"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Weather Helm

Mr.Positive

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As a sailor, a lot of life's questions are answered for me out on the sea. I had a question of mine answered today, and I wanted to share this experience.

We were sailing happily along, relaxing, and enjoying the sunshine. I'm at the helm, directing my crew to trim the sails when needed, and enjoying a fine day. Out of nowhere the wind started growing and getting stronger. Wind is the driving force behind a sailboat, it's life, without wind the boat is not moving forward and lost...yet ironically, the wind can be a sailboat's greatest enemy.

Well, a huge gust of wind hit us suddenly. The boat heeled over hard, the mast shook, our drinks spilled, and I could hear all the gear I had not stowed away properly make crashing noises down below in the cabin. Then, slowly but surely, the boat rised up and turned into the wind and took the blow head on. She leveled, and we gained control over the boat and kept on course. She had shaken off that blow like nothing happened. She bounced right back up ready for some more! I have never been more proud of my sailboat, than I was, at that moment.

What saved us, was the boat had a natural tendency to turn and face the wind head-on, if the wind got too strong. My boat has "weather helm". Meaning, the boat will take control of the helm in times of need, and face what mother nature throws our way. By contrast, some boats have "lee helm", meaning the boat will turn away from the wind, often times causing the boat to be overtaken and lost.

I then realized that life does the same thing to us, as men. We have weather helm.

As the wind is the life force behind a boat, our life force is all around us, in the experiences we have with each other. Sometimes, those experiences gust upon us and call upon us to face our challenges. And it's those times we are truly tested!

When life pushes us, do we naturally turn and fight? Do we take in on the chin, shake it off, and spring back ready for more? Or do we run and cower in fear. Because to run and hide is exactly what causes a sailor to be overtaken by the wind.

It's innate in each one of us, and when push comes to shove, I believe that you will have weather helm when you need it.

I've found that life can be amazing in the ways our questions are answered. I hope my questioned answered today, can help answer a few more.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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KarmaSutra

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Great thread!

I love this analogy.

This puts our decision making processes in perspective.

I'll add that whichever way the wind blows is nothing we have any foresight. What we have is the experience to weather the coming winds and the confidence to either face it or turn our backs and brace ourselves until it passes by.
 

jophil28

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How insightful - and I thought that you yacht jockeys were just a bunch of martini sipping doctors out sailing every Wednesday afternoon because you could not play golf for shyte.

I am planning on going sailing to get wiser !
 
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