Weightlifting, in vain?

[maqnetik]

Of course, I do believe that there are very strong people who don't take drugs, but if you consider that the entire Bulgarian weightlifting team gets suspended, if you consider that the entire Chinese lympic women's swim team gets disqualified, ifyou consider that Ben Johnson was disqualified after he won the 100m sprint...

...you got to wonder who else is using drugs. Is winning not a matter of who gets caught and who doesn't...




Chesticles... Got to love that word.

there are no "accidents"-- MOST professional athletes have used SOMETHING at some point. its not a "coincedence" that theyre all WAY BIGGER with CHISELED CUTS out of a COMIC BOOK than they were 30 years ago. america didnt spontaneously start producing "super kids" in the 1980s-- juice became mainstream, and then in the 1990s began to completely dominate. it simply wasnt discussed openly but that doesnt mean it wasnt accepted as commonplace in high school, college, and pro locker rooms.

for those of you interested in the FACTS check out bigger stronger faster its a GREAT documentary on steroid use in pro/ametuer sports:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j0nmJ0_cvc

 

[Being_the_Don]

I should definately get some chalk to enhance my grip strength. I do think almost everyone uses steroids these days, but I also believe in hard work to get what you want.

I don't use steroids. The way I see it, we can only truly appreciate our accomplishments if we make it on our own steam. Just lift clean and believe in yourself.

 

[J. Darko]

I don't use steroids. The way I see it, we can only truly appreciate our accomplishments if we make it on our own steam. Just lift clean and believe in yourself.

Yes I will. When I began weightlifting, my father made me promise I would never use steroids. I saw the documentary btw and I recognize a lot of myself in these guys. But they are insane. One of these guys takes steroids so he can be the best in some kind of powerlifting meet and get an applause from like, 10 people who pretend they care how much he can bench press.

I guess weightlifting should not be serious business after all.

 

[J. Darko]

You're right Espi, I do have a 'this or that' mentality, because putting in more effort also means burning out faster. As a result of severe financial, social and mental problems that can't be solved easily, if at all, I can't even handle a little stress these days.

Right now I'mall I do is benching, curling and leg pressing but I'm already having trouble to recover and progress. My diet is A+, but I can't sleep and I'm walking around with pain in my stomach that is probably caused by worrying too much.

So I better have the 'this or that mentality' to prevent a burn out.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

J. Darko I lose strength very fast as well, and the only thing that keeps me in shape is the knowledge that any mistreatment of my body - either over-working it or under-working it, will cause long term setbacks with respect to my fitness goals.

If you've got daily pain in your stomach, you might want to see a GI doctor. You may have some issues with what you're eating and it may be contributing to physical health problems. Not being able to sleep every night can be an indicator of thyroid problems. Or maybe you could benefit from some mindful meditation to balance out your high levels of activity and stress with your need for relaxation. A 20-30 minute session of properly executed meditation can give you the equivalent of a 4 hour nap in terms of rest and stress relief.

Why do both extreme sports and weight lifting if it's going to burn you out? I mean I'd like to be a financial advisor for a major banking corp. and a principle investigator at an academic institution, but there are only so many hours in the day and I had to choose one over the other. Make some choices about who you are and how you define yourself and what you want to do in your spare time, and then execute!

 

[J. Darko]

"Can't" is a diseased word...eliminate it from your vocabulary...or replace it with "won't" don't" or "choose not to":

I WONT handle a little stress...
I DONT handle a little stress...
I CHOOSE NOT TO handle a little stress...

No, you don't know what you are talking about. I've never met my family, I haven't talked to my parents for years now, I don't have friends, I've never had a girlfriend, I've been bullied for years, every birthday I'm alone, every Christmas I'm alone, every New Years Eve I'm alone, I study hard and still get low grades,

And you are telling me I should just change my mindset? No, you don't know what you are talking about.

Despite all the misery I'm always confident, I'm always smiling, I'm always looking forward to the next day, I'm always meeting new people, I'm always studying hard, I'm always working hard but no matter how hard I try, I've never had any succes and still I never complained or limited myself. I've always chosen not to be limited by my problems. I've always chosen to keep on going, to fix things rather than to worry about things, to say ''I can'' rather than ''I can't''.

