You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Bible_Belt said:This thread reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode where a guy gets the gift of being able to read minds. And then he goes insane, because the thoughts going through peoples' heads are so repulsive.
The gf is not pregnant yet. We've only been trying for two months, and this might be the last. We will have that talk when she gets her period in a week or two.
I go my gf's house every other day and fvck her. Just about every other moment has been spent around BPD girl. I have been going to her house and sleeping with her every night. We try not to have sex, but we did get drunk and fool around once. It was like preggo porn. We agreed to not have sex again, or at least try not to, for the sake of both of our relationships. Her guy has a bail hearing on Monday. He might be out this week. I am going to try to let their relationship run its course. I don't think it will last long.
And I really, really hope it is nothing, but I am paranoid that BPD girl could have given me an std in that one minute of drunken sex. The skin on my nuts feels irritated and looks a tiny bit red. I hope to god it's not herpes. There are no blisters or sores, but it just doesn't feel right.
Glad I could finally pass on the torch.cordoncordon said:BB you are a mess, a complete and utter mess. In fact you may be as bad off as anyone I have ever seen on this forum mentally, and that includes mynameisnobody at his worst.
I give you a lot of credit for trying to turn your life around and you have made a lot of progress.Malice said:Glad I could finally pass on the torch.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
cordoncordon said:I give you a lot of credit for trying to turn your life around and you have made a lot of progress.
This whole thread of BB's posts is just one giant mother of all troll jobs.Bible_Belt said:And to everyone else, I thank you for your input, with no hard feelings.
The girlfriend everyone hates and I have another ten months of recreational sex ahead of us before she leaves, and I am just going to enjoy it for what it is.
Not that this makes sense to anyone here, but I am attracted to BPD girl for intimacy much more so than sex. She's just about the only woman I enjoy hanging out with. (that's part of what BPD is) I still end up being somewhat physical with her, but we don't have sex, which is somehow fine with me.
So I want to fvck one girl, and then spend all my time with a different one. This is exactly where I was five years ago, except I was fvcking both of them, often both on the same night. It's one big circle.
BPD girl is going back to her man if he ever gets out of jail, with my blessing, and the girlfriend is going away eventually. At that point, I'll probably just fvck wh0res off craigslist. I don't think I have a fear of being alone. But going without sex is pretty scary.
And I really, really hope it is nothing, but I am paranoid that BPD girl could have given me an std in that one minute of drunken sex. The skin on my nuts feels irritated and looks a tiny bit red. I hope to god it's not herpes. There are no blisters or sores, but it just doesn't feel right.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
LOL, what else do you hope for? A cure for cancer? World peace? Santa being real?Mauser96 said:Hope this helps.
A little white-knighting too, keep up the good work!If he beats her up, which I won't do, then I think I have to beat him up
Good point, Zarky. BPD girl is the one who chose to get involved with this piece of trash, and now Bible Belt feels obliged to "save" her from him. I'm almost beginning to buy into the hacked account theories.Zarky said:A little white-knighting too, keep up the good work!
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
zekko said:Good point, Zarky. BPD girl is the one who chose to get involved with this piece of trash, and now Bible Belt feels obliged to "save" her from him. I'm almost beginning to buy into the hacked account theories.
No, I think it's because we have all been there before and have learned from the mistakes and most are genuinely trying to be helpful...99% of the time, nothing good ever comes from getting back together with someone. Whatever previous issues that caused the split in the first place don't ever go away permanently; it's only a matter of time before they resurface.Jules_Winfield said:Bible Belt,
Thank you for sharing.
If any of you guys haven't had some variation of this situation, then you haven't loved anyone.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.