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We schedule to talk tonight to solve that situation, she gave a excuse that she probably can't do that.

Blacksheep

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Women don't care about our struggles, you can show some weakness ONLY and if ONLY you've been her alpha for quite some time 6 months minimum and you gotta be able to pick yourself up faster, cause that's what men do, its something hardwired on their brains bro, its the same that masculine men don't like masculine females, they don't like feminine men.
Unfortunately. I'm gonna get through it. Gonna get some days to rest and recover and focus on physical activities. It helps a lot.

She texted me, when I replied she just stopped talking again. Its very evil what she is doing.

It's like, let me check if he still wanna talk to me. Thats why blocking might be better in this case
 

catsmeow2

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I will try to kept unblocked but it will be hard to me cause if she keep texting me I will end up talking to her.
How to get your power back and keep it.

Keep her unblocked and when she reaches out again, which she WILL if you ignore/go NC long enough, continue ignoring knowing that every second you ignore, is another second her hamster wheels are spinning questioning why you're ignoring her!

This is good, what you want, it will reignite and /or increase her attraction or has the potential to assuming she was ever attracted to you in the first place.

At that point, YOU decide whether you want her. Keep that frame throughout should you decide to continue seeing her.

There is a great thread on this site discussing Silence and Distance and how it may be the single best tool in your arsenal for holding frame, maintaining attraction, and NOT losing yourself and your own power (which is the kiss of death).

I think the thread was created by @guru1000 a few years ago. I suggest searching for it and reading it.

It's mind over matter. Think this was said before but just because you really dig this chick and have intense feelings that does not mean you should act on those feelings aka being a simp.

You have control over this, don't allow your emotions to drive your ship.

That's actually feminine behavior, as a man you need to hold frame, be strong.

Women will respect you for it even if they gripe about it, and I'm a woman saying this!

Most importantly however is you will respect yourself.

No woman will ever respect you if you first don't respect yourself and love yourself, before any woman.
 
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Blacksheep

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How to get your power back and keep it.

Keep her unblocked and when she reaches out again, which she WILL if you ignore/go NC long enough, continue ignoring knowing that every second you ignore, is another second her hamster wheels are spinning questioning why you're ignoring her!

This is good, what you want, it will reignire and /or increase attraction.

At that point, YOU decide whether you want her. Keep that frame.

There is a great thread on this site discussing Silence and Distance and how it may be the single best tool in your arsenal for holding frame, maintaining attraction, and NOT losing yourself and your own power (which is the kiss of death).

I think the thread was created by @guru1000 a few years ago. I suggest searching for it and reading it.

It's mind over matter. Think this was said before but just because you really dig this chick and have intense feelings that does not mean you should act on those feelings aka being a simp.

You have control over this, don't allow yourself emotions to drive your ship.

That's actually feminine behavior, as a man you need to hold frame, be strong.

Women will respect you for it even if they gripe about it, and I'm a woman saying this!

Most importantly however is you will respect yourself.

No woman will ever respect you if you first don't respect yourself and love yourself, before any woman.
That's a very good point! Thanks for that.

Gonna do that. I'm experience exactly this thing of woman losing respect because I'm with this feminine behavior. I must get up and be strong.

Part of me would want to get back if she wanted it. But another part tells me to don't that because of that situation where it seems she is playing a game to destabilize me.
 

ubercat

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Idk why you would ever want somebody back who disrespected you. My policy is one chance per wan per lifetime.
 

Blacksheep

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Idk why you would ever want somebody back who disrespected you. My policy is one chance per wan per lifetime.
You are right. If put emotions aside I know I have to just walk away.

My intuition was saying something was not so right since the beginning. Like she was not showing so much interest in spending free time together, always tired. When we met, we ate have sex and when going to talk or watch a movie she was asleep.

Best is to move on.
 

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catsmeow2

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Part of me would want to get back if she wanted it. But another part tells me to don't that because of that situation where it seems she is playing a game to destabilize me.
With this particular girl, I suggest NOT going back. She has demonstrated instability and once you're back, even if she begged you, her history suggests she will dump you again.

