of him, only battle him when he rears his ugly head. Vegeta doesn't have crohn. Dirty Harry doesn't have crohn. Rambo doesn't have crohn. I can't have it either.

That's about how I feel right now.

--------------------

But I guess I should stop thinking again. I guess my mindset still needs some work. How do you live? If you get up, do you just have breakfast and enjoy your food? Without thinking about going to work, or what's on tv, or how much reps you should bench press today? And if you work, do you just do your job, without thinking about how you might fail or succeed, or what your boss thinks of your work? If you go to the gym, do you just concentrate on feeling your muscles working, or are you thinking about how much proteine you should take after your workout or how many sets would be optimal today? Are you surfing the net as well, always looking for the optimal way to do things, searching for information on the optimal hours of sleep, effect of olive oil on testosterone, best type of dates with girls...I find myself doing that all the time.

Should I just turn on the auto-pilot? Metaphorically speaking, not thinking about anything, analysing anything, searching for loads information on anything.

Like a casual card game: just deal with the hand your given and let the cards fall where they may? Just play the game and enjoy it, without a care in the world about what cards your opponents are dealt, or about the way cards fall or about the moves of you and your opponents in the past or the future.

Is that it? Is life that simple? That effortless? Just enjoy the game? Just enjoy eating, sleeping, training, working, socializing and the health, the muscles, the women and the money will follow without having to think about it, analyse it, or gathering information about it?

---------------

By the way, I met a girl and I guess she likes me without me doing anything special. I mean, I'm in the hospital, I'm a zombie and just talked and listened. That's all I did. Not alfa at all, no negs, not carrying myself as a king or presenting myself as a leader. Just talked and listened for a few seconds while being in one of the worst physical states and she actually likes me. Gave me a phone number and agreed to date sometime when I get better. It's such a...strange world. Just suddenly, out of nowhere, at random, a girl shows interest. Mad world...
Can sleep so I need to write some more thoughts of to end the day with a peace of mind.

Just asked myself when I was happy. It's been six years...One of those summer days when I didn't want to sleep anymore because I could not wait to start the day. So I jumped out of bed at 7 'o clock feeling completely refreshed, eating some eating some breakfast playing some videogames, going outside secretly meeting some girl, exploring, playing, being bold, going to random places just whatever I felt like. Then I had to go home for dinner. I ate it all up in five minutes and always asked my parents if I could please leave the dinner table already. Then I rushed of meeting that girl again and when I came back I rushed of again going to some party. And then the came to an end already and I jumped into bed because I couldn't wait to start the next day again.

Six years since I experienced that much energy and joy...where has it all gone? I wasn't on the internet for hours back then complaining about life and depression. And I sure as hell wasn't analyzing how much grams of protein my breakfast contained.

Do you feel the nostalgia, the energy, the joy from what I write? Please, please help me get it back. Everything seems so much darker now that I have to make my own dinner, have to pick a job, a career, pay the bills, locked up in some nasty student room my and have to train my ass off for just a little bit of progress. And especially now hat I'm in the hospital and risk being ill for the rest of my life. I wish those summer days would come back.

Also, just watched the ´Resident Evil' movies, 'Death Race' and 'The Punisher'. Got me all fired up. Testosterone through the roof. Got me thinking again. When I die, I want people to say 'man, that guy was one bad ass motherfcker'. But I'm still kind of a boy right now. Which road will take me to there? From boy to masculine man I mean.

You have no idea how much I would like to lift weights right now, get jacked and kick ass in prison fights and kill zombies as a mercenary in some secret underground lab. Where do you find such life anyway?



I know it's a long post, but...to be honest, I really need a listening ear right now. I really appreciate your replies guys. It helps me get my life in order and my mind straightened out.
 

Alle_Gory

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J. Darko said:
Six years since I experienced that much energy and joy...where has it all gone? I wasn't on the internet for hours back then complaining about life and depression. And I sure as hell wasn't analyzing how much grams of protein my breakfast contained.
Only you can answer that one.

