We All Go Through It

[Young OG]

Unfortunately, if you can't prove that she's a drug addict, abuses your kid, or has your kid in a unsafe environment, the court will side with her over custody. They always side with the woman. Her living in a home with multiple people and having no job won't get you custody. Any money you do give her from here out, make sure you are leaving a paper trail. Use checks or money orders, save the stubs and make photo copies of the originals.

 

[exhausted]

I said HELL NO. Thats what that 800$. She then proceeded to try to argue with me. I then told her to accept it, take me to court, or give me custody of my son. She says she needs to put my son in Daycare so she can get a part time substitute teacher job... which pays ****.

This girl tries to argue with me over everything still when we aren't together. I pretty much have not talked to her in 3 days and she goes on a rant on how I don't care about my son because I haven't called or text her asking how my son was. I didn't know I had to text and call her everyday just to ask how my son is doing. I'm assuming he is doing good unless I hear otherwise.

Yes I think I need to hire an attorney. If I hire one and get papers for everything it can't be an argument on anything since everything is court ordered. I've been thinking about taking it one step further and trying to get custody of my son. This girl doesn't have a job and lives in a house with 5+ people with her mom and dysfunctional parents. Am I setting my son up for failure letting him live in Florida or do I need to fight for custody and have him in a stable home in Atlanta?

At 21 years old I went to court and got full custody of my infant son. I am 37 and he is now 16 and I have raised him myself along with some help here and there from my parents and grandmother. Point being, you are gonna need some help at some point and if you want full custody and you travel like you do you may be at a disadvantage to get him. Secondly that dumb woman, yes she is dumb like the rest of them, does NOT need a day care until she HAS a job. Who the hell puts their kid in day care waiting to be called for a substitute teaching job??? She just does not want to raise him. She is lazy. Get a laywer ASAP and start making your paper trail of efforts. Send a text to her every day asking how HE Is that day and keep your phone records to show a judge you made an attempt to make contact everyday after she tries to say you didnt, she will look the liar and you will look honest and genuine. This is chess, not checkers you have to think 5 moves ahead at all times..

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Great advice above. I will text her everyday and ask how he is doing. I do travel for work but I do pick and choose my contracts. Plus I'd be more then Likely living with my parents and they'd help me.

She said she got a job as a substitute teacher and will need to go to an orientation or some stuff like that so she needs to put him in day care. After I tell her no for giving her even more money she calls me 30 minutes later and tells me that my son needs extra shots so he could go to day care as well. I'm like... Do you want me to take care of him then since you can't take him to get shots? She then proceeds to yell at me saying what the hell am I talking about. Smh. She was trying to ask me for even more money. My mom even gave her a thousand dollars last week without my permission and I was a tad bit ticked. And this dumb ***** is still asking for money.

This is the real her. The always mad always yelling never respectful, and user etc. she tried to hide it for a while but I knew it was there

 

[Tenacity]

This is the real her. The always mad always yelling never respectful, and user etc. she tried to hide it for a while but I knew it was there

They always hide it my friend....they never reveal it until it's too late.

Get you an attorney immediately and fight for some type of custody. Or, at the very least, just prepare yourself for the worse case which might be you not being able to see your kid for more than 2 - 4 days out of the month, paying excessive child support, seeing the money NOT going to your kid, but instead seeing the money being spent by the mother for things of her enjoyment such shopping or taking care of some loser guy.

The market is fvcked.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'm hiring a lawyer as soon as possible before this gets more ugly then what it needs to be. I'm going to fight for custody and if I lose I'm gonna have them notarize our prior agreement of 800$ unless my lawyer thinks I can get less.

She calls me and tries to bash me for being a bad father because I'm letting her and my son live in a house with dirty bathrooms and 8 people are living there. She assumes it's my problem that she moved there. Also she called me asking am I paying utilities which were in her name at the house she left. I said no and she got mad and then goes on a tangent how I'm the definition of a controlling boyfriend.

This is getting more ridiculous per call. This girl is crazy as hell. I refuse to pay for anything else on that house since she moved out. No point since I'm not there nor am I supporting anyone there. This is gonna mess up my credit but I'm not wasting 1600$ a month on something for the next 11 months on something that I will rarely use.

So after I tell her no she tells me that I'm gonna make her life miserable once she finds someone new. I told her I honestly don't give a ****.

This really is just giving me more headaches and stressing me out. I'm gonna just tell her we need a mediator to talk anything out and/or we will just let the courts decide everything because all we do is argue. It's the same exact thing as before we broke up. SAME EXACT ****.

