Originally posted by ZenDragon on ASF
The ASF community has always been basing its theories, methods, techniques, and routines base on the fundamental belief that women are generally attracted to the so called ‘alpha’ male. And with that comes all these theories and ideas about what makes a guy ‘alpha’, and what a guy can do to present himself in this ‘alpha’ way in order to attract women.
WRONG
This is not how attraction works. This is only typical idiotic egoistic man thinking. Its like how men make movies about ‘alpha’ heros, acting and behaving in ways that fills MEN’S fantasies, and how they always get the girl at the end. This is the way WE like to think how women SHOULD be attracted to us. But unfortunately it’s just an illusion. It’s a lie. It’s a fantasy we created for ourselves and none of us wanted to face the obvious truth, that has always been right in front of us. We’re too busy trying to be ‘alpha’.
People don’t find each other attractive for their ‘alphaness’. That was never the reason.
Humans, are attracted to the type of person, who possesses certain qualities, character traits, personalities, values...that we lack, but desire to have.
The longest relationship I’ve ever had was 3 years. It was in college. I grow up in a broken family, I hung out with non-main stream people, and I didn’t have much family value. But it was always my desire to have grown up in a complete and loving family. And I always wanted to fit in and be part of the mainstream groups. But my upbringing shaped this outcast character in me. When I met my girlfriend (ex), she was almost the opposite of me, she had a complete family, she had strong family value, she hung out with the ‘mainstream’ people whom I sorta knew but never cared to get to know. Back then she had a history of watching movies or TV shows that involves outcast bad boys with a good heart meeting a good girl and eventually being turned into a good boy by that good girl and live happily ever after. It was a fantasy she never got to live in the environment she was in. I was a depressed bad boy, she was a happy bubbly girl. So when the 2 of us met, it was almost love of the first sight, we met for 1 week and started going out for the 3 years that this relationship lasted.
How did the relationship end? From spending time with her family I learn a lot of family values, and in those 3 year we dated my own family situation got better. I went through personal development programs and became a much more positive person. I started making friends and were more accepted in the ‘mainstream’ group. I developed all these qualities all within myself...I no longer needed her.
When I was a bad boy all the good girls find themselves attracted to me. Now my life is healthier and more positive (I quit smoking AND drinking a few years ago) I find all these party girls who have no directions in life and wish their life could be more productive wanting to be a part of my life.
You see, if a person desires to be outgoing and is not, he/she would be naturally attracted to outgoing personalities
If a person desired to get laid in high school or college and never was able to do so, he would be attracted to young girls even if he 50 (no need to raise your hands).
If a person wants to be a successful business person and isn’t yet able to do so, he/she would be attracted to that type of people.
You always see super fat women going out with super skinny guys.
Tom Cruise found himself a very tall girlfriend (Nichol Kidman)
A person will continue to be attracted to someone who possesses his/her desired character UNTIL he/she either becomes that character, or gets over it.
So what’s the point of all this?
I don’t care who you are, what you do, what you look like, how you live you life, there would ALWAYS be girls who would find you attractive. YES HOT ONES TOO!!! All you need to do is to discover them and then continue being yourself. Trying to put on or develop ‘alpha behaviors’ is ridiculous because it not only clouds up who you really are and ruin your own chances with girls who would naturally be attracted to the REAL you, even the type of girls who find ‘alpha behaviors” attractIVE will be repulsed by you, because it’s incongruent and fake. Girls are more aware and alert then you think, they pay more attention to you then you do to them.
Instead of trying to package yourself a certain way in attempt to attract ‘everyone’.
Get to know yourself, know YOU at this moment in time, and know who you’re attracted to, and know who would be attracted to you. Learn to be yourself. Then go out there and allow this natural force of attraction to happen.
"That seems too easy to be true, I’ve been myself all these years and never gotten anything"
Trust me, being someone else is easy, being yourself is hard. I don’t believe for a second any of you who have trouble getting laid are YOURSELVES when you’re around attractive girls. You must breakthrough that fear of being yourself with women. There is no other way. No methods, gimmick, routines, techniques...etc can help you. If you have a habit of turning into another person and act very differently with attractive girls than with your friends, THAT is the reason you haven’t been successful with attracting them. It’s NOT your lack of ‘skills’, it’s NOT your lack of ‘alpha behaviors’. It’s simply your fear of being yourself around girls and your unwillingness to allow the natural attraction to take its place.