Do you feel the nostalgia, the energy, the joy from what I write? Please, please help me get it back. Everything seems so much darker now that I have to make my own dinner, have to pick a job, a career, pay the bills, locked up in some nasty student room my and have to train my ass off for just a little bit of progress. And especially now hat I'm in the hospital and risk being ill for the rest of my life. I wish those summer days would come back.
I've given you a link on a treatment which is supposed to work fairly effectively. I hope you will look into it and do some research on your own from here. I found this for myself aimlessly surfing the net. I can't do much physical work right now, so I fill my time with other things.

It helps me get my life in order and my mind straightened out.
So what's the prognosis? You going to be alright?
 
U

user43770

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J. Darko said:
Can sleep so I need to write some more thoughts of to end the day with a peace of mind.

Everyone needs a release after a tough day. People find solace in different things. You have to find yours.

Just asked myself when I was happy. It's been six years...One of those summer days when I didn't want to sleep anymore because I could not wait to start the day. So I jumped out of bed at 7 'o clock feeling completely refreshed, eating some eating some breakfast playing some videogames, going outside secretly meeting some girl, exploring, playing, being bold, going to random places just whatever I felt like. Then I had to go home for dinner. I ate it all up in five minutes and always asked my parents if I could please leave the dinner table already. Then I rushed of meeting that girl again and when I came back I rushed of again going to some party. And then the came to an end already and I jumped into bed because I couldn't wait to start the next day again.

This one is easy: NEW things are exciting. I remember being a little kid and being overwhelmed with excitement. I felt like I was about to burst with the amount of happiness I was feeling - it was fleeting, though, and became more irregular as I got older. That feeling completely disappeared when I hit adolescence. As you get older, you lose your innocence. The only way you can get close to that old feeling, these days, is by stepping outside of your current boundaries. I have learned to love the fact that my hands shake when I try something new. It's like I'm a little kid again.

Another thing is, people always remember the past better than it actually was. This is human nature. I look back on my own past like it was the greatest of times, but it definitely wasn't. I could easily surpass those days if I wanted to. Don't become complacent.


Six years since I experienced that much energy and joy...where has it all gone? I wasn't on the internet for hours back then complaining about life and depression. And I sure as hell wasn't analyzing how much grams of protein my breakfast contained.

If you don't want to focus on working out, then don't. Nobody can give you your map to happiness. How do you know that once you've achieved a
power level over 9000
that you would be happy? It's easy to say, "if only I had achieved this I would be happy." In reality, that's bullsh1t. Happiness isn't a prize, it's a state of mind. You have to become comfortable with who you are.


Do you feel the nostalgia, the energy, the joy from what I write? Please, please help me get it back. Everything seems so much darker now that I have to make my own dinner, have to pick a job, a career, pay the bills, locked up in some nasty student room my and have to train my ass off for just a little bit of progress. And especially now hat I'm in the hospital and risk being ill for the rest of my life. I wish those summer days would come back.

Also, just watched the ´Resident Evil' movies, 'Death Race' and 'The Punisher'. Got me all fired up. Testosterone through the roof. Got me thinking again. When I die, I want people to say 'man, that guy was one bad ass motherfcker'. But I'm still kind of a boy right now. Which road will take me to there? From boy to masculine man I mean.

When I die, I want people to say 'man, that guy was one bad ass motherfcker'.
Young people think things like this; you think you're invincible and you want to be everlasting. These things change when you get older. Personally, I've started thinking about the lives of the people I've helped, rather than the ones I've hurt. Vanity is a weakness. The bible got that one right. I'm far from religious.


You have no idea how much I would like to lift weights right now, get jacked and kick ass in prison fights and kill zombies as a mercenary in some secret underground lab. Where do you find such life anyway?

The military, I suppose. Do you think you're ready for that? You should probably wait and find out what's up.


I know it's a long post, but...to be honest, I really need a listening ear right now. I really appreciate your replies guys. It helps me get my life in order and my mind straightened out.

In bold.
 

