So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I get a phone call from my next door neighbours friday night. They told me that they had a blind date with these girls that they met on the net, and a third friend was gonna be coming and wanted to know if I could fill in the extra space. I accepted, but told them, if they are all fugly that I'm going to ditch with no hesitation.
Me : So, where are we gonna bring these girls after the date?
N1 : There's no way that we're gonna get laid, unless we can somehow get back to their place, but we gotta see what they look like first.
Me : Watch what I do, if there's one of them that looks decent or better I'm gonna bed her tonight.
N2 : What happens if we all want the same girl?
Me : I'll see what I can do...
So, we meet up at the place with these girls, at the theatre... not my choice. Once we see them, there was 1 uber-fatty (UF), 1 semi-fatty(SF), and 1 decent girl (DG) (the third friend).
We walk up to the group and introduce ourselves, and I immediately walk up to the decent girl and start a conversation with her excluding her friends. Then the uber-fatty starts pulling her away from the group, I just went and talked to the four others.
We missed the movie's start time, and decided to go out for a few drinks instead.
Now, uber-fatty was also a complete b!tch. I couldn't believe it, just the most negative and unnapproachable person you could meet.
At the bar, she told me that her friend likes me... "I knew that already". So, as we sit there, my drink empties and so I grab DG by the hand and bring her for another drink. We talked, and then a good song played, so I told her 'Let's bring these drinks back to the table and we'll go to the dancefloor"
her : But I don't dance.
Me : I wasn't asking if you dance or not, I'm telling you we're gonna go on the dancefloor. Don't worry, I don't dance well either, I just pretend from time to time.
On the dancefloor, we kissed.
To shorten the story, at the end of the night, the two guys took off because of lack of interest in the girls, and I went back to the girls place (DG was only in town for the weekend). UF was pissed off because SHE refused to go to the dancefloor and was left sitting alone at the table while the 5 of us were dancing. I had to get a bouncer to bring her outside. Then she refused to get in the cab with us "All you guys want is to fvck, so go do that."
Me : Listen, we didn't come out with you just to leave you at the bar, so just get in the cab and you can be pissed off at us tomorrow.
It took an hour for us to get this b!tch in the fvcken cab. Finally, we make it back to their place, and we sat and chilled for a while, then DG asked to use a blanket and a pillow, which she laid on the living room floor, then instantly started pulling off my clothes.
Afterwards (by this time it was like 6am), she's like "I don't usually do this the first day that I meet someone."
Me : I don't doubt that, but I'm not the person that you usually meet.
Her : So, you do that alot?
Me : Not alot, but I knew from the first second that I set eyes on you that there was something going on.
Her : well, I'm leaving on Sunday, so I want to hangout again before I leave...
Me : Oh, so you want to go back home with a smile on your face. So you can tell your boyfriend back home??
her : I don't have a bf, we broke up on Tuesday...
Me :Oh... so you're gonna call him and say "You've been replaced!"
Her : I'm not that mean.
Me : Well, he didn't have the same consideration about you when he slept around.
Her : but it's only been three days, the girl he was seeing called me and told me.
ME : So, then you want ME to call him and say that he's been replaced?
Her : NO!!
Me : well, that's the difference between me and him... I'm nice enough to tell both girls that I'm seeing someone else.
Her : Are you a plyer or something?
Me : Well, I know what I'm looking for in a relationship and a partner, and for me to spend a year exclusively with one woman before figuring out that she's not my type then I've basically wasted that time. Wouldn't you agree?
Her : I guess so...
Me : So, when I meet someone new, they are put through a filtering system where you would have to be compared to other options before we can talk about being exclusive... but once I say that we are exclusive, I would end it before cheating.
Her : Well, you are the kind of guy that is worth trying to see if things would work out... even though I don't think that I would make it very far, you're pretty hardcore.
me : Don't be so quick to shoot yourself down, you'd be amazed at some of the shyt that women pass off as decent behavior, in the end I don't ask for that much.
Anyway, the next day we got together again... I said that I didn't want to deal with Uber-Fatties attitude, she got pissed off and locked herself in the room for the night, while me and one of the neighbours just chilled and watched movies (untill we snuck off).