Take all this in for next time, next girl.

Also, can't believe I'm saying this as a female on this forum lol but learn Game.

There are some great books on Game - perhaps some of the guys can recommend some good ones.

The Rational Male (Rollo Tomassi) and 48 Laws of Power (Robert Greene) come to mind.

Good luck!
 
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She had other plans after 9pm that weren't you and she said that to you because she knows that you will still be there tomorrow because she knows you got no other options for now because she knows that you dont got the heart and balls to walk away.
I been there bro.

A girl will crawl over broken glass and barbed wire to be with a guy she wants after midnight..
She will change religions, ditch her friends, leave family and country to meet you on the other side.

turn the tables, b!tch will not disrespect me like my time ain't money and then expect me to be available tomorrow.
Hell nah, before that happens im cutting ties and she won't even know what smacked her on the mouth.

Your peace of mind is at stake here.
Life is already hard enough as it is chasing that paper and then having to stress over some puzzy..
thats hustling backwards.
Put her on disregard status and charge it to the game.
Wish you well, Keep your head up brother
 
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The Diver

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Sorry guys and girls, You are wasting your time.

I have a neighbour copy to Op: His "gf" trashing him left and right. He came crying to me every few weeks; I told him what he should do, he said Yes, and then went and did the opposite of what I told him; she continued trashing him, he back to me, I told, again, what to do, he said Yes, go and do the opposite. And that has happened for the last three years!

He did say to me at some point that he has past traumas.
I told him he needed professional help to help him get over this girl.

OP need professional help.
 

Blacksheep

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Sorry guys and girls, You are wasting your time.

I have a neighbour copy to Op: His "gf" trashing him left and right. He came crying to me every few weeks; I told him what he should do, he said Yes, and then went and did the opposite of what I told him; she continued trashing him, he back to me, I told, again, what to do, he said Yes, go and do the opposite. And that has happened for the last three years!

He did say to me at some point that he has past traumas.
I told him he needed professional help to help him get over this girl.

OP need professional help.
If try to help someone is a waste of time for you. Why did you even bother and waste your time replying it?

I actually have past traumas, I have professional help with therapist and meds.

Im not going back my relationship after reading some replies here.

I went here really wanting some advice. I might be sad and feeling bad those days, but I know when someone sounds offensive with no reason. And it seems you just did it.
 

svencandy

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Forget she existed.
Sounds like you got oneitis. We all get it some times.
But once the switch is flicked, its over and you merely dumpster diving.
You can re establish some love for a period if time, but in her subconscious you are not worthy and in my experience that comes out from time to time.
 

Blacksheep

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Forget she existed.
Sounds like you got oneitis. We all get it some times.
But once the switch is flicked, its over and you merely dumpster diving.
You can re establish some love for a period if time, but in her subconscious you are not worthy and in my experience that comes out from time to time.
Best to do. And thats what Im gonna do.

No reason to keep someone like her.
 

ubercat

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@Blacksheep I m not self promoting here just can't type so much again. Read some of my back posts on how to handle the usual fvckers socially. I would say you need to be personable before powerful. 48 laws is good. I d add my posts for a bit of 'how to' plus the social skills guidebook - quick skim to make sure you have the basics. And Leiil lodwndes 'how to talk to anyone ' her best book. Then go into that tear and blood stained arena of social oddness and competition - Meetup :rofl:
 

The Diver

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If try to help someone is a waste of time for you. Why did you even bother and waste your time replying it?

I actually have past traumas, I have professional help with therapist and meds.

Im not going back my relationship after reading some replies here.

I went here really wanting some advice. I might be sad and feeling bad those days, but I know when someone sounds offensive with no reason. And it seems you just did it.
Stop with it op.
You open three threads on the same girl. Everyone told you what to do in almost 100 replies, which is block, delete, move on, and then you open a thread about talking it over with her, and no surprise, she dumped you again.

You are not listening to what everyone told you, just like my neighbour, and do the opposite of what you advised to do, despite you saying you gonna do it.