But you know, as days and years go by, the problems are going to haunt you in your sleep, they are going to make you ill more frequently, they are going to consume your thoughts, they are going to devour your energy, no matter how hard you try to stay positive.

So, if you don't have any legs, you can't walk right? Now imagine you don't have parents, family, friends, girls, or succes in anything try, for years. Now you understand that I can't handle stress. So I have to crawl.

 

[Myangel]

This information is useful,thanks a lot!

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

J. Darko there are some things that MAY help your situation a little bit.

It seems like you blame your past situation for your current situation. I actually feel similarly about a couple of things in my life. I have always had difficulty connecting with people and making new friends. I blame much of it on my lack of social skills, mostly caused by poor social role models as parents (a fairly antisocial father) and repeatedly changing school systems until high school. What sets me apart from you is that I found those role models to fill the gap.

Every time I met someone from whom I thought I could learn significantly, I watched and studied what they did and how they interacted with people. I basically took mental notes of their posture, body language, responses, conversational styles, etc... This included while at work or school, where I was around some of these people but maybe not actually involved in the conversation being had or not really participating. Observation is the key to understanding.

In fact it was THIS website that introduced me to many of those aspects of a personality at all... I was just completely unaware of the dynamics of conversation and interaction - both verbal and non-verbal. I was very intimidated by attractive women, and also intimidated by alpha men. Over the years my confidence grew as I took it step-by-step and worked on applying my observations (again I want to reiterate that the fact that I was looking for these attributes at all was entirely due to this forum/the bible) to real world situations, exploring how peoples' perceptions of me could change as I said and did different things. Mimicry will get your somewhere if your own ideas are getting you nowhere. Eventually my own personality overtook the personas that I had been mimicking, leaving me with the social skills that I had observed with a sense of individuality and independence from the original, and I expect the same happens for others.

Fast forward 10, almost 11, years (yes my original forum joining date on my original account was 2000), and I've got much higher confidence that I'd ever have thought possible. Thanks to the hard lessons learned by observing and in some cases outright asking people for critiques, I have become a social person, capable of making decent idle conversation, able to handle myself in almost any normal social setting, and able to avoid saying something so stupid that a girl I'm talking to decides that she isn't going to sleep with me.

I don't think that my post is overly-positive about my current situation. I would say that I've gained no mastery in any aspect of social skills (I am not a PUA and don't always pick up on social qeueus), but I guess you could say that I've overcome my antisocial upbringing to achieve a measure of adequacy that makes me F-able and dateable.

Have you tried positive affirmations? They have helped me a great deal. For instance, when I'm going into a social situation, I pick three adjectives and tell myself that I will be those things i.e. "Tonight I'm going to be confident, funny, and shivalrous" or something like that.

I also have to regularly remind myself some of the things I read on Pook's "15-lessons" post, which you can find on the DJ Bible. Most importantly, that Regret is far worse than failure.

Specifically, I have questions about your situation.
1. What are your SPECIFIC weaknesses when interacting with people in general. Does the conversation die? Do they get angry at you? Do you argue a lot? Do they walk away unexpectedly?

2. You study and spend a lot of time alone. How often do you exercise? It's amazing how addictive it becomes after a while. I'm sitting here with a terrible head cold and I'm going to walk outisde into the 15-degree weather to go to the gym to do some back/chest because I literally crave it beacuse I've been doing it consistently now for 2+ years. Also, you don't have to be steriods-big to have an incredibly attractive body. I know, because it's very difficult for me to gain weight, but once I put on a little muscle it changes things for me, drastically, with women.

3. How old are you?

4. Have you actually tried cutting dairy or gluten out of your diet for a few days? Sleep problems are terrible, and they may be related to your stomach pain. Do you eat ANY fruit? If not, then incorporating fruits int your diet may completely take care of your stomach pains and sleeping problems.

I'm looking forward to hearing your answers. Feel free to message them to me if you don't want to post.

