We run relationship game on ourselves

[MOTU]

I had a long weekend with the GF, and it had me pondering relationship game. At it's essence, RG wants the F to not feel overly secure with us and get complacent, thereby reducing her attraction to us and shifting her hypergamy into overdrive. We want her to feel she has to continually earn our approval, thereby keeping her on her best behavior, because if she stops, we'll find something better.

Sound familiar?

We tell ourselves: you have to keep improving. Never get complacent. Always be the best you that you can be... And it is implied: because if you don't, she'll find something better.

So maybe we are saying: for a relationship to work, two people of relatively equal SMV have to continually earn the others love and trust by being the best they can be. If one stops, it's over.

Thoughts?

 

[Slickster]

Good post.

I think a big part of it is having your girlfriend/wife feel a little bit of competition anxiety. If she knows that you have the ability to attract other women her attraction will stay high. As long as you can demonstrate this ability I'm not sure you have really be the best you can be at all times either. It obviously doesn't hurt but what if your best doesn't attract other women?

I also think that a man's interest level is not as important as the woman's in regards to keeping the relationship going. If a guy is physically attracted to his woman and he is being satisfied properly his interest level doesn't really matter that much. I find a lot of guys I know just seem to cruise along with their partners even though their relationships seem very stale. Maybe it's laziness or they can just be happy focusing on other things. If a woman's interest level drops too low however, the relationship is in danger regardless of whether the man is doing everything right.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

True true story, I tried to explain this to a buddy of mine. He's still messing around with the same toxic chick for like 5 years now. Every time it goes to sh*t, I tell him STOP PLAYING YOURSELF. This chick is never going to change to woman you want her to be. Stop f*cking yourself over. Some people just never learn, or they enjoy getting f*cked over. He may just be a lost cause, hopefully not.

 

[Lozboss]

Guys,

If you are good and attractive+confident she will notice other women admiring you without you trying.

Keeping her on her toes is key but equally don't sabotage the relationship otherwise it won't work.

I guess it depends on how much you care about your GF. If you be yourself (a confident, attractive man who commands a room) then she will always want you- you shouldn't have to game her to keep her attracted.

 

[hithard]

The problem is some guys go into relationships and expect their wife to be their mother. They get lazy and go on autopilot, all the while missing the signs of the stagnant rut they are in. The reason you need to keep progressing is to stop you becoming a slob. In a relationship men will let themselves slide. Staying on the right path is far from easy. But it's not for her it's for you. You are a lot quicker to recover if you maintain yourself to a high standard.

In saying that, relationships do need constant tuning. Yeah you can put little effort in , but you are in for a $hitty outcome with that level of output. Things just don't magically happen. Relationship game is just maintaining and strengthening the bond, goals and structure. Not so much about making her jealous.