At that point, any more advice to you is fruitless and a waste of time, and because you're not at the right state of mind to cope with it yourself, only a professional can help you.
 

ubercat

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@Blacksheep I d suggest opening a journal thread. And START wit a SIMPLE routine. I keep base fitness by:

- climbing 6 flights stairs and riding lift down and doing it again at end of my 30 minute morning walk

- shadow kickboxing workout with 1 kg hand weights in front of TV

- play tennis

- 5 kg dumbells - do 4 exercises lying down on bed

So everything is simple, right there and minimal equipment apart from the tennis which is a long term interest. In other words NO excuses for not doing.

Do it for 30 days and you have a new habit

Point is if you can make an easy small change that small change will accumulate over time for the good.

Big plans soon abandoned. You want everything to be like brushing your teeth just something you do because you are that guy. And that's the soundtrack that should be playing in the back of your head I workout because I like to feel fit and healthy and have a useful body. Don't peg anything to external validation I work out because girls like that is mental poison.
 
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Blacksheep

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@Blacksheep I d suggest opening a journal thread. And START wit a SIMPLE routine. I keep base fitness by:

- climbing 6 flights stairs and riding lift down and doing it again at end of my 30 minute morning walk

- shadow kickboxing workout with 1 kg hand weights in front of TV

- play tennis

- 5 kg dumbells - do 4 exercises lying down on bed

So everything is simple, right there and minimal equipment apart from the tennis which is a long term interest. In other words NO excuses for not doing.

Do it for 30 days and you have a new habit

Point is if you can make an easy small change that small change will accumulate over time for the good.

Big plans soon abandoned. You want everything to be like brushing your teeth just something you do because you are that guy. And that's the soundtrack that should be playing in the back of your head I workout because I like to feel fit and healthy and have a useful body. Don't peg anything to external validation I work out because girls like that is mental poison.
Thanks man! Thats a good suggestion.

I already have a journaling but its from my daily experiences. Sometimes its just good to write down some thoughts on my mind.

Gonna do that for workout too.

I usually like some calisthenics and walking/running in the sun. Gonna create a journal about that.
 

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ubercat

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Men do well with routines.

Then you do swap outs so you don't kill your soul and stay an interesting guy.

Ok this 2 weeks I will swap out my usual routine for making hiking dates with chicks hopefully really fit ones.

This weekend I am going to book myself some dirt bike lessons. Believe me throwing a bike around will keep you fit.

So you need both but it all rests on the foundation routine.
 

ubercat

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Last post because I really need to get going with my work. Point I am making is everything needs to be a system. When sh1t comes down your systems should protect you.

So I just got hit in some project cutbacks me and a bunch of other contractors out the door. Not good at this time of year.

So do I sit around and have a small panic no way. I'm too busy working my systems.

1. Make sure my references and endorsements are in place from current gig.

2. Make sure that I have leveraged my current big as much as possible in terms of accumulating knowledge. Obviously I have to be discrete about what I say but I think you get it.

3 do a quick survey of the job boards grab a bunch of the latest buzz words and sprinkle them into my selection of resumes so that I can tick n flick a pile of applications quickly.

4 make a list of chores and projects which are a huge pita to do while you're in work so that I use the dead time over Christmas

5. Book Bali holiday for me and chick so that some time out is had and I don't go too much into bunker mentality and chick doesn't fester

Now it probably won't surprise you to learn that a lot of this is pre-planned and half cooked already so basically it is a matter of ramping up rather than starting from scratch.

So the proof of the pudding. Theoretically I have a job offer on the table already from last week I say theoretically because I haven't seen a contract yet. And if I don't me being the trusting guy that I am I have four interviews lined up for this week.

So the point is not how great I am believe me I am a pretty average.it guy. The point is even though I am average and am old and it is a dead time of year in the market being systemised gave me a slight edge. I had 4 interviews last week too. Unfortunately a lot of the managers seem to be in their 20s aka in their diapers so it's a bit hard for an old guy but with that kind of interview traffic one will land sooner or later.
 
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