J. Darko

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Alle_Gory said:
Only you can answer that one.


I've given you a link on a treatment which is supposed to work fairly effectively. I hope you will look into it and do some research on your own from here. I found this for myself aimlessly surfing the net. I can't do much physical work right now, so I fill my time with other things.


So what's the prognosis? You going to be alright?
The answer...

Well, I think part of the answer why my days of happiness have made way for days of sadness is that I feel the need to complicate things. At first when
I started to work ot I just drank more milk and ate some meat. But now...I can't even go have fun for five hours straight without getting scared of losing muscle because the textbook says you need to eat every three hours and don't do too much cardio or else your cortisol levels rise.

The other part of the answer is that I always have the feeling that something is missing. Sure I was happy back then, life was simple, just living day by day and enjoy every moment, but part of me says that I'm meant to do something more than that...that there is something important I should be doing that I'm not doing. Like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. Where is the big adventure where I travel the world, get some real life experience points, save a princess and fight some bad guy that wants to destroy the world? You know, something like that, some sort of destiny. It seems so much more challenging than just going to an office everyday and enjoy the moment. I don't want to grow up to be just another drone.

But I can't find it. In all these years, I still can't find what I'm supposed to do. All I have is this feeling, this burning unfulfilled desire...quite the torture. If only I knew.

The treatment...

I've looked into your link and I appreciate your search for information, but I trust that the doctors at the hospital know what they are doing. I'm feeling a lot better now.

The prognosis...

The doctors don't tell me a lot about what is going to happen. In part because it's not predictable. They give me medicine and take regular blood samples to monitor my progress. I don't know the future.
 

J. Darko

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TyTe`EyEz said:

TyTe`EyEz, I still take your advice to heart, to not worry about my place in life and just go out and have fun, but I got to ask...will it ever come? Will it eventually be revealed what I'm supposed to do? I'm scared of never finding the answer if I just forget about it, but at the same time the quest for the answer hasn't been fruitful so far.

Working out

I love the practice of working out. It's the theory that is draining my mental energy.

For example, I'm afraid that I lose muscle mass if I don't eat anything for more than three hours. If I don't eat anything for more than three hours, I feel guilty. I blame myself for not doing everything I can to get the results I want. I'm afraid that I don't lose bodyfat if I don't eat clean. So I eat simple, tasteless meals I don't enjoy eating, like brown rice wit a raw cucumber and a chicken breast. If I don't eat this clean, I feel guilty. I blame myself for not doing everything I can to get the results I want. I'm afraid that I lose muscle mass if I don't get a certain amount of protein at regular time intervals, so I drink milk and stuff myself with meat everyday and every meal, while I just feel like eating something else or just less of all that meat and milk. But if I don't eat like this, I feel guilty and blame myself for not doing everything I can to get the results I want. I'm afraid that I lose muscle mass of I'm too physically active, like joining a game of basketbal or cycling around town from here to there, because the textbook says that cortisol levels will rise after 40 minutes of exercise and protein synthesis will be sabotaged by too much activity overall. It goes on and on...

In the end, even though I do the very best I can, I still have a hard time putting on muscle and losing body fat and all I can think about is how I can further optimize my lifestyle and eating habits to make progress. It's a mindset like ''if I don't get results, I don't work hard enough''. But..maybe I'm too strict? Does all this even matter? Even in the hospital, I get things like chinese food and baked potatoes with fried fish. And my father...he works a labor job all day and doesn't eat big amounts of protein or watch his diet at all. Still he's way bigger than me from just bench pressing once in a while and nothing more. Am I focusing too much on the details? Could it be that just a healthy, decent breakfast, lunch and dinner of whatever the hell I want is sufficient for muscle building and losing fat and the rest comes down to genetics? Am I brainwashed by all the theories out there on the internet?

