Wats with all this dating fo couple of weeks or months then LTR crap??

[YoungSir4sho]

U kno i been readin lately that alot of u date a girl fo weeks or months b4 actually gettin into a relationship. Mayb its jus me since almost all of my girls dat i had relationships wit was from online but eitha i ask them out on da phone to b my girl or afta our 1st date i jus ask her if she wants to b my girl or not. Mayb its because wit most of my past girls i usually b on the phone wit them fo a few hours like 4-6 almost everyday.....

I really find it much easier that, like right now i jus got into a new relationship 2days ago n only knew her since sunday. So explain to me wats with all this datin a few months then get into LTR crap about.

1 more ?, i dont kno bout u ppl but ppl aroun my age n younger usually dont even do the whole dating thing. We jus call them n ask them do u want to chill n we see a movie n jus do our thing thats it. Sometimes I do wish it was like the old days where u tell her to b ready at 7:30 n u pick her up at her house n drop her off late at night but who still does any of that crap now lol

 

[Obsidian]

where do you live? what is jamaica queenz?

 

[YoungSir4sho]

lol, i live in nyc. queens as in da borough in nyc n da part im at is jamaica queenz na mean. How bout ppl actually come in here to reply wit answers/advice instead of bashin feel me

 

[Remulak]

You're 23 and you write like that? That's what I would expect from a 16 year old trying to be cool. People on this site aren't going to respond to a question written in ebonics. Write in English and you'll get a response.

 

[ego]

Hi man, I gotta give it to the other people - it took me like 10 extra minutes to decode that message ;-) but, that's cool with me, i'm free all day.

Anway... the reason most people don't do it "your way" is probably in lack of confidence and also fear of commitment (i think that's the way you spell it) Here's what I mean:

... You rather go slow for a couple of months and escalate the whole relationship thing before you "become a couple" since the guy is afraid of feeling "too pushy" if he asks her to become a "official girlfriend" after the second date.

The other reason and what I meant with "fear of comitment" is that most guys and girls have a fear of comitment to a relationship. This means, that they don't want to be someones girlfriend/boyfriend because it means they can't date other people. I've been afraid of this myself for a long time. I mean think about it - you hook up with different girls different days and then suddenly one of them tells you:

"Hey man, you gotta stop meet this other beautiful women because now I want you to be exclusive with me".

That scared the **** out of me for a while, until I found a girl with ALL the qualities the other women shared.

Another reason to this behavior is the fear of getting dumped and hurted emotional. Think about it:

You can't really be dumped if you never end up in a real relationship. Girls think like this all the time:

"Uh oh, I like this guy so much but what if we become a couple and he dumps me, he'll break my heart if I give it to him."

and then they go:

"But, if I just date him I can't get involved emotionally, and therefor he can't break my heart - since I'll never give it to him."


I kinda wish it what like the good old days aswell bro.

 

[The Forms]

Because it usually takes me a few weeks or a month to decide if I WANT this girl to be my girlfriend. Why would you commit to a girl you've only been on one date with? I've got to spend enough time with her to know that I WANT to be committed to her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

eitha i ask them out on da phone to b my girl or afta our 1st date i jus ask her if she wants to b my girl or not.


Man, I could not disagree more. I have had plenty of girls, and never once in my life have I asked a girl to be my girl or my gf - never. I have two GFs now. Both of them constantly ask to be my only girl - asking for a LTR is female behavior. When a guy does it, he removes the mystery and wondering if he likes her - women love to wonder if you like them; it's good to stay a challenge. Sorry friend, I mean you no disrespect, but I think that asking for a commitment after the first date is AFC behavior.

 

[Obsidian]

yeah, I think Bible Belt voices the popular sosuave reason that guys don't do it your way, Jamaica man. I think I agree with The Forms most of all, but those are both pretty good reasons not to ask.

unless you, in some way, only go on first dates with girls that you already know you're really compatible with and who really like you

 

[The Bat]

I think Bilbe Belt nailed it to the point.

Plus, why would you want to be in a LTR only after couple of dates? It's like asking your co-worker to be your best friend only a week after you start work.

Quality LTR's take time. Asking to be exclusive is totally desperate and AFC if you've only gone on two or three dates.

 

[Effington]

It's one thing to speak in slang all the time, but if you don't know how to write, then I feel bad that the public school system has failed you so badly.

As for the topic at hand, there's no need to discuss this kind of thing. As Seinfeld puts it, if it's Friday night, is it an inferred date? Do you talk to her even if you're not getting together? Defining it is silly, unnecessary, and a waste of brain cells. Just let it be. I had one girl coerce me into signing an exclusivity deal after we had been hanging out for about a month and I introduced her to my friends as "a friend". The catch: she made me say it right as she was taking off my pants. Talk about coersion!

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Like i said maybe u ppl do that ur way, how
i do is my way n it works. Also maybe its different for me cuz if im wit one girl if i see another girl i like i will talk to her n might make her my other gf too. So really even if i say its exclusive really in my head im thinkin im gonna get wit as many girls as i can