"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Weeknight dates versus weekend dates?

V

vorbis

Senior Don Juan
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In general, I tend to organize all my dates during the week. However, I'm now wondering if thats a mistake on my part. Friday night and Saturday night in my book were for hanging out with friends. I still believe a first date should be on a week night. However for subsequent dates, a week night has several disadvantages that I didn't quite notice before

  1. Can make logistics awkward if she lives far away from you (hard for her to stay over)
  2. Limits the amount of alcohol ye can have (don't mean getting hammered but a few extra drinks can help seal the deal)
  3. Makes some girls feel that they're not that important to you (Had a girl ask me why I always took her out during the week)

What do people here do? I'm now thinking that if I don't get action on the 2nd date that the 3rd date should be on a weekend night. This would make it easier for the girl to stay over.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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F

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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I also save weekends for hanging out with friends and weeknights for spinning plates. The thing to ask yourself is whether the woman had earned the right to see you on the weekend. As for your bullet points:
  1. If she is good enough to stay over, maybe you should see her occasionally on the weekend, maybe just the morning or afternoon to start.
  2. If you feel the need to use alcohol to loosen her up, maybe she isn't worth seeing on the weekend. Ask yourself if she is really into you. If she is, why the alcohol?
  3. This is the main reason not to see women on the weekend. They need to qualify themselves to merit you dedicating a portion of your weekend to them. Not just anyone can have that privileged. :up:
I always start off seeing women during the week. Once they're qualified (in several areas) I may set up a Saturday afternoon meeting which could last into the evening. If she's highly qualified, I'll give her the evening which could roll into the next morning.

However, if she offers to set me up of an overnight stay during the week, I may take her up on her offer (depending on what I'm doing the next day). Plus this is one of the things that would work out in her favor in me seeing her on a weekend.
 
M

md3sign

Senior Don Juan
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Francisco is right. I've noticed that too (as I've been doing that almost subconsciously). Start on weekdays, then you can move on to weekends, but I would ONLY see a girl on a weekend if:

1) you already got some or you're certain you will

or

2) there's some really crazy reason why you can't see her on a weekday

#2 is rarely the case

Making plans with a girl on a weekend right off the bat shows you don't really have a life. Even if you don't do jack on weekends, it's still better to do weekdays because it's easier to keep it short and sweet, it doesn't come off as needy, and it's MUCH easier to plan as girls generally lead more social lives and their weekends are much more likely to be booked.
 
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