 

[J. Darko]

J. Darko there are some things that MAY help your situation a little bit.

It seems like you blame your past situation for your current situation. I actually feel similarly about a couple of things in my life. I have always had difficulty connecting with people and making new friends. I blame much of it on my lack of social skills, mostly caused by poor social role models as parents (a fairly antisocial father) and repeatedly changing school systems until high school. What sets me apart from you is that I found those role models to fill the gap.

Every time I met someone from whom I thought I could learn significantly, I watched and studied what they did and how they interacted with people. I basically took mental notes of their posture, body language, responses, conversational styles, etc... This included while at work or school, where I was around some of these people but maybe not actually involved in the conversation being had or not really participating. Observation is the key to understanding.

In fact it was THIS website that introduced me to many of those aspects of a personality at all... I was just completely unaware of the dynamics of conversation and interaction - both verbal and non-verbal. I was very intimidated by attractive women, and also intimidated by alpha men. Over the years my confidence grew as I took it step-by-step and worked on applying my observations (again I want to reiterate that the fact that I was looking for these attributes at all was entirely due to this forum/the bible) to real world situations, exploring how peoples' perceptions of me could change as I said and did different things. Mimicry will get your somewhere if your own ideas are getting you nowhere. Eventually my own personality overtook the personas that I had been mimicking, leaving me with the social skills that I had observed with a sense of individuality and independence from the original, and I expect the same happens for others.

Fast forward 10, almost 11, years (yes my original forum joining date on my original account was 2000), and I've got much higher confidence that I'd ever have thought possible. Thanks to the hard lessons learned by observing and in some cases outright asking people for critiques, I have become a social person, capable of making decent idle conversation, able to handle myself in almost any normal social setting, and able to avoid saying something so stupid that a girl I'm talking to decides that she isn't going to sleep with me.

I don't think that my post is overly-positive about my current situation. I would say that I've gained no mastery in any aspect of social skills (I am not a PUA and don't always pick up on social qeueus), but I guess you could say that I've overcome my antisocial upbringing to achieve a measure of adequacy that makes me F-able and dateable.

Have you tried positive affirmations? They have helped me a great deal. For instance, when I'm going into a social situation, I pick three adjectives and tell myself that I will be those things i.e. "Tonight I'm going to be confident, funny, and shivalrous" or something like that.

I also have to regularly remind myself some of the things I read on Pook's "15-lessons" post, which you can find on the DJ Bible. Most importantly, that Regret is far worse than failure.

Specifically, I have questions about your situation.
1. What are your SPECIFIC weaknesses when interacting with people in general. Does the conversation die? Do they get angry at you? Do you argue a lot? Do they walk away unexpectedly?

2. You study and spend a lot of time alone. How often do you exercise? It's amazing how addictive it becomes after a while. I'm sitting here with a terrible head cold and I'm going to walk outisde into the 15-degree weather to go to the gym to do some back/chest because I literally crave it beacuse I've been doing it consistently now for 2+ years. Also, you don't have to be steriods-big to have an incredibly attractive body. I know, because it's very difficult for me to gain weight, but once I put on a little muscle it changes things for me, drastically, with women.

3. How old are you?

4. Have you actually tried cutting dairy or gluten out of your diet for a few days? Sleep problems are terrible, and they may be related to your stomach pain. Do you eat ANY fruit? If not, then incorporating fruits int your diet may completely take care of your stomach pains and sleeping problems.

I'm looking forward to hearing your answers. Feel free to message them to me if you don't want to post.

I'm 22. I've already looked for role models. but I can't mimic them. They can get away with things I can't get away with and people respond differently to them.
First example, if I make a joke, nobody is laughing and some people even scold me. But if they make the exact same joke, everyone is laughing. Second example, they can walk up to a girl and say ''hey beautiful'' and then they kiss her hand. Girls love it. However, If I do that, girls are like ''Who do you think you are?''
It's a catch 22. These guys, these role models, have the status and the women so they can get away with things and gain even more status and women. I don't have status or women so I can't get away with anything and gain no status or women. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

I have multiple weaknesses when interacting with people in general. For example, I like to play the devil's advocate and I'm a know-it-all. Since I know this, I'm working on keeping my mouth shut and showing understanding, because there's only a handful of people who like devil's advocates and know-it-alls. Also, it's hard for me to keep a conversation going, but I'm already working on this weakness by being a better listener.

