We both made out with the same girl.

[Gunner26]

Title sums it all up rather nicely.

My housemate and I both got off with the same girl (HB6/7) a couple weeks ago, just before we all went back home for Christmas from uni. We both knew that the other had done it, but not until the morning after it happened.

I'm not that interested in this girl, I see her more as a friend, and I only really made out with her because I was horny on a night out. On the other hand I think my friend likes her a bit more than he is letting on, but he has always been a bit more shy/withdrawn when it comes to discussing women with the house, there's nothing wrong with that, but it would help if I knew where he stood.

I'm keen to let him go for it, and remain friendly with the girl, I think he needs it more than me, even though I'm a virgin and he is not, it just seems like a bigger deal to him.

There was an interesting situation last night where we had people round for drinks before going out. This girl came. She walked straight over to us 2 (me and my housemate) and started having a chat. The girl is giving me more attention than my housemate and we are flirting, my housemate looks a little uncomfortable so I excuse myself and leave the two of them alone, 5 minutes later I'm somewhere else talking to some other people and she comes over to talk some more, leaving my housemate alone.

Then we hit the town, throughout the night different people were telling me to go for it with her, because she likes me and all that, I didn't. I did notice that she was looking at me all night, we also danced together for a bit.

All this time my housemate is dancing with us as well, and she just isn't giving him as much attention as she is me.

So what do I do?

I really do feel that my housemate wants it more than me, he's just a bit too shy to say something, or make another move.

I'm leaning towards trying to have a chat with him one on one. If he tells me he likes her, I'll continue as normal, friendly and flirty, or maybe even tone down the flirtatiousness. However if he says he doesn't like her, I'll probably go for it, just because she seems keen.

Feedback would be appreciated gents.

Gunner

 

[El Payaso]

Are you a man or a f@ggot? Have you not learned that attraction IS NOT A LOGICAL DECISION? She is attracted to you for a reason and NOT your housemate. Get a grip and take advantage of what you have.

 

[Gunner26]

This isn't about whether I am a man or not. I know that attraction is not a logical decision, maybe she does like me more than my housemate, however this situation isn't about who does she like more, it's about which of us two likes her.

There's a reason that I live with my housemate, he's one of my best friends, and I'm not willing to let a potential mix up with a girl get in the way of that. No girl is worth getting into a fight with my mate. If he likes her more, which I presume he does, then I won't go for it.

I appreciate that you think I should go for it with her, but the reason I haven't isn't because I'm a fag, and you'd do well to realise that if you're ever in a similar situation, not everything is about being the alpha horndog who get's the girl.

Gunner

 

[foreverAFC]

give her the DP

 

[SmooveMooves]

Some people offer the most D1ckheaded advice smh.
Your right on track man, talk to your buddy about it, something like " Hey how do you feel about so-and-so".
Depending on his response and your goals, move in or back-off.

 

[gravityeyelids]

...why would you not just ask your buddy about it?

 

[CrimsonPanther]

give her the DP

^^ this

 

[Gunner26]

give her the DP

Haha, I actually did try joking about this at the house party/predrinks when we were together. Both my housemate and the girl got pretty uncomfortable about it, even though I was only joking around.

@Smoothmoves - I appreciate the response, that's exactly what I'm planning on doing.

@gravityeyelids - A lot of the time I like to put my idea down in writing first and get an outside perspective when it comes to women, even if the solution is obvious, it helps to be sure.

Gunner

 

[Turuwal]

You are being selfish by putting your own insecurities above her sexual needs. By not responding to her, you are forcing her to go out and find guys who might not be as compatible, or who might be a$$holes. Your friend is using you as an easier way to find girls for himself because he is scared. You should not worry about upsetting him. If he sleeps with her, he will subtly use it against you.

There will be something in your past that is causing your insecurity. Push yourself out of your comfort zone repeatedly until you can identify the connection with your past, then break through it.

All of this will take time and effort, but it will be worth it in the end.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

ok i was trolling/joking, but if it really is that a big deal to you, or your friend, leave it as it is, and find another girl either way, do as you please, you are responsible for noone.
i had a similar case, when a friend of mine wanted to bag a girl (she was also a friend of mine), and he invited her to play piano for 3 months, but never escalated, and one time me and the girl were walking and a heavy rainstorm came, we sheltered in an abandoned house, and she confessed she loves me but it nothing can happen because the guy will get hurt, despite the fact that she has put him in friendzone. so we had sex right there, and went steady for 2 weeks, and when my friend found out he was mad at me didn't even speak to me for a year.
the girl eventually got married to an indian guy and moved to the Netherlands, and she cheated on him with his brother...
my friend eventually thanked me for sparing him the heartbreak.

tl;dr, go with your gut feelings, you never know what can happen until you try it.

 

[Uncharted]

Are you serious? Why do you care so much? If me and one of my friends are interested in a girl, we see it as a competition to see who can F first.

One chick banged my friend, then me, then my third friend, then back to my first friend - all within 4 months. She's definitely relationship material.:crackup:

 

[Gunner26]

Well I spoke to my mate, cleared it all up, he is interested in her quite a lot, so I let him have it.

He ended up getting with her again last night, so all is good, I remained friendly and left it at that. He thanked me the next morning.

@Turuwal - Nope. I wouldn't call it my insecurities, I would call it my friend liking her a lot more than I do, and as this guy is one of my best mates, I do care about how he feels, I don't want to risk upsetting him, because a girl isn't worth it.
I do cede however that I am still a little insecure, and I know it's to do with the fact that I became very withdrawn and shy after I hit puberty, that's not so anymore. While I'm not entirely confident on the inside, I don't let it show, and regularly get told I'm a very confident guy, the inner game process is taking a while, but I am slowly getting there. This instance with my friend is completely different to that.

@ Uncharted - Normally I would have said yeah it's fair game; with my other mates that's how it works. This friend though is a lot shyer, and he doesn't really open up as much, unless you get a one on one talk. Because I know and live with him I got the sense that he liked her a lot more than he was letting on. Something I was right about. Considering this, I feel I should back off, and let him have a go.

Thanks for the replies boys. All were appreciated.

Gunner