We have an interesting problem here re: Marriage

[Desdinova]

I've been reading these forums for a long time, and it seems that recently the idea of anti-marriage is becoming even more abundant. Men here seem to have decided that women are not worth marriage, and that they should pursue their own goals, hopes, and desires.

The men here have given up on the idea of reproducing and raising children of their own. Dealing with a 5hithead woman isn't worth reproducing.

Now, if we were to bring this to an even broader scale, splitting the DJs from the AFC, we see this trend:

DJs not marrying, not reproducing.
or
DJs "accidently" reproducing, women take the child and slap child support on him

AFCs marrying and reproducing, putting up with the b1tchy wife.

Here's how the evolution of the world is going to happen - nothing will change! AFCs will raise their children to be AFCs, while the DJs die off. Many here have expressed the ideas of a world without AFCs who base their lives of romanticism. This message forum will not alone conquer this. Telling your friends not to put women on a pedestal will not help (they won't listen unless they've fallen hard on their ass).

Marriage can be avoided today with "common-law", but you're still going to have to endure a woman b1tching about not having the wedding. Let's face it, as long as women are around, marriage will exist (even if marriage rates are declining)

Now, if we have DJs reproducing, raising their children with a realistic view of the world, they will most likely pass their realistic views down to their children. This happens naturally, as child abusers will raise their children to be child abusers, alcoholics raising alcoholics, bums raising bums, and the cycle continues. If you've never read a book entitled "Toxic Parents", I suggest picking it up. The author (name escapes me) recognizes the trend of passing on toxic behavior to their children.

We have the ability of using this trend to our advantage instead of avoiding it altogether and accomplishing nothing.

I'm not saying to marry the next woman that comes along, but not ruling out marriage completely. If you fail to find an ideal woman to share your life with, that's fine. Dating is a great way of passing time until finding a decent woman to settle with.

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by Desdinova
If you fail to find an ideal woman to share your life with, that's fine. Dating is a great way of passing time until finding a decent woman to settle with.

And that is the bottom line everybody on here needs to know....
don't be in the hurry, you'll be sorry lather.

 

[Warboss Alex]

Re: Re: We have an interesting problem here re: Marriage

Originally posted by spider_007
And that is the bottom line everybody on here needs to know....
don't be in the hurry, you'll be sorry lather.

Not always true.

 

[Double]

dude you forgot that although everything can be perfect now for a few years that it can be boring as hell later and then unless you have become rich you will live near the existant minimum at least in my country......so you will be caught up in a vicious circle. and just because you arent married with kids doesnt mean you can't teach young guys the DJ lifestyle....i was and still am a bit teached the DJ lifestyle by men who are no relatives of mine and i will do the same later to lost guys with potential

 

[Desdinova]

And that is the bottom line everybody on here needs to know.... don't be in the hurry, you'll be sorry lather.

I agree with Warboss. It doesn't necessarily matter how much time you spend looking for your ideal woman, but WHAT you choose to be your ideal woman. The best way to reach your conclusion of what you want in a woman is to gain experience. A man who has only dated a few women will not have the experience of a man who has dated many women.

The man who has dated many will have a much more clear idea of what he wants and what he doesn't want in a woman. The man with little dating experience will be more likely to leap on the "best thing" he has found thus far.

However, the man with more dating experience will be equal with the man with less experience if he is dating in hopes for the approval of others. Experience is only gained if you learn from it.

 

[Desdinova]

and just because you arent married with kids doesnt mean you can't teach young guys the DJ lifestyle

This is true. However, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. People will only take your advice and learn if they want to. From my experience, most people don't want to learn. They almost seem content in living their usual daily lives, without making the changes they need to become successful. It always seems much "safer" in your comfortable lifestyle than venturing out into something different. The problem is, many people have never taken the opportunity (which is always there) to take a different path in their lives. People are afraid of the unknown. Many will take up religion because of this reason alone.

 

[Double]

yeah man thats why added the "...with potential" in the last sentence


AND dont be so sure that just because they are your kids that they will want to live the DJ lifestyle.....they can be just like anybody else and jusst want to live comfortable. it happens all the time that children of "successful happy" parents are lazy. what makes you think you are special in this case.

 

[Visceral]

Those children of successful and happy parents are lazy because they've never known anything but success and happiness; they think it's a given and this is a belief that their parents' constant coddling, spoiling, and enabling only reinforces.

If you want to avoid having lazy sons, you'll have to raise them on a farm, with nothing but hard labor from dawn to dusk as soon as they can walk, then sending them straight to military school when they're old enough, all while drilling into them the virtues of personal achievement (material, athletic, and academic).

 

[Desdinova]

it happens all the time that children of "successful happy" parents are lazy.

I've seen this as well. If you look at things on a much larger picture, you can see why this is happening.

Children are a combination of their parents' example and what their parents teach them. If the children look at the parents enjoying an easy, successful lifestyle (without the parents teaching them how to achieve it), the children are going to adopt that lifestyle even though they're leading themselves into total destruction. They'll live off social assistance and sit on their ass all day. Their easy lifestyle isn't coming from their success, it's coming from the government. Their parents hardly had to work, so why should they?

Another trend that seems to be happening is with the baby boomers' kids. The baby boomers grew up in a state of poverty, and would prefer to see their children have the lifestyle they didn't. The parents therefore provide the children with anything they want. The children then become accustomed to having everything handed to them on a silver plate, and continue mooching off their parents in their adult life. I can't tell you how many teenagers I see today with cell phones, stylish clothes, and the latest gizmos. They're too young to work, so where are they getting the money?

Watching the patterns and learning from them is going to provide an ideal way to raise children. It's much like dating - many men are using the examples provided by society, and learning from other men on ways to "behave" toward the opposite sex. They continue to allow themselves to be blinded by the reality that attracting a woman with flowers and basing a relationship on romance doesn't work.