My main weakness when interacting with people in general is that people don't seem to be interested in talking to me. Though nerdy people, people with problems, bullied people, gay people and all kinds of low status people like to bore me to death with endless chit chat about their problems and nerdy things, because I listen to them. But when I take the initiative in talking to girls and popular people, it seems like I'm the one boring them to death, wether I'm talking or listening. Even worse, often I don't have anything to say at all.
Sometimes this gets me labeled as ''shy'', even though I'm not shy at all. No problem with talking and taking the initiative, but don't have anything to say and I do not feel welcome or wanted. A random guy walks up to a girl in a club says hi and how are you doing and gets fcked almost instantly. I walk up to a girl in a club says hi and how are you doing and get short answers and the cold shoulder. I've stopped trying. I mean, girls never show any interest in me and everytime I take the initiative I get shot down. I'm tired. It doesn't make me stronger, it ony leaves more scar tissue. I'm too good to be shot down and I won't let my ego get crushed ever again.

There's just something wrong with me and I think I know what it is. I look young, have a friendly face, I'm shorter than average with 5'10'' and I'm build with a narrow bone structure. This means that my body doesn't project masculinity and doesn't demand respect by default. Coupled with no social status it's a deadly combination. It's a social death warrant. A 40-year-old virgin guarantee. If I'm lucky, I will look more manly in about 10 years, have a good job with a big social network and then girls my age will suddenly fall for me because masculinity and status is all they care about. Love doesn't exist. That's what I think my future will be but by that time, I will be even more cold and bitter than I am now and turn out to be the American Psycho like Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman, a rich investment banker that chases women with a chainsaw.

I exercise everyday and I'm cutting gluten or diary. They are my life source. I eat at least 2 pieces of fruit every day. I stop drinking water hours before bedtime, but keep waking up to pee. It must be stress.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I'm 22. I've already looked for role models. but I can't mimic them. They can get away with things I can't get away with and people respond differently to them.

I never had a role model either or anyone in my life to show me anything, now I just don't care anymore and instead do my own thing.

Now that you've identified your various shortcomings, what are you going to do about them?

 

[J. Darko]

I never had a role model either or anyone in my life to show me anything, now I just don't care anymore and instead do my own thing.

Now that you've identified your various shortcomings, what are you going to do about them?

There's nothing I can do about it. I'm having insomnia/depression/fatigue/shortness of breath/sickness/tiredness/terrible headache right now and as soon I recover from that I live my life to the max. Finish my education, get a job, go out and meets lots of people and seize every opportunity to get and keep social contacts. There's nothing more I can do.

 

[user43770]

I'm 22. I've already looked for role models. but I can't mimic them. They can get away with things I can't get away with and people respond differently to them.
First example, if I make a joke, nobody is laughing and some people even scold me. But if they make the exact same joke, everyone is laughing. If a person can't take a joke, fvck 'em. Second example, they can walk up to a girl and say ''hey beautiful'' and then they kiss her hand. Girls love it. However, If I do that, girls are like ''Who do you think you are?''
Fist of all, kissing a hand is extremely gay. You shouldn't be doing that anyway. That is all.
It's a catch 22. These guys, these role models, have the status and the women so they can get away with things and gain even more status and women. I don't have status or women so I can't get away with anything and gain no status or women. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
These guys you're speaking of have confidence. Especially if they're kissing girls hands (douchebags). Anybody can display confidence. On the inside you can depressed, but it doesn't mean you have to show it to the world.

I have multiple weaknesses when interacting with people in general. For example, I like to play the devil's advocate and I'm a know-it-all. Since I know this, I'm working on keeping my mouth shut and showing understanding, because there's only a handful of people who like devil's advocates and know-it-alls. Smart. Nobody likes the guy who tries to make them feel stupid or inferior. It's good to use on women in small doses, but never a man. Also, it's hard for me to keep a conversation going, but I'm already working on this weakness by being a better listener.

