We needed a study for this?

[Rollo Tomassi]

Men still go for looks, women for wealth

I realize this is milking a dead cow on this forum, but it's always an interesting read.

"The women were self-censoring. The men weren't,''

Big shock here.

"There's this disparity between what people say they want in a mate and what they end up choosing,''

Maybe I should post this up at Loveshack.org. The chumps over there need a good bucket of ice water dumped on them.

 

[azanon]

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html

I read the same article here; there were a few more comments on the research in that link.

Anyway, the reason I linked that one was because of this clip: "The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Todd said."

That was/is always true for me. For me, intelligence comes first, looks second. Looks is more yes vs. no with me, than better and not as good. In practice, they have to pass that "minimum attractiveness threshold" then the real test comes; how (mentally) competent is this woman. "Dumb" is SUCH a turnoff for me. Ok sure, I might bang a really dumb one, but then i'll send them on their way. I'd NEVER consider a LTR with a dumb (or even average) intelligence woman, unless she was average + really driven to be better than average.

I'm sure that has something to do with my personality type (INTJ) though.

 

[Bonhomme]

The real question is what we are doing here when we could be getting paid for doing "research" such as that?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

And just as I quoted:

"There's this disparity between what people say they want in a mate and what they end up choosing,''

Attraction is attraction. You never get to 'Life' or 'Intelligence' or 'Personality' or any other esoteric crap before you get past attraction. There's the old saying that a woman knows within the first 5 minutes of meeting a guy if she'll sleep with him. I'd argue that a woman knows within the first 5 minutes if she'll NEVER sleep with a guy - this is all based on the physical dynamic.

237 Resons people have sex. #1 reason for both sexes? "I was attracted to the person."

 

[azanon]

Well, maybe we need to clarify what we're talking about here. For me (and many men), there's the kind you'd date (screw) and the kind you'd actually consider for a LTR well after you've met (dated) her. For just a screw, looks alone is where its at for me and it is the alpha and omega for initial attraction.

But, for what its worth, I ended up choosing an intelligent woman. In other words, what I say and what i did match perfectly.

 

[Bonhomme]

There's this disparity between what people say they want in a mate and what they end up choosing

That "no-brainer" is why online matchmaking is so bassackwards.

 

[blueguy]

Maybe for marriage... I've seen too many guy friends and chumps spend their last dime on cars and houses to display their wealth in hopes of snagging an attractive wife. It works to an extent... at the price of throwing away most of their disposable income toward mortgage and car payments... for life.

 

[azanon]

Maybe for marriage... I've seen too many guy friends and chumps spend their last dime on cars and houses to display their wealth in hopes of snagging an attractive wife. It works to an extent... at the price of throwing away most of their disposable income toward mortgage and car payments... for life.

The irony is that ends up attracting exactly the type of woman that you DON'T want to marry.

When my wife married me, I was just a broke college student. Thus, it was never a question that I was married for my money.

Today, my personal car is a Honda Fit 2007. Even if i were single, I'd have the same car (though I could afford far better than that). It'd be lunacy to display a "fake" image of yourself, end up successfully attracting a superficial woman, then be put in a situation where you have to grind at the millstone for the rest of your life just to keep her happy.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Date 'em, LTR 'em, marry 'em,...

You still have to want to ƒuck 'em.

 

[azanon]

Date 'em, LTR 'em, marry 'em,...

You still have to want to ƒuck 'em.

Agree!

To make full circle on this, that's what I meant by minimum threshold for me on looks. If they pass that imaginary line, I want to fvck them. Fvcking is just plain fun; no reason to be overtly strict just for that!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Not trying to dispute the findings, but....

I think it was interesting that the study only involved 46 people (26 were men) and it took place during speed dating sessions. What other outcome could be expected from such a small selection in a limited time frame? Oh, the study just included Germans too. I'm not saying that their finding were incorrect, but it seems as if they went about it in a half-assed manner.

I agree with Rollo's first question about really needing a study for this. It just shows that there are people out there willing to fund just about any study to further prove things that seem readily apparent.

 

[Phyzzle]

This is one thing that needs to change in accepted journalistic standards.

"Studies" should NEVER be published as serious news.

Experiments in a lab? Sure. But then you have studies with expected results, like this, and unexpected results, like the one showing that eating ice cream causes drownings or smoking Virginia Slims causes homosexuality. The ones with unexpected results always have other methodological explanations that nullify the conclusions.