New things

Hell yeah I like them. But losing our innocence, does it have to be that way? I've already stopped watching tv and reading the newspapers. Things like taxes, health insurance, murders, politics and advertisements drain the fun out of life. Why dow we produce this sh*t anyway? It isn't fun, it's draining. I didn't worry about paying taxes when I was 16. ll I knew is that I just had to get a job, so I walked to the local grocery store, signed some papers, worked a little, earned a little money and voila, all was good. Why should it be any different now. Why do media and society want me to worry about stuff like taxes? Sure I sign the papers, just get it over with, here take it, big deal, leave me alone. Just don't keep bothering me with I have to do this and that, have to ay the rent, have to pay this, have to clean that. Constantly being reminded of your duties, of what you should and must or else...these things depress me. I want to be engaged in fun things as much as possible and not make such a big deal out of the things that are less fun, or just make less fun things more fun again. I feel like I'm having a much more playful mindset in this regard than other people. If I tell people about dreams and possibilities, they never seem to get excited. Like all they care about is the normal, the routine, the mundane. Or they are like yeah, right *roll eyes*. Maybe they don't have dreams themselves? They like just going through the motions of life? Or am I just being childish?

Like work, sure working is fine. Sitting behind a computer all day crunching some numbers is not. Neither is doing a physical job that consists of routine, routine and more routine. That's why I would really like to join the military, but don't. The missions seem like fun, you get send to all kind of places and you get to meet all kinds of people. But you only go on a mission a few times in your career and between the missions or after the missions are done when you' re just 35, you are stuck and some base raising a flag and singing songs. Boring. Would public relations not be something for me? Or intelligence officer? Maybe those jobs allow me to travel a bit and meet new people and be creative a little? Or is that just a fantasty? Arrrgghhh...it all comes down again to finding my place in this world, my purpose, my feeling of missing something again. Pfff...where is it, what is it? Can't stop thinking about it.

Yeah, I link to think of myself as being invincible and everlasting, that's exactly it! But... I'm on the good side. I save princeses and stuff. Wrestle some raptors. Getting a statue for it...Hmmm...No really. I just imagine life like waking up at 7.00 am, getting a phone call that I should be in country far away in the afternoon. It takes me completely by surprise but I love that, so I hurry, eat breakfast, do a few sets of bench press and run off to the train station. So I arrive at that country, far from home and there seems to be some sort of crisis. So I use my training in social skills to win the crowd, use my eyes and ears to gather some needed infor here and there, work on a solution and solve the crisis. Tired after such a long and busy day, I rest a little in some hotel room, but the phone rings again. Some random party. I don't know anyone there and I'm scared to go and I'm tired, but hell, might as well grab that opportunity. So I order a big meal at the hotel room, do a few sets of squats in between and run off again, to my next adventure. So I walk the dark streets at night to the party, but suddenly get attacked by a robber. Love it. I wrestle him to the ground since I'm stronger than him after all that bench pressing and hand is ass over to the police. That's how I imagine an exciting day of my future life.
 

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I've been following this thread for a while, and have always shied away from replying as I felt it was a highly negative, depressive thread. I'm a very optimistic and positive person and can't handle negativity well...

J. Darko I'll throw my 2 cents at you though... not sure it'll piss you off anymore or what, but hopefully it'll do some good. Its definitely cathartic to vent like you are though so keep it up.

Honestly man, you seem like a lost dude... You really need to figure how to be happy. Tyte'Eyez and Allegory have given you eloquent responses and there's really nothing else I can add on top that. I will reiterate their points with my own twist.

Happiness is a common goal for us, however, each of us has a different means of achieving it. I personally find great satisfaction in working an active resuscitation or code and having a successful outcome or finally figuring out the basic scientific concept of something, or simply being with my family/significant other, etc. You really need to figure out what makes you happy man... its not something that'll come overnight, but I promise if you dwell on it, eventually you'll figure out what you can do to change.

In my experience people are happiest when:

1. They have all the basic stuff to keep them alive and safe.

2. They feel good about themselves. (self esteem)

3. They're working hard towards something they love in pursuit of a higher cause or goal, but manage to achieve work-life balance.