My main weakness when interacting with people in general is that people don't seem to be interested in talking to me. Though nerdy people, people with problems, bullied people, gay people and all kinds of low status people like to bore me to death with endless chit chat about their problems and nerdy things, because I listen to them. One thing I've learned over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. The fact that you're listening to these people and not judging them means a lot. Don't change that.But when I take the initiative in talking to girls and popular people, it seems like I'm the one boring them to death, wether I'm talking or listening. The fact that you're talking about "popular" people makes me think you're young. Popularity doesn't mean sh1t when you get older. At least not in my experience. Anybody can be popular, though. Just do some crazy sh1t that everybody will hear about. Even worse, often I don't have anything to say at all. Me neither. So what? Stop being so hard on yourself.
Sometimes this gets me labeled as ''shy'', even though I'm not shy at all. No problem with talking and taking the initiative, but don't have anything to say and I do not feel welcome or wanted. A random guy walks up to a girl in a club says hi and how are you doing and gets fcked almost instantly. Try not to compare yourself to other people. It only leads to jealousy or vanity. Some people do certain things better than you, some people do them worse. Don't base your self-worth on what other people can or can't do. I walk up to a girl in a club says hi and how are you doing and get short answers and the cold shoulder. I've stopped trying. Keep trying. Never let them get the best of you. You're better than they are. Remember that.I mean, girls never show any interest in me and everytime I take the initiative I get shot down. I'm tired. It doesn't make me stronger, it ony leaves more scar tissue. I'm too good to be shot down and I won't let my ego get crushed ever again.You know what separates the winners from the losers? Persistence. I believe that's a Churchill quote.

There's just something wrong with me and I think I know what it is. I look young, have a friendly face, I'm shorter than average with 5'10'' and I'm build with a narrow bone structure. This means that my body doesn't project masculinity and doesn't demand respect by default. Stop focusing on what you don't have. If you want to big then do it. How about you think about what you do have. You're above average in height. How about that? Coupled with no social status it's a deadly combination. It's a social death warrant. A 40-year-old virgin guarantee. If I'm lucky, I will look more manly in about 10 years, have a good job with a big social network and then girls my age will suddenly fall for me because masculinity and status is all they care about. Love doesn't exist. That's what I think my future will be but by that time, I will be even more cold and bitter than I am now and turn out to be the American Psycho like Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman, a rich investment banker that chases women with a chainsaw.Not if you have peace of mind. Focus on you're strengths, improve your weaknesses. Take pride in your achievements. If there is one thing you need to do, it's to become comfortable with who you are as a person.

You're too negative. Do you think success with women is going to bring you happiness? Think again. They bring drama, hurt and frustration. Does that mean you shouldn't enjoy them for what they're worth? Of course not. This applies to all aspects of life; enjoy it for what it's worth. Focus on the good rather than the bad. Nobody likes a negative person.

Another thing, don't start planning on 10 years from now. That's the worst thing you can do. When people do that, they forget about the present. They don't try to be the best they can be NOW, because their future is gonna be so great. Don't get me wrong, it's good to have something to look forward to, but that doesn't mean that you should give up on the present. You should think about what you have to accomplish TODAY. This applies to working out as well - don't think about the big picture, think about you're current workout. Think about how it's only gonna take an hour out of your day. What would you do in that hour if you didn't work out? Probably jack off and watch tv. It's only an hour.

I exercise everyday and I'm cutting gluten or diary. They are my life source. I eat at least 2 pieces of fruit every day. I stop drinking water hours before bedtime, but keep waking up to pee. It must be stress.Or something medical...maybe you should see a doctor rather than listening to a bunch of sosuavers. You might have an enlarged prostate or some sh1t.

In bold.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I see, so you're in the spiral of despair. You're not around people and it makes you depressed and because you're depressed you don't feel like being around people.

Sucks. Been there and it sucks.

