Weighing the risk of professional repercussions when hooking up/dating

[Starting_Over_At_32]

Looking for some advice from some of the more experienced DJs on the "mature" forum. I've recently found myself back in the dating pool for the first time since college and am quickly realizing professional life adds a few new obstacles to the process that didn't exist when I was a student.

Specifically, I'm curious to hear from DJs that have successfully or not so successfully managed to hookup and/or date women associated with work. Not necessarily co-workers, but employees of client companies.

I ask, because fear over professional repercussions caused me to bail on a sure thing with a 23 yo HB8 at an industry event last week.

Now I wasn't bringing her home that night (she was driving multiple co-workers home), but had the number and probably a little fun outside the bar before leaving if I wanted it. And honestly, she'd have been the hottest thing I've gotten since my separation/divorce if I had gone for it. Seemed like a no-brainer.

Just one major problem, she's an intern for a major client. A major client owned by a 30 something divorcee who seems to have something against men in general and me in particular (not sure what I ever did to her). So as the night ended and the two of us exited the bar, I began to think about how her boss would respond to me (recently divorced) having any involvement with her intern, and more specifically, could said involvement cause me to lose the account.

I was left with a split second decision as we reached the cars. Make a move and risk professional repercussions, or bail and give up on a sure thing with a hot 23 yo. Needless to say, upper brain over ruled lower in this instance, and I bailed (much to her confusion).

Now I find myself wondering if playing it safe was the right call, or if I should have just said F work and gone for it.

Any of the professionals among the DJ ranks have thoughts on how I should handle this type of situation if it comes up again. Don't want to risk professional damage to get laid, but sure hate throwing away good opportunities when they arise.

 

[bmp2cpm]

1)Put your career first and women second, always
2) Women like men who have successful careers. Risking your career for 1 woman means risking your attractiveness to all women forever. Not worth it.

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to SS.

Dating women from work can be a risky game. I was hot in pants after a 19yo hottie at my work late last year and my fellow brothers here on SS talked me out of going for it. I'm glad I did now. This girl has become kind of a b|tch and I probably dodged a bullet.

What really worries me about your situation is the fact that the client company is owned by a 30 something woman. IMO 30s women are the worst of all age groups, the most vindictive and ruthless. The business owner probably hates men because she was "abused" in the past, either by some guy who bought her McDonalds when she wanted Taco Bell, or some guy who really did beat the snot out of her because she wouldnt shut her mouth and give him the respect he was entitled to.. If she is in her 30s and running a business, she is probably over her head and thus even more of a b|tch. Also, given the fact that she doesnt like you, I imagine this client business owner would have no quams about destroying you personally and professionally if you touch her "property", the 23yo. I imagine she would make all the drama and chaos out of it she could.

You made the right call. This was a nuke bomb ready to blow with you at ground zero, and you dodged it well.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Don't get involved with women at work.

Why is this so difficult to understand? How many threads on SS alone have there been on this subject? For the most part I've found that men who pursue women at work are usually just lazy or have low self-esteem.

 

[VladPatton]

Your work comes first, you did the right thing. If you get fired tomorrow and are on the street, that cute, hot lil 23 year old isn't gonna do sh!t to help you. You gotta go with the hardcore priorities, man.

 

[Mike32ct]

Lots of people hook up at work. But it's EVERYBODY ELSE that doesn't get in trouble. Your luck isn't guaranteed if you try it. So don't go there. It's not worth it.

 

[sodbuster]

The most you could have done is let her know you don't date women with work issues like this..... and see if she contacts you when she's NOT an intern for that company. BUT even THAT would carry risk if she wasn't into it.

Maybe you could have told her she'd make a good friend. Get her on FB and wait until she was in the clear as far as the work issue.... but that's a WHOLE lot of maybe.....

Generally NOT worth it