4. Help others without expecting anything in return.

5. Have a good social support network of friends/family.

Sounds like you have the first one as you have access to good hospital care, but you're gonna need to work on all other points. Life is challenging man, but that's what makes it worth it.

Your nostalgic view of happiness was very carefree but unfortunately its not how the world works when you get older as you highlighted with your posts on bills, taxes, etc. I hate to say it but your fantasies and your belief in destiny aren't realistic and not gonna get you anywhere. The universe tends towards chaos man... that means it'll do anything and everything to wreck your happiness. Its the second law of thermodynamics. If you wanna achieve something or be happy you gotta work at it, its the unfortunate fact about our universe...

Since my early 20s I have worked at constantly improving myself from a career, physical and social standpoint. It wasn't always easy but I'm at a pretty comfortable point in my life right now. I crave more challenge/achievement, and I know I'm gonna have to work my a$$ off for it. Figure out what makes you happy and work for it. It'll probably be a long road, but the journey itself will be well worth it. Remember we are happiest when we work hard at something, dedicate ourself to it and finally achieve it.

Vince Lombardi said it best:

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious”

Your inflammatory bowel disease is definitely a significant set back... overall, I think you're doing a pretty damn good job of handling it. Remember you can figure out strategies for quelling inflammation and then keeping it at bay. A combination of diet/lifestyle changes and medication will help you out. Your prognosis is much better today as we have much more knowledge on these conditions than if you were having these problems 30 years ago.

As far as working out goes, I admire your awareness to the dietary portion of the lifestyle. Most people completely forget this part and thus don't get good results. My advice to you would be to get better and figure out what foods cause inflammation... these are foods you should avoid like the plague. Then you can formulate a diet based on foods you can tolerate and go from there. There's nothing saying that you HAVE to eat a certain way, its just a choice I made as I like being in shape. My build/looks basically fed and clothed me for a couple of years when I was a full time student. At that point I didn't have a choice, as I had to look good to make money to eat. I found my ability to adhere to a good diet was slipping once I finished my stripping career. I decided to compete in bodybuilding as this was a means for bettering my physique, and make me accountable as I don't wanna look like shiit on stage. Personally I do like austerity and the discipline that comes with living like that... However, if you find it that hard to eat clean, then simply don't do it, its not complicated. Only you can decide how important being jacked is. If you really value it that much then you'll make the necessary sacrifices to achieve your goals. Unfortunately, the majority of us don't have the genetics of an NFL football player or pro bodybuilder, and gotta stuff our faces with tons of good food and train our butts off to get results.

Allegory is wrong... I'm a trained CCRN (critical care registered nurse), w/ degrees in molecular bio and nursing, so I have a several years more training/knowledge than an EMT. Let me know if you have any questions regarding your condition (once you are definitively diagnosed), about your medications or treatments... I really hope its ulcerative colitis rather than Crohn's, as your small intestines aren't affected directly in the former.

Hope I didn't do write anything to add to your unhappiness... I'm just telling it like I see it.
 

J. Darko

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I'm still hoping it's nothing chronic. That's my number one dream right now, that the doctors are wrong and it's just a virus or a bunch of bacteria. The small intestine is not affected. The doctors said that nutrient absorption is fine and I can eat whatever I want. My stomach pain attacks are totally random anyway.

All this writing, it's definitely to cleanse my mind. I don't feel offended by your post, don't worry. I appreciate your input. But personally, I don't like to view life as hard work. I'm willing to work hard, but I do not want to experience it as hard work. It's like working out in the gym. People keep telling stories about how you should squat until you die because that is a sacrifice that you have to make to progress, but I've made the best progress in times when I leave the gym with more energy than I entered. If I feel like dying, I don't make any progress at all and I certainly do not enjoy my workout.

So I do not like to view life as hard work and sacrifice in order to be happy. That's a mental drain I'm coping with right now. One of my big goals of my posts is finding a way around that. Look at the gym metaphor again. I get the best results if I work out hard without feeling like I work out hard. I get the worst results if my training kills me. So I want my life to feel easy while living hard. I want to pay the bills without feeling like I pay the bills. I want to go to work without feeling like going to work. I want to diet without feeling like I'm torturing myself. If I can make my life a smooth ride, than maybe I can get better results, just like in the gym. But how...

