We need a better benchmark

[Philippe Schlichting]

So recently I was in the city again, talking to two girls and they contributed. I kinoed, talked about how they feel, they enjoyed being led.

Till here they were all normal and happy.

Then closing time came. I said alright I really have to go back to .... let's hang out.

In an instant these two girls turned their "mood" around. All the "we don't know you" s.hittests came, something that wasn't at all in tune with what they did and said before.

I asked: "Really? do you really need to give me that nonsense?". One of the girls didn't even react she just repeated her old rehearsed rap.

Why, just why do they do this? Why can't they just think for themselves and say "I like it here yeah sure let's come together what about monday"?

I found that whatever I say then I feel bad afterwards:

- Rolling my eyes, leaving without an additional word makes them not feel bad, for them I am just a loser then.

- Saying "Fu.ck you with that bulls.hit" gives the same result.

- Saying "Of course we don't we just met 20 hours ago and talked and touched each other since then but hey we don't know each other enough to meet again, right?" doesn't cut it either.

- "True, we don't know each other, we need to change that" doesn't work either

I did it according to the book, I showed dominance, held eye contact had a resonant voice touched them they contributed a lot, want to keep me around but still I got this fu.cking ending.

Why the fu.ck do I do this shi.t at all? For what? I could talk to a woman by approaching with "Hi we had a great time for one second why don't you give me your contact details". Then I could accept "We don't know each other". But not after everything went according to the book.

And hey, I don't enjoy the process. This process is giving women a good time without getting something back. I need a better benchmark, a quicker one.

This result just shows me that I seemed to have wasted my time here. And of course those ****s didn't tell me before.

Go on faggots who OF COURSE have NEVER experienced something like that and call me a whining loser, go for it.

 

[R.C]

Girls:
"But we don't even know you "
You:
"Yes,and hanging out is the way to fix that"
Girls:
"Insert *Stupid retarded answer / repetition / biatch attitude*"
You:
"Wow , you're not really good at this socializing thing, are you ?" *walks away*
or
"Hmm,you don't have too many friends , do you ?" *walks away*
or
"By the time you're 30 , living with 10 cats as the only source of interaction , you'll regret that attitude." *walks away*
or
"Aaaand here I was thinking you're actually cool. Sorry for bringing a little excitement in your lonely little world" *yeah,you guessed it. walk away*

Frame them to be the loser.

 

[betheman]

it took you 20 hours to get blown out?
you should have made a move quicker, same result, more efficient

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

it took you 20 hours to get blown out?
you should have made a move quicker, same result, more efficient

First: No, it took me half an hour to get rehearsed lines while closing.
Second: Define "make a move".

My definition of making a move is "doing things that lead towards sex". I thought I did that.

 

[Philippe Schlichting]

"Yes,and hanging out is the way to fix that"/"True, we don't know each other, we need to change that"

This is a logical answer which girls - IME actually - don't respond to.

"Wow , you're not really good at this socializing thing, are you ?" *walks away*

"Hmm,you don't have too many friends , do you ?" *walks away*

"Aaaand here I was thinking you're actually cool. Sorry for bringing a little excitement in your lonely little world" *yeah,you guessed it. walk away*

These are awesome. I hope I can remember them next time.

 

[R.C]

First time I pulled

"Aaaand here I was thinking you're actually cool. Sorry for bringing a little excitement in your lonely little world"

my heart was pounding like crazy. I was expecting her to unload some heavy $hit on my ass.Her reply ,to my amazement was:

"Wow...that was so mean. It's kinda hurtful to call people out on their insecurities like that"

10 minutes later I got a date with her. I projected a little bit of support toward her 'problem' and comfort sky-rocketed.

Pretty weird way to get a date with someone - by practically insulting them - but hey ,weird success is still success.

 

[floydb25]

lol @ the last sentence... But anyway, I think you're going out with the mindset of picking up girls, and trying too hard to escalate with random strangers. I find its better to get acquainted with them, build some rapport, have a normal conversation, etc - THEN show interest, ask for numbers, etc. This is AFTER you come off as someone who's interesting enough to get to know more. But don't come off as too fake or "rehearsed", or only interested in sex.

Cold pick-up is kind of hard, especially since most guys try too hard to charm and escalate too soon - with the intention of banging RIGHT AWAY. I find it's best to speak to them normally, and feel the vibes from there. As well, making it a casual affair - then running into them again. Exchanging numbers is also better than asking to hang out, as there's no pressure or intention behind it.

It's not much different from making friends. You don't go out with the intention of making friends, or even try to - it just happens. You get acquainted with people, don't act pushy, shoot the ****, hang out, whatever. It flows naturally - not forcefully or intentionally. You feel each other out for a little while.

Of course, this also depends on how social and likeable you are. If you're a good conversationalist, and show interest in other people, and make them laugh and seem interesting and "real" and cool - you're going to make friends quickly and easily. Even after the first meet-up.

Women are the same way. It's better to get a LITTLE acquainted first, and have some back and forth. You're still going to flirt and show interest (in who they are), but not act pushy about it, or have the intention of banging them right away. Meeting them again, recognizing their presense, getting reacquainted, etc works well. But don't go out with the INTENTION of picking up random girls, or escalating too soon. It's better to just talk, flirt, act interesting, or whatever - like you would any other person. It takes a little time to get acquainted with people.

It's true that they don't know who you are - because they don't. They literally just met you, and are having ONE brief conversation with a STRANGER who's flirting with them, and wants to hang out (see: bang) already. No good. They're going to get defensive, and assume you're a man-***** who wants to bang and forget. Or you could be a rapist, serial killer... They don't know anything about you. They also haven't been given enough time to feel you out, to see what kind of person you are, or what your intentions are. They know nothing about you.

Even when girls used to approach me at bars, or wherever... It was never instant, too forward, fake, pushy, etc. We'd just sit down and have a normal conversation; build rapport; dance; have fun; then they'd ask for my number, and we'd meet up again; etc. There was ALWAYS a normal conversation and getting acquainted on the first meet-up. Always. Doesn't matter where, or with who it was.

Acting pushy, flirting, touching, escalating too fast, trying to hang out, asking to come with me to this place, etc, always resulted in failure - even after they approached me. There's too much of a focus on quick escalation, IMO. They gotta feel you out a little first, and want to get to know you more. There has to be some connection and trust.

It takes a little time, but you must still strike when the iron is hot, and not act too friendly for too long. The first conversation, yeah. You're just meeting a new person, find them interesting, want to get to know them, etc. No big deal; no pressure. Then you exchange numbers or run into them again, and show a little more sexual interest, build some rapport and get them interested in going out (or hanging out) with you, then go from there.

It's almost like you're "luring" them in, and its a multi-step process. But it doesn't take too long... Not like you have to span this out over an extended period, or anything like that. Just the way I'm describing it. It's still done fairly quickly, and naturally.

Even if you're just trying to bang, and hate women, and aren't looking for a relationship - you can't come off this way, with random strangers. Even the "bad boys" manipulate, charm, and lie to women. They don't force themselves onto them right away. There's a lot of push / pull, mind games, messing with emotions, bait & switch, and all that **** going on. I used to be good friends with these types, and seen their "game" in action. They played multiple women in the same fashion, as time went on. It was never an instant hook up.

But this is how it worked for me. Not sure about anyone else.