Now, this girl is gone, but she still wants me pretty bad... she texted me throughout her whole ride home.
Me : So, where are we gonna bring these girls after the date?
N1 : There's no way that we're gonna get laid, unless we can somehow get back to their place, but we gotta see what they look like first.
Me : Watch what I do, if there's one of them that looks decent or better I'm gonna bed her tonight.
N2 : What happens if we all want the same girl?
Me : I'll see what I can do...
So, we meet up at the place with these girls, at the theatre... not my choice. Once we see them, there was 1 uber-fatty (UF), 1 semi-fatty(SF), and 1 decent girl (DG) (the third friend).
We walk up to the group and introduce ourselves, and I immediately walk up to the decent girl and start a conversation with her excluding her friends. Then the uber-fatty starts pulling her away from the group, I just went and talked to the four others.
We missed the movie's start time, and decided to go out for a few drinks instead.
Now, uber-fatty was also a complete b!tch. I couldn't believe it, just the most negative and unnapproachable person you could meet.
At the bar, she told me that her friend likes me... "I knew that already". So, as we sit there, my drink empties and so I grab DG by the hand and bring her for another drink. We talked, and then a good song played, so I told her 'Let's bring these drinks back to the table and we'll go to the dancefloor"
her : But I don't dance.
Me : I wasn't asking if you dance or not, I'm telling you we're gonna go on the dancefloor. Don't worry, I don't dance well either, I just pretend from time to time.
On the dancefloor, we kissed.
To shorten the story, at the end of the night, the two guys took off because of lack of interest in the girls, and I went back to the girls place (DG was only in town for the weekend). UF was pissed off because SHE refused to go to the dancefloor and was left sitting alone at the table while the 5 of us were dancing. I had to get a bouncer to bring her outside. Then she refused to get in the cab with us "All you guys want is to fvck, so go do that."
Me : Listen, we didn't come out with you just to leave you at the bar, so just get in the cab and you can be pissed off at us tomorrow.
It took an hour for us to get this b!tch in the fvcken cab. Finally, we make it back to their place, and we sat and chilled for a while, then DG asked to use a blanket and a pillow, which she laid on the living room floor, then instantly started pulling off my clothes.
Afterwards (by this time it was like 6am), she's like "I don't usually do this the first day that I meet someone."
Me : I don't doubt that, but I'm not the person that you usually meet.
Her : So, you do that alot?
Me : Not alot, but I knew from the first second that I set eyes on you that there was something going on.
Her : well, I'm leaving on Sunday, so I want to hangout again before I leave...
Me : Oh, so you want to go back home with a smile on your face. So you can tell your boyfriend back home??
her : I don't have a bf, we broke up on Tuesday...
Me :Oh... so you're gonna call him and say "You've been replaced!"
Her : I'm not that mean.
Me : Well, he didn't have the same consideration about you when he slept around.
Her : but it's only been three days, the girl he was seeing called me and told me.
ME : So, then you want ME to call him and say that he's been replaced?
Her : NO!!
Me : well, that's the difference between me and him... I'm nice enough to tell both girls that I'm seeing someone else.
Her : Are you a plyer or something?
Me : Well, I know what I'm looking for in a relationship and a partner, and for me to spend a year exclusively with one woman before figuring out that she's not my type then I've basically wasted that time. Wouldn't you agree?
Her : I guess so...
Me : So, when I meet someone new, they are put through a filtering system where you would have to be compared to other options before we can talk about being exclusive... but once I say that we are exclusive, I would end it before cheating.
Her : Well, you are the kind of guy that is worth trying to see if things would work out... even though I don't think that I would make it very far, you're pretty hardcore.
me : Don't be so quick to shoot yourself down, you'd be amazed at some of the shyt that women pass off as decent behavior, in the end I don't ask for that much.
Anyway, the next day we got together again... I said that I didn't want to deal with Uber-Fatties attitude, she got pissed off and locked herself in the room for the night, while me and one of the neighbours just chilled and watched movies (untill we snuck off).
Now, this girl is gone, but she still wants me pretty bad... she texted me throughout her whole ride home.