But you hit the nail right on the head about the factors determining happiness. Like missing social support. I don't have any friends or family visiting me in the hospital. How fcked up is that? I might as well die and nobody would know or care. Got to be more social.

And less thinking in my head, more action in the world.
 

Fuglydude

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Ya, ideally its just an acute episode that'll resolve by itself. Remember though, the gut is VERY heavily innervated. Apart from the central and peripheral nervous systems, many physiologists actually consider the ENS (enteric nervous system) a whole separate branch on its own. Your moods, thoughts, ideas, and general mental state therefore, will affect the health of your digestive tract. Therefore, it is important for you to be try and be positive and happy... I know its really tough given your predicament, but you still need to try as it'll help with your outcome.

You're quite fortunate there's no small intestinal involvement... Its hard to live life properly if you can't absorb the very nutrients you need to keep yourself going. Good to hear also that you're feeling better.

Definitely agree with you on not perceiving stuff as "hard work"... The gym metaphor you gave was great. I think the secret to this is to do something you have an intrinsic interest/affinity for. I LOVE studying electrophysiology/ion channel stuff because its absolutely fascinating to me... Ya I'm a total nerd. Studying that stuff, although mentally taxing, doesn't feel like its tough simply because I really enjoy the material that I learn.

In order to do hard work but not perceive it as hard work you gotta do something you love. I always tell people that the hardest part of my job is getting up in the morning, getting ready and coming to work... once I'm there, its great. Work can get super busy sometimes if there's tons of super sick people around and you're always doing stuff. However, I don't feel like I'm working hard, as I really enjoy my work. I get to use all my training/knowledge and work as a part of team to keep someone's loved one alive and help them get better... And I get paid well for doing it... pretty sweet deal if ya ask me! I could never ever do a desk job as I'd be bored outta my skull.

Confucius put it best:

'Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.'

Similar thing goes in the gym... sometimes I'm not motivated to go, but once I'm there, and have a good pump and feel good, its fantastic!

One thing I've yet to master at not perceiving as hard work is sticking to a diet. I find it mentally taxing. I go through many of the things you stated in a previous post about feeling guilty for not eating every 3 hours when you're out doing stuff, etc. This summer, I'm gonna have to sacrifice camping, something I love, in order to effectively prep for my competition. I'm really not looking forward to that.

This thread is actually pretty cool man... its awesome to see a change in your perception and viewpoint over the course of the whole thing towards becoming more positive... Keep it up.
 

J. Darko

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Seems like we're on the same page, but it's going down again. It's official. I have Crohn and I cried like a little girl. I have already talked a lot about it with doctors, nurses and a lifestyle guide. Every conversation I have tears in my eyes. I have tears in my eyes and want to cry again right now while I'm typing this. It hurts so much.

It all seems to boil down to this: nobody knows anything about the cause disease or how it will behave. But I do know that I keep losing blood and nutrients and I do know that I have to keep taking meds with catabolic side effects.

As if that isn't unfortunate enough, nobody seems to care about my dream of building muscle mass, building endurance, losing bodyfat and compete in a sport at a high level. I told the doctors about my dream many times, but never did they offer me bodybuilding advice. I am going to meet a dietitian though and maybe he can help me realize my dream.

Apparently this is meant to be. Fate screwed me over. Destiny doesn't care about my dreams. Apparently there is no God and I'm nothing more than stardust of inferior quality. Just a bunch of not-so-well-put-together atoms somewhere, sometime in the universe. A weak variety of my species. A shadow of my dreams. A failure. I wanted to be stronger than the rest. Instead I'm weaker.

Fck, fck, fck! Just fck it. Fck everything and fck everyone. I'm going to forget that I have Crohn. I'm going to disable thinking mode and activate action mode. I'm going to train, eat and sleep and take the muscle mass. I'm going to work and take the money. I'm going to travel and take freedom. I'm going to meet my crushes and take their love. I'm going to fight and take victory.