 

[sodbuster]

Get a lawyer and see what the laws are for taping phone conversations in your state. See if it makes a difference when you travel to another state. IF possible, tape her, then use it in court if you need to. Get it on record now.... so you can use it later. This is war. BUT, one thing you NEED to think about is do you WANT full custody? I was going for it, before I figured I could date on the days she had them..... but there was the child support "issue" and the court WILL screw you at that hearing. Bring your lawyer.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Talked to a lawyer again today. If I wanna sue for any type of child custody or child support I would have to do it in Florida. Based on my income 800$ is a bargain as well for child support. So I may have to just stick to 800$ until I get another job and then put myself on child support.

Next time I speak to her I will come up with an agreement on custody visitations with my son. After I do that then there is really no conversation that me and her need to talk about except me asking how my son is doing and when do we plan on meeting so I can get my son. Me and her really don't need to talk about anything else because we just don't get along.

That's really all I can do for now unless I want to sue for custody of my child. I'm contemplating that but we will see how it goes in the next couple weeks. I especially don't wanna be on the road workings while I fight for custody as well.

 

[Tenacity]

This is just messed up man. Keep me informed on this. Don't you just hate how society (people here on this forum, in the Manosphere, or society in general) will place the blame on YOU for this situation though?

They will tell you, "Hmph, you should have seen some signs or read through the lines and seen she was crazy! So it's your fault! No, this market of women isn't majority fvcked, YOU just can't pick right!"

How many more examples of GOOD MEN do we need to see, before it's pretty damn clear that there's an epidemic going on in this dating market? AJ is in the prime of his career, making or climbing up to 6 figures, the guy should be focusing all his attention on that and being a good Father, but instead he has to fight some stupid fvcking chick in the legal system. Who has time for all of that? Then when the chick deliberately tries to keep AJ from seeing his kid and he tries to beat the living hell out of her, then they will say that AJ had a mental illness and "he always was crazy with a bad temper".

My point is that WOMEN are never fvcking called out for their stupid, childish, insane and foolish behavior. There's no sanctions by society or the legal system for these fvcking women when they go crazy like this. And we as Men are just supposed to svck it up, "man up" and take it?

Fvck this shyt.....don't marry none of these chicks and don't make any kids with them. If you want a kid, get a surrogate mother.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I ain't ever touching no woman again. No matter what they do. It's not worth what could happen to me.

This situation is very ****ed up. I'm 25, easily making 6 figures, and was providing for my chick and son completely. But I have to go through all of this bs. It's killing me inside but I know I learned some valuable lessons from this ordeal. I know if I'm ever in another relationship that girl will be a benefit for me. Not someone who just drains me. But at the end of the day it is my fault. It's my fault for allowing this nonsense to happen and my fault for choosing the wrong chick.

Now I'll be tied to this woman until the day that I die.

 

[exhausted]

I ain't ever touching no woman again. No matter what they do. It's not worth what could happen to me.

This situation is very ****ed up. I'm 25, easily making 6 figures, and was providing for my chick and son completely. But I have to go through all of this bs. It's killing me inside but I know I learned some valuable lessons from this ordeal. I know if I'm ever in another relationship that girl will be a benefit for me. Not someone who just drains me. But at the end of the day it is my fault. It's my fault for allowing this nonsense to happen and my fault for choosing the wrong chick.

Now I'll be tied to this woman until the day that I die.

I feel for you, my sons mom got pregnant on purpose so I couldnt go away to play baseball (minors) then six months later she is gone and I am standing there holding a baby thinking wtf just happened? Call and close your lease on that apartment, pay the lease cancel fee and keep your credit GOOD it will help u in court look responsible. do NOT allow her to trick you into her game of arguments and fights, expect this crazy ***** to set you up for failure trying to get you to yell and say mean things, i am sure she is taping your conversations. Change your address immediately to your parents so to prove a safe and stable environment for your son.

Sign a lawyer asap.
change your mailing address asap
cancel the lease and pay the penalty
cancel all utilities in your name, send her a text stating the apt is cancelled and for her to discontinue what utilities are in her name. screenshot the text and save it for proof.
Provide health insurance for your son asap. This should already be done and if it is mail her an insurance card for his checkups and shots, text her this has been mailed and screen shot it.

Good luck.

Chess not checkers, dont let her set u up again, dont let her get you mad and yelling that is what she wants

 

[sodbuster]

she's only a problem for you until your son is 18..... or in college. Depends on the state laws. IF you want to pay for college or not depends on how your SON treats you.... If he see's through her lies or not. I was Divorced with 2 sons, I know what you are up against in court. Luckily you weren't married to her. There was a book "scr@W the B!tch" on divorce I read about 5 years before I had mine, but court still got me.... somewhat

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Why in hell did you give her that money. When I found out my wife was cheating on me, I kept it to myself for about a week and a half, trying to figure out my next move. In that time she asked me for $600 to get her car fixed. There was no way in hell I was gonna give that cheating bytch another penny, so I told her to go ask her mother.

Whether you like it or not, you've spoiled her with your income. She was able to get anything she wanted. Once the relationship had officially ended, you should have started saying "No, we're not together anymore. It's your job now to find these solutions".

