weight gain

[poppo]

I posted this exact message at another discussion forum and got absolutely flamed for it. Am I an Assh*le? Or is that other forum just a big bunch of b*tches. Also If you wanna comment on it, I'd be more than happy to accept them, Thanks!

Guys,

I am at a total loss. My girlfriend of over 2 years has put on some pounds recently. I'm 24 and she's 21. I've pulled hot girls, so I can go out another one, however this girl is the 1st that I've truely enjoyed being around as a person too.

Her looks are acceptable now, but if she keeps going where she is going, she might get below my standards, and that would leave me a decision I don't want to make.

Please give me some advice, I had to get this off of my chest as its been really bothering me lately.

Thank God for the anonymousness of the internet,
-Poppo

 

[TizZle]

Two years is minimal time... Maybe you should encourage her to go jogging with you sometime or go to the gym with you. That's my suggestion.

 

[milkman]

You like her personality, but she is getting "ugly" soon. You have three alternatives.

1. Lower your standards.

2. Keep her as a normal friend and search for a hottie. One girl to talk to and one for the bed, or the kitchen table, or the back seat...

3. Try to change her lifestyle and make her wishing for a gym membership to christmas.


(1) wouldn´t make you happy in the long-run and chances are good that (3) wouldn´t work. Therefore, stick with (2).

[But if you would say that you really love this girl and she is the ONE, don´t expect advise, that asked too much of me.]

 

[Fenderules]

well if thats how you feel you must express is some way otherwise she will just keep getting fatter and fatter and you will begin to loose interest and perhaps resent her. I know they say "its not whats on the outside"


but hey thats not ture. I mean i can understand growing old and getting ugly or if im married and she ends up doing something beyond her control

But when she is letting herself go its not attractive at all. Its simply the fact that she is not caring about herself enought to deal with it. I mean the ugly part is the one thing but the biggest concern i have is her health. do i wanna be with someone that is gonna die an early life cause they didnt take care of themselves??? hell no! I want someone to grow old with!




At the very least if you dont want to say its gonna make her unattractive to you cause she is ugly just say it worries you cause youd dont wanna be with someone that lets their health go to ****. That she has control over

 

[Fenderules]

if you have a girl in the right place she will do antying for your as long as you dont leave. Tell her you will leave if she lets herself go to ****. If she truly cares about you she'll be going to the gym in no time

 

[Vincent]

Originally posted by milkman
1. Lower your standards.

See sig...

 

[poppo]

thanks for the replies so far, I'm glad that you guys at least understand where I'm coming from.

I won't lower my standards which is why if this continues I will have to make a very very tough decision

-poppo

 

[Vincent]

Originally posted by poppo
I won't lower my standards which is why if this continues I will have to make a very very tough decision

Just tell her that you aren't comfortable with her weight and that you think that if you're staying in shape she should too. If she can't handle that, dump that b*tch.

 

[Aztec]

I don't blame you for your concerns about this. If my girlfriend does that, I will reprimand her and tell her about health issues that are attached from being overweight.


Personally, I prefer my women petite and a little fat is considerable. That's just me and everyone has its own preference.


Yup, I'm glad for internet anonymity.

 

[skinnydart]

I wouldn't bring it up to her, even in a passing comment. If she's like any other female out there, she is very concious about her weight, and is probably very aware of the problem/doing something to fix it.

I mean, is she like not at all concered about it as far as you can tell? (i.e couch potoato, not sparing with junk food) or do you notice her being someone concious about it.

At least that's the way all the girls I've known are like, like it's almost hard to get any girl I've known an ice cream cone, they're like "no way!" and then won't even finish the desert I paid for even though it still looks "so tempting" and I'm like "good grief, whats the big deal!?"

 

[Aztec]

Originally posted by skinnydart
...then won't even finish the desert I paid for even though it still looks "so tempting" and I'm like "good grief, whats the big deal!?"

Haha! Don't you hate when they do that? Well more food for you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

DTB - Dump that b!tch. Why do you have a girlfriend at all at 24? Let alone one for 2 years? Don't consider monogamy until you're at least 28.

I'd suggest moving on for 2 reasons. One, she's comfortable enough after 2 years (at 19-21 y.o.!) to stop taking care of herself for you. It wont get better if she doesn't learn this. At that young she's obviously got (or has been taught) that she can 'stop trying' after you've been with a guy for a year or so. Two, she's aware of her weight and your reaction to it (consciously or unconsciously) and like most women with this 'stop trying' mind-set she will initiate measures to keep you involved when she sees you losing interest (like getting clingy emotionally or 'accidentally' becoming pregnant).

Be careful.

 

[bud1971]

I would definitely not bring this up with her, I have been where you are...trust me. The best indicator of what she will look like later on is her mom. So if her mother does not have her own gravity field you may consider leading by example, and start exercising and eating healthy.

 

[DeathDealer]

Well, she's gone out with you for more than a year, hint or tell her that it's better to lose some weight. Take charge man!

 

[Alpine]

The only way you can have your cake and eat it is to tell her she can't eat hers.

I think it's only fair to tell her if she gets porky, she won't be physically attractive to you and you will leave her.

Now 'the way' you tell her this means all the difference in the world, but there's a good chance it will work out and you both will be happy.

Keep her in the basement for a week or two would be a good start. Soups and liquid meals initially, then slowly introduce low cal. solid food. Keep the chain long so she can move around a bit, this will help increase calorie expediture.

Hope this helps.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Try to bring up anecdotes or whatever about you or other guys finding their girlfriends unattractive because of weight they'd put on and then possibly dumping them. That way she'll get the message, and hopefully won't get pissed at you in the process.

Why do you have a girlfriend at all at 24? Let alone one for 2 years? Don't consider monogamy until you're at least 28.

True. Avoid forming relationships at all until you are 28 years old. That's the golden rule my pappy always told me.