Every moment of every day, I will get stronger and I'm going to take what I want from life and destroy anything that gets in my way!
 
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Fuglydude

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That sucks man... Crohns' can be outright nasty if not managed well. Remember that although its a crappy disease to have, its not life threatening if its well maintained. You still have all your limbs and your central nervous system is intact. You're just gonna have to figure what combination of diet, lifestyle, and medications help you to keep the inflammation at bay. You're gonna have to be the foremost expert in managing your condition. Docs can throw medications at you and tell you to avoid certain foods, but only you will know what combination of the different factors truly work.

I have a good friend. Tall good looking eastern european guy. He's fluent in like 5 different languages has had a few 3somes with HOT asian girls and is currently prepping for his MBA that's being paid for by an international marketing firm... Guess what? He's got Crohns. I remember talking to him when he was first diagnosed. Dude had lose 40 lbs in a couple of months and he said he was getting diarrhea randomly. Now his disease is well controlled and he has a great life.

Once you figure out how to keep the inflammation at bay your life really won't be that different. You may have to go into the hospital if you have flare ups, but Crohn's really is something you can live with provided that you know how to manage it. I would advise not to ignore the fact that you have the disease, but study up on it, and keep track of what foods/lifestyle factors and supplements give your body unfavorable reactions. Conversely, keep track of what foods/supplements/lifestyle factors and medications make you feel good.

Remember Crohns is almost like a "deficiency" of your innate immune system: it basically malfunctions and the chronic inflammation occurs because your adaptive/acquired immune system tries to make up for the shortcomings of the innate immune system. The innate immune system includes all your basic white cells like neutrophils and macrophages as well basic protection mechanisms like lysozyme and complement. Adaptive/acquired immunity are things like T-cells and plasma cells that respond specifically to certain epitopes that enter your body.

Lifestyle factors, foods/supplements and medications that are designed to slow down inflammation may help you manage your condition. Don't ever ask docs for bodybuilding advice. They know how to treat disease... not how you can achieve optimal health in disease states. That's not how docs are trained.

Remember man, there's no such thing as destiny... you gotta make your own way. Some people have luck on their side, and some don't... you were dealt a shiity hand but there's people who have it much much worse. Crohn's is a condition you can live with and still have a VERY fulfilling and happy life. You just gotta know how to control the disease.

Great attitude to have with wanting to fight through it, but remember to fight smart. Know your enemy and act accordingly...
 

J. Darko

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People keep telling me all that but that's not my point so I don't feel understood. So just let's get back to talking about making life an exciting adventure again.
 
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user43770

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J. Darko said:
People keep telling me all that but that's not my point so I don't feel understood. So just let's get back to talking about making life an exciting adventure again.

Don't let it get the best of you. Good luck.
 

J. Darko

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TyTe`EyEz said:
Don't let it get the best of you. Good luck.
Thnx. I'm out of the hospital now and invited the girl for a drink. She invited me to her concert instead. That concert turned out to be a gathering of very religious students with her singing psalms with her friends, followed by a lecture about freedom of sin...

Went for a drink after all that anyway, but it was boring. The only think that happened on the date was us sitting on a chair with her talking for an hour and me listening for an hour.

On the one hand, I am wondering what I can do to make a date exciting. On the other hand I am wondering wether I am being too hard on myself again and should stop analyzing this and forget about it. After all, I have next to no experience with women, but the last time I went on a date, it was literally a walk in the park. We walked in the park, talked, set on a bench and she started staring at me with her eyes commandinf me to kiss her. So I did. It was that easy.

But this time, with this girl nothing happened. What are your thoughts on this?

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It seems like I haven't lost much strength btw. Current stats:

Incline Bench: 85 lbs x 15
Bicep Curl: 50 x 14
One arm Tricep Extension: 20 x 10
Squat: 135 x 10
 
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