I made some physical changes to reduce the effects of the depression as well as heavy on the supplements. I didn't want to go to the doctor and get lithium or any of those drugs. I've heard bad things about them being addictive. I'm still prone to depression but I have much more control after a lifestyle change. The biggest difference I think was more effective ways to deal with stress and a diet and supplement routine to help my body deal with stress.

 

[J. Darko]

In bold.

I'll take it to heart. People always say that you should think about this and that. But I noticed that thinking contributes to my depression. The fog in my brain clears up when I stop thinking about what I'm doing and just do. I guess that's my body giving me a hint.

I see, so you're in the spiral of despair.

Exactly, and many more. Not only people, but also tasks. I feel too tired to accomplish anything, but if I accomplish something I feel better. Too tired to go out for a walk and clean up the house, but going out for a walk and cleaning up the house makes me feel energetic. It's horrible to get out of bed, but staying in bed makes going out of bed even more horrible.

So I just get up and do something. I have to.

 

[runner83]

"...It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" -

Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa

I broke my arm a few weeks back. Even now there is pain. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow and it is likely that I will have to get a pin installed in surgery.

But I keep moving forward.

Man up, stop your whinging.

2 weeks ago, I was ripped and fresh off nailing a girl I met in a club for the first date...with 7 other girl in line to meet me.

Now, my arm is broken and I can't even put a shirt on without feeling some pain.

But I keep moving forward and don't give up. Why?

Because I am a man.

 

[J. Darko]

Well guys, I guess I'm getting cured from depression right now, the hard way. I mean, I'm spending this week in a hospital because of life threatening blood anemia and severe stomach pain. That explains why I nearly fainted from doing a set of bicep curls. Seriously.

Now all the depressed thinking seems so silly. All that matters now is to be healthy again and make the most of life. Quite the eye-opener.

 

[J. Darko]

Fck...

I'm diagnosed with a chronic illness. I'll have to use meds everyday. It's incurable. I'll be sick 'til I die. Inflammable bowel/ Probably Crohn or something. Why? Why Me? This isn't f*cking fair. Now How do I achieve my goals...

How can you lift weights, if your body is losing blood inside and doesn't take up the nutrients.

How will I be a CEO if can't work hard because of the pain in my stomach.

How will I be a good fighter if I can't take blow to the gut?

I'm screwed over by life.

 

[runner83]

That is a tough break.

I think the advice on here was based on the assumption that you were otherwise healthy, but if you have a major illness, you have to focus on dealing with that.

But unfortunately, crying about it your situation won't help one bit. You have to stay positive and do the best with what you are given.

I can only hope that if something major ever happened to me like that, that I would still keep fighting.

Good luck.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I'm diagnosed with a chronic illness. I'll have to use meds everyday. It's incurable. I'll be sick 'til I die. Inflammable bowel/ Probably Crohn or something. Why? Why Me? This isn't f*cking fair. Now How do I achieve my goals...

Life isn't fair. Now the best thing you can do is find out how to treat the disease.

How can you lift weights, if your body is losing blood inside and doesn't take up the nutrients.

Hell if I know. I also have the same problem (random free bleeding) and I have an appointment with a general surgeon at the end of the month to see what the hell is causing it. All I can tell you is that I understand how difficult it is. My body feels slow and I don't have energy. I hope it's not Chron's but he said this is one of the causes. I also bleed pretty freely when I get cut so I'm hoping that's the cause instead. At least you have to take medication instead of surgery to remove the diseased parts, that's your silver lining. It could be much worse.

The medication they gave you, it's an immunosuppressant isn't it?

If it makes you feel any better, you're probably not going to die from this. Just follow the proper treatments and you will be fine.

FYI, look into something called a fecal transplant or fecal bacteriotherapy. It's a very promising treatment that works for ulcerative colitis which is also an inflammatory disease. Yes, it's a very nasty treatment. Yes, it's supposed to work for most patients. More info on what the treatment is: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Fecal_bacteriotherapy

Message Fuglydude on the forums here for more info, medical wise. He's trained as an EMT if I'm not mistaken so he will be able to help with general medical questions, more as information for you to understand than medical advice.

