"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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We broke up, then.....

Reno89

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She slept with a co-worker. We were dating for 8 months, and she knew this co-worker for 3 years. They had a FWB thing going on last year 2 months before they transferred and I met her. He has talked about sleeping with her to other co-workers, and she ended up finding out 2 months into us dating each other (we started the day after Christmas and smashed the same night).

May comes around and his birthday comes around. She tells me she decided to forgive him for what he said. Mind you she never confronted him, so he never had to apologize. They work right next to each other at the registers and I work in the warehouse.

I went out of town for my birthday in July, and found out that she was hangin out with him, and i saw a text in her phone asking him "does you miss Ms. Kitty?" I ended up breaking up with her, but she wanted to work things out. I told her to be honest with me, and she said that she slept with the co-worker last Thursday, after he made her dinner

I need you guy's take on this situation and how I should handle it.

Is it possible to downgrade her to jumpoff level, or did it go too far and is too late?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Iceberg

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Reno89 said:
I need you guy's take on this situation and how I should handle it.

Is it possible to downgrade her to jumpoff level, or did it go too far and is too late?
You're too emotionally invested in her to downgrade her to a f**k buddy.

It just wouldn't work. If you continued sleeping with her, you'd get attached again. And then once you got attached, she'd remember how you allowed her to completely disrespect you.

And then she'd think less of you as a man.

And then she'd do it again.
 

Reno89

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June 2010 - they met at the job (same store, different city)
April 2011- they started a fwb agreement after his gf cheated, and she broke up with her bf.
June 2011- he stopped it when he found out she was sleeping with her ex again
August 2011 - them and a couple of others from that store transfer to my store.

December 26, 2011- she calls me up to hang out after work, and I smash in the car that same night

January 2012 - she is taking me out to dinner, paying for hotel rooms, and pushing for monogamy, to which I agree

February 2012 - he goes into details about smashing this chick, and she finds out, but doesn't confront him so no one loses their job.
We continue to date, then she says she loves me on valentines day, to which I said it back because I didn't want to hurt her

May 16, 2012 - she works with him on his birthday, and she says she forgives him for what he said.

June 2012 - he has a family member pass away, and she texts him. They had a fairly brief text Convo about it.

July 2012 -
I am arguing with her over me catching her getting touchy feely with him.
I leave to go to CT for my mothers wedding and my birthday.
I came back before my birthday to spend it with her.
I saw he sent her a message before I left, and she lied and said it was about a co worker, but it was about them meeting up.
We were in the hotel room, and she had a message from her sister, to which she asked me to check it for her, then I saw the whole Convo where they set up a meeting twice while I was gone.
She texts him in that same Convo asking if he misses "Ms Kitty"

September 2, 2012 - I break up with her thinking that she will beg to have me back. She instead was like "wow, so that's it? I didn't know we were breaking up


September 13 - we get into another argument because I called her 3 times and she kept having something she had to do, so I cut her off for the day.
She goes over to his house, he cooks for her, and she sleeps with him.
 

Iceberg

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Reno89 said:
September 13 - we get into another argument because I called her 3 times and she kept having something she had to do, so I cut her off for the day.
She goes over to his house, he cooks for her, and she sleeps with him.
And now it's September 19th, and I stand by what I said earlier.

She disrespected you. You hadn't been broken up for more than 2 weeks, and she's already getting plowed out by this guy. And not to mention, her relationship with this guy was the catalyst for your breaking up with her in the first place. It's not like she ran off to a bar, drunk with grief and f**ked a random person. She f**ked the guy she's been talking to throughout your relationship. And you think Sept 13 was the first time?

So uh, why are you trying to keep her around? Nothing to save here.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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pdx1138

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Listen to these guys RENO.

She's a first class attention slore.

No recovery from this one. (speaking from experience)

Move on and take whatever time you need get over her.
This might be a good lesson to you, why it's not a good
idea to dip into company ink.
 

flashpoint

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so basically she had some sort of an affair with him while you guys were together, you broke if off with her on Sept. 2 because of that and on Sept. 13 he is focking her. is there anything unclear? she is with him now. you guys are history. case closed. right?

there is no use of trying to figure out the when and why. just be happy to be rid of her. seems like she has a hard time to be faithful in relationships and likes to tell stupid lies instead. who wants that?

i imagine that it must feel hard, since she basically started it all and gave you her attention, love? and such, and now she just took it away as if it was nothing. well ... obviously it was nothing so you wont miss it anyway. or at least shouldnt. maybe next time try to make "her" work a little more for the relationship and be less easy to get (e.g. the monogamy thing). the more she needs to invest the more she will value the investment.
 

BadNews

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GET THE FVCK RID OF HER! AND NEVER LOOK BACK!

...That is literally all you need to know and hear at this point. NOTHING ELSE!

- BadNews
 

Reno89

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GotED? said:
Her interest level in you is very low - you are just an orbiter in her world until she dumps you swinging branches to another Alpha boy.
Here is the thing: I can smash her anytime I please. It's just that he can too, along with other people. She broke up with her ex last year a couple of months before they started messing around. And while she was messing around with the co-worker, the ex comes back into the picture and smashes. That is why her and the co-worker stopped in the first place.

Dudes run this chick.
 

betheman

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Reno89 said:
Dudes run this chick.
Sounds like she is running the show
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Iceberg

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Reno89 said:
Here is the thing: I can smash her anytime I please. It's just that he can too, along with other people. She broke up with her ex last year a couple of months before they started messing around. And while she was messing around with the co-worker, the ex comes back into the picture and smashes. That is why her and the co-worker stopped in the first place.

Dudes run this chick.

Cool. Sounds like the kind of ex girlfriend you really should keep in your life.

I'm sure a lot of good will come from this...
 

Kbomb

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Reno89 said:
Here is the thing: I can smash her anytime I please. It's just that he can too, along with other people. She broke up with her ex last year a couple of months before they started messing around. And while she was messing around with the co-worker, the ex comes back into the picture and smashes. That is why her and the co-worker stopped in the first place.

Dudes run this chick.

This logic is flawless.

Dude, you don't believe you can get new ***** or that your going to have to work real hard to get it so you still want to be around this chick. You need to man up and take the loss and work hard to make headway into your journey as a DJ.
 

GoodButNotGreat

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Find a new girl. This girl is a slvt and you should feel embarrassed to have dated her. Learn from your mistakes, you're 23, and you will find a better girl who can actually keep it real.
 

Slickster

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The fact that you are giving this deceiver another second of your thoughts is pretty effing sad!

I feel disgust after reading stuff like this.

How do you expect respect from women if you can't respect yourself?
 

Reno89

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Slickster said:
The fact that you are giving this deceiver another second of your thoughts is pretty effing sad!

I feel disgust after reading stuff like this.

How do you expect respect from women if you can't respect yourself?
You're right.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Reno89

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I have gotten so rusty and I have become out of shape. I am also having a hard time finding a full time job.
 
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