And the details are almost always the results of "a questionaiire given to 46 patients of some clinic in Warsaw."

 

[jonwon]

Not trying to dispute the findings, but....

I think it was interesting that the study only involved 46 people (26 were men) and it took place during speed dating sessions. What other outcome could be expected from such a small selection in a limited time frame? Oh, the study just included Germans too. I'm not saying that their finding were incorrect, but it seems as if they went about it in a half-assed manner.

I agree with Rollo's first question about really needing a study for this. It just shows that there are people out there willing to fund just about any study to further prove things that seem readily apparent.

i did my own study of speed-dating once.

I went to one.

was the biggest AFC convention going, including the women.

Anyone who does speed dating has a norm, imo has no concept of attracting a mate.

 

[Drum&Bass]

its like men see women as people, and all it takes is a woman to keep herself healthy and strong to attract a man.

Women don't see men as people but as money or a free ride...so if you are an un-healthy guy, with bad genes all you need is wealth and you secure your bloodline with a physically healthy mate.

and women wonder why men are fed up and don't respect them. They are genetically predisposed to using an outdated system for choosing the right man.

 

[edger]

its like men see women as people, and all it takes is a woman to keep herself healthy and strong to attract a man.

Women don't see men as people but as money or a free ride...so if you are an un-healthy guy, with bad genes all you need is wealth and you secure your bloodline with a physically healthy mate.

and women wonder why men are fed up and don't respect them. They are genetically predisposed to using an outdated system for choosing the right man.

I know, it's disturbing.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

i did my own study of speed-dating once.

I went to one.

was the biggest AFC convention going, including the women.

Anyone who does speed dating has a norm, imo has no concept of attracting a mate.

I'll admit to going to a couple just for the experience. Speed dating in the mid-west is very different than on the east coast. I'll just say that if I hadn't committed to the one here in Minnesota, I would have turned around and left withing the first five minutes after arriving. And this was before the event started! :nervous:

 

[DoubleA]

I'll admit to going to a couple just for the experience. Speed dating in the mid-west is very different than on the east coast. I'll just say that if I hadn't committed to the one here in Minnesota, I would have turned around and left withing the first five minutes after arriving. And this was before the event started! :nervous:

DAMN.

Francisco,

Tell me. It couldn't have been that bad! Was it?? I thought Minnesota had some of the better looking Mid-western women.

Getting back to the subject...I thought studies are drawn to make the reader more conscious to the on going subject being brought to the forefront. Let's not talk about the pool of people they draw these stats from. They could've walked into a bar on Valentine's day and asked every single guy (AFC if he's moping) specific questions. I wish I couldv'e heard some of those answers from study subjects. Man!

I've seen now how women can be attracted to a man who has some power and brings value. The truth is changing your image of yourself to fit what someone else desires is no less superficial than telling a AFC how to act in a club or bar. It's not going to work if he's not even socially outgoing from the jump. As my pops says, "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck. It's a UCKFAYING Duck." This can applied to the women WE all deal with.

I almost wanted to try speed dating but the female bartender whom I knew, said It wasn't for me. She elaborated by saying I had no problem being social in a room full of strangers. Wow. After all, she's seen me in action. Let's face it. Guys want that dream girl and so do women. But if the main objective is to get laid..I don't think this is the best route for the male participants. Not unless they all looked like "Deter" from Saturday Night Live.

But know thy self, if so. You'll know who you're dealing with alot better.

IMO.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

DAMN.

Francisco,

Tell me. It couldn't have been that bad! Was it?? I thought Minnesota had some of the better looking Mid-western women.

Minnesota - Land of the Nordic Snow Cow....
Those are the native Minnesota women. Those who transferred here from other places have been rather nice I must admit.

...I've seen now how women can be attracted to a man who has some power and brings value. The truth is changing your image of yourself to fit what someone else desires is no less superficial than telling a AFC how to act in a club or bar. It's not going to work if he's not even socially outgoing from the jump. As my pops says, "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck. It's a UCKFAYING Duck." This can applied to the women WE all deal with.

Very true, that's why qualifying women is SO important.

 

[STR8UP]

Minnesota - Land of the Nordic Snow Cow....

Haha....I'm from Illinois and my grandpa used to call them "water buffalo".

I loved grand pappy

 

[Last Man Standing]

Men seek attraction because this is genetically ordered as explained in The Natural Order Of Things!

Attration is the initiating factor.

Women seek wealth - meaning a provider - this is genetically wired also - women know it's a man's world!!