 

[J. Darko]

That is a tough break.

I think the advice on here was based on the assumption that you were otherwise healthy, but if you have a major illness, you have to focus on dealing with that.

But unfortunately, crying about it your situation won't help one bit. You have to stay positive and do the best with what you are given.

I can only hope that if something major ever happened to me like that, that I would still keep fighting.

Good luck.

Thnx. It's not definitive just yet. There's a tiny bit of hope, a tiny bit... I guess it's best to just forget about it and live life to the max.

Life isn't fair. Now the best thing you can do is find out how to treat the disease.



Hell if I know. I also have the same problem (random free bleeding) and I have an appointment with a general surgeon at the end of the month to see what the hell is causing it. All I can tell you is that I understand how difficult it is. My body feels slow and I don't have energy. I hope it's not Chron's but he said this is one of the causes. I also bleed pretty freely when I get cut so I'm hoping that's the cause instead. At least you have to take medication instead of surgery to remove the diseased parts, that's your silver lining. It could be much worse.

The medication they gave you, it's an immunosuppressant isn't it?

If it makes you feel any better, you're probably not going to die from this. Just follow the proper treatments and you will be fine.

FYI, look into something called a fecal transplant or fecal bacteriotherapy. It's a very promising treatment that works for ulcerative colitis which is also an inflammatory disease. Yes, it's a very nasty treatment. Yes, it's supposed to work for most patients. More info on what the treatment is: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Fecal_bacteriotherapy

Message Fuglydude on the forums here for more info, medical wise. He's trained as an EMT if I'm not mistaken so he will be able to help with general medical questions, more as information for you to understand than medical advice.

Sorry to hear you have medical problems as well. Are you still able to work and go to the gym? I hope so.

They are giving me prednisone, iron and blood. I'n not worried about the treatment, but my dreams are shattered.

I've always wanted to grow up like a superhuman being. A strong man that doesn't need to eat, or sleep. A man that is never tired and can take ten bullets to the heart and still live. A man that works 100 hours every week, looks like a model and fights like a super saiyan. Instoppable. Power level over 9000. That dream is shattered.

I can't accept that I might be up to an invisible opponent for the rest of my life, that he's lurking in the dark ambushing me at random and I might never get rid of him, only battle him when he rears his ugly head. Vegeta doesn't have crohn. Dirty Harry doesn't have crohn. Rambo doesn't have crohn. I can't have it either.

That's about how I feel right now.

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But I guess I should stop thinking again. I guess my mindset still needs some work. How do you live? If you get up, do you just have breakfast and enjoy your food? Without thinking about going to work, or what's on tv, or how much reps you should bench press today? And if you work, do you just do your job, without thinking about how you might fail or succeed, or what your boss thinks of your work? If you go to the gym, do you just concentrate on feeling your muscles working, or are you thinking about how much proteine you should take after your workout or how many sets would be optimal today? Are you surfing the net as well, always looking for the optimal way to do things, searching for information on the optimal hours of sleep, effect of olive oil on testosterone, best type of dates with girls...I find myself doing that all the time.

Should I just turn on the auto-pilot? Metaphorically speaking, not thinking about anything, analysing anything, searching for loads information on anything.

Like a casual card game: just deal with the hand your given and let the cards fall where they may? Just play the game and enjoy it, without a care in the world about what cards your opponents are dealt, or about the way cards fall or about the moves of you and your opponents in the past or the future.

Is that it? Is life that simple? That effortless? Just enjoy the game? Just enjoy eating, sleeping, training, working, socializing and the health, the muscles, the women and the money will follow without having to think about it, analyse it, or gathering information about it?

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By the way, I met a girl and I guess she likes me without me doing anything special. I mean, I'm in the hospital, I'm a zombie and just talked and listened. That's all I did. Not alfa at all, no negs, not carrying myself as a king or presenting myself as a leader. Just talked and listened for a few seconds while being in one of the worst physical states and she actually likes me. Gave me a phone number and agreed to date sometime when I get better. It's such a...strange world. Just suddenly, out of nowhere, at random, a girl shows interest. Mad world...