When the bytch that drove me to sosuave was trying to disassemble the bed and needed help, I told her "No, you wanted to 'do things for yourself', so disassemble the bed yourself. Then she starts crying. Poor baby was having a hard time.

The relationship is over. Your job of supporting her is over. The only thing contact you should have with her is to support your child, and you can bet she'll use that money for other 5hit. Pay what you're legally required and THAT'S IT.

Good fecking story Desdinova and I couldnt agree more with your strategy. The thing that really gets me the most, is that in a situation like yours, she will still try for the pity emotion. I have done and will do the same - cut her off, leave her to do everything on her own and delete her from my life.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'm definitely not paying for my sons college. He can get loans just like I did.

Desd great story. Not sure what happened to your post but I will give her the minimum I have to give her without her running to the courts. Point blank period. If my son needs anything I can pay for it directly.

So I actually got fired from my job today and the lady would not give me a reason at all. There was still a month left on my contract. So I head back to Georgia tomorrow. My next contract isn't lined up until December. So if I can't find a good contract it's good leverage to tell her I have no job and no income right now. Best believe I will not be telling her about any contracts I will receive in the future.

 

[Tenacity]

I'm definitely not paying for my sons college. He can get loans just like I did.

Desd great story. Not sure what happened to your post but I will give her the minimum I have to give her without her running to the courts. Point blank period. If my son needs anything I can pay for it directly.

So I actually got fired from my job today and the lady would not give me a reason at all. There was still a month left on my contract. So I head back to Georgia tomorrow. My next contract isn't lined up until December. So if I can't find a good contract it's good leverage to tell her I have no job and no income right now. Best believe I will not be telling her about any contracts I will receive in the future.

You could try the strategy of saying you were cut off from all of your contract jobs recently, especially seeing as though you are about to enter the Child Support legal negotiations. This might lead to you paying a very low amount of required child support. I say it "might" because the Judge sometimes takes into account if you have a degree and what you were making in years' prior, to determine if you have the "capability" to go out there and make more money but are refusing to do so to get out of paying a high amount of child support.

But drug dealers get away with this all of the time. Because they are paid illegally with these under the table/radar drug jobs, there's no tracking that through the tax system, which means it's can't be extracted through the child support system.

It's immoral in theory because it's like you are screwing your child over, but LIKE YOU SAID, if you are willing to do the right thing and provide X, Y and Z for your child when the need arises, you are still doing your job as a Father/Provider for your kid.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'll spoil my son way more then I'll spoil myself. As long as I know the money is going to him then I would give him all of my money I have now straight up no lie. I love him that much.

The problem is I don't wanna be paying for no chicks bill anymore. I have a son and he is way more important then she would ever be.

 

[dustmuffin]

Get a lawyer and see what the laws are for taping phone conversations in your state. See if it makes a difference when you travel to another state. IF possible, tape her, then use it in court if you need to. Get it on record now.... so you can use it later. This is war. BUT, one thing you NEED to think about is do you WANT full custody? I was going for it, before I figured I could date on the days she had them..... but there was the child support "issue" and the court WILL screw you at that hearing. Bring your lawyer.

The national law is as long as one party that is conversing on the phone knows it's tapped then it is legal. I learned this in Journalism Law years ago so it probably would be good to double check.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I got a lot of time to think about this. I got fired from my contract and probably will be off until November. I do have a contract lined up for December and that's it for the rest of the year.

I plan on heading back to Georgia and moving all the stuff out of my house by the first and giving the keys back to the landlord. Then I'm going to live with my parents for a while until I stop traveling as much.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

So this girl calls me today. and tries to ask me why I didn't try harder to get her back? She then tries to persuade me to move to Florida to be a family with her.

I'm not wasting my time by trying. I don't negotiate with terrorists. I'm not sucking up and brown nosing to no chick and to be quite honest I enjoy being single for once.

 

[Tenacity]

So this girl calls me today. and tries to ask me why I didn't try harder to get her back? She then tries to persuade me to move to Florida to be a family with her.

I'm not wasting my time by trying. I don't negotiate with terrorists. I'm not sucking up and brown nosing to no chick and to be quite honest I enjoy being single for once.

Yeah, she's just full of fvcking drama. Who the hell asks somebody that they push away, why didn't you fight harder to stay? Bytch the question is, why in the hell were you fighting to push me away in the first place?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Yea, she's crazy. I haven't talked to her in 4 days for a reason. Everytime I talk to her I feel my blood pressure and stress rise. It absolutely makes no sense now that she is calling me wanting me to move to Florida and get back with her. No thanks, I don't even like her. All she ever did was use my resources and stress me the hell out. If she wanted any type of reconciliation she should've tried a couple weeks ago. At this point I'm glad that she's gone.