My access to the Internet is spotty right now. Thank you guys for all the support.
She was gone in one trip Saturday morning, with all of the people she brought to help her move. Her family actually likes me a lot. They kept saying "this sucks. We hate this." Her mom was hugging me and crying.
I stayed home to watch them move out. All morning long, I kept going through realizations of "oh sh!t, that's yours too." My place is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath. Two of the rooms are completely empty. I have an old couch, coffee table, kitchen table, big tv, and that's it. No bed, lamps, other furniture, or washer or dryer. There are hardwood floors so everything makes a strange echoing noise. I also have a blind dog who is now depressed because the two dogs he lived with are now gone.
/depressing part
I only told one friend about my breakup. He told his ex, who is best friends with a girl who is a former off and on fvck buddy of mine. She lives in Chicago, but texted me that she had heard what happened and was visiting family in my town. Her brother plays in a band that was performing, so I hung out with her, her hot best friend and new guy, and her mom, who already likes me. I do apparently well with mothers. The girl and I didn't even make out, but it was good for me to get out in public and be around people. She and I like each other quite a bit. I think we would be together if we liked living in the same place. She lives about five hours from me, and probably visits here every month or two, so that is just perfect for me right now.
I texted my now-ex gf today. I told her that I didn't mean it when I said I never wanted to talk to her again. I told her I would always love her, and I want her to be happy. That was not easy. But after knowing her this long, I know that I have to be the one to be the bigger person.
As for triggers that were a sign that it was over, it's all in the sex. For the first year or so we were together, we had sex every night. It was the main thing we had in common. We moved into a new place that my family owns three years ago. She also started night school part-time about that time. That's when the weight started piling on, and the sex became less and less. I REALLY put a lot of effort into making sure we had sex once a week. That was what held the relationship together I think. Eventually, her drive got less and less, and I started to get annoyed at all the nights that she wouldn't even take a shower after work. The last time we had sex, she wouldn't even shave her legs. Then a week or two later, she showered and shaved everything, and we went to bed. I had worked all day and was tired, and she said some b!tchy comment about how what I was talking about wasn't turning her on. I got mad, said fine I'm tired, then rolled over and went to sleep. That was the moment the relationship ended I think. As soon as she felt like I was not attracted to her, then it was over. I faked it for years, but one time of me not pretending was good enough.
