Was this right?

[Don Wha]

Ok, so I'm a little new to this, but I'm am improving. Just trying to get some feedback on if this was the right thing to do in this situation.

Anyways, here it is. I was out bowling with a group of friends. After we're done, my buddies are hanging outside. They're having a smoke and I'm just hanging. I notice this HB8 go out the doors and her group of friends are just kinda hanging outside too. I notice her and work some eye contact. She falls for it. I'm just hanging with my buddies still, just having fun. Next thing u know, I turn over and her and 1 or 2 of her friends are talking to each other, but they managed to work their way over and were pretty close to me.

I somehow jump into their convo and start talking to her. Her IL was definitely there as I was cracking some small jokes and talking her up. Well her friends start to leave and she turns away to leave too. I grab her hand to stop her and ask her for her number.

Then she tells me in a ****y funny tone "no, you give me YOUR number".

me: "no, I dont play games like that"

her: "games?, what games?"

me: "those games"

her: "well I guess thats too bad then"

me: " yea, too bad for you, because I'm a great guy, are you sure you're not going to give me your number?"

she smiles and starts walking away slowly.

me: "last chance"

then I walk back to my buddies, say bye to them, and jump in my car and leave.

She was definitely cute and we were getting along pretty well when we were talking. I'm guessing I coulda raised her interest level a little more. Our conversation was more small talk and me throwing in jokes. I didnt really get to provoke other emotions other than laughter. I'll try to get into deeper conversations with girls next time.

Anyways, thoughts? Would you guys have given her your number? I think if i did...70% chance she woulda called or contacted me, but you never know with woman. It just didnt seem like the DJ thing to do. We'll see if I see her again next tuesday.

Thanks for any input.

-Don Wha in the making

 

[kingsam]

i would say you did the right thing :yes: ... basically any thing other than "YES here is my number" is some level of rejection... if a girl likes you they are happy to give their number (some girls even give their number out without the interest!)
the typical AFC beheviour (most guys would have done) would have been some desperate attempt to maintain contact and give your number to her - giving her all the power between the two of you to control the situation/what happens/all on her terms ...not good...
theres many possible reasons why she didnt give her number...so dont worry about it...
remember your the catch not her, and stick to your principles.

 

[Igetit!]

Well in my opinion,the fact that you even walked up to the girl and tried was half the battle right there. Yes,you made some mistakes,but you deserve props for attempting the approach to begin with.

Alright,now let's see...

Well her friends start to leave and she turns away to leave too. I grab her hand to stop her and ask her for her number.

Then she tells me in a ****y funny tone "no, you give me YOUR number".

me: "no, I dont play games like that"

her: "games?, what games?"

me: "those games"

her: "well I guess thats too bad then"

me: " yea, too bad for you, because I'm a great guy, are you sure you're not going to give me your number?"

OK,you see that part I put in bold,the part where you TOLD HER that you were a "great guy"? You shouldn't have said that.

You don't want to verbalize your attractive qualities to a girl,you want to SHOW them,to DEMONSTRATE them. Don't say it,just be it.


A tall person doesn't have to tell me or try to convince me that he's tall,it's evident all on it's own.


If you're rich,you shouldn't have to go,"I'm rich. No I am. No really,I am".

You shouldn't have to convince someone that you're rich. If I see you in a 3 piece suit,you just parked your Lexus,and you look at your Rolex to see what time is it,all those things speak for themselves.

I'll be able to tell you're rich without you even opening your mouth.



That's how you should be with a girl. Don't tell her you're a "great guy",just be one. Let her see it on her own,don't get into some discussion with her trying to persuade her to think you're great.

she smiles and starts walking away slowly.

me: "last chance"

This "last chance" remark has a hint of desperation to it. You sort of DLV'ed yourself here.

She was definitely cute and we were getting along pretty well when we were talking. I'm guessing I coulda raised her interest level a little more.

Raised it a little more? To be honest,it didn't seem like it was rasied at all to me.

I think you may have a problem recognizing the differece between genuine interest from a girl,and her just being "polite".

Our conversation was more small talk and me throwing in jokes. I didnt really get to provoke other emotions other than laughter.

Bingo. This explains her lack of interest. Women don't feel attractive from "small talk". They feel attraction from you being a MAN.

They feel attraction from you being strong,dominant,agressive and take charge. Did you do any of this while you spoke to her,or was it just a bunch of "small talk and joking around"?

I'll try to get into deeper conversations with girls next time.

I don't know what your definition of "deeper" is,but if you mean talking about family and friends,what your hobbies and interests are,where you work or go to school at and such,DON'T GO THERE YET.

That's all COMFORT.


You have yet to create attraction in her. If you skip the attraction and just go straight to the comfort stage,you'll run a HIGH RISK of getting friendzoned.

Anyways, thoughts? Would you guys have given her your number?

NO.

You did the right thing here.

I think if i did...70% chance she woulda called or contacted me,

A 70% chance? I think that's too high. Decrease it by 70 and that should be about right.

Look,she was laughing and joking around with you up until you showed your interest to her,then she just turned and walked away.


If a woman really,REALLY likes a guy,if she really,REALLY does,do you think she would just walk off from him without getting or receiving any contact info from him? You think she would take the chance of never seeing or running into him again if she were really attracted to him?


Because that's what she did with you. She walked off not knowing if she'd ever see you again,and apparently,not caring either.


Would you do that with a "hot girl"? If she offered you her number,would you just turn your back on her and walk away knowing she could lose interest and some other guy could come and scoop her up?


Would you do that with a girl you were really,really attracted to?

Because I wouldn't.


And if a women truely likes you,she wouldn't either.


But you know what though? Despite ALL THIS,I still think you may have a chance. She turned you down,but that's not the end.


It's better to get rejected than to be friendzoned.

As long as you're not friendzoned,there's hope.


You just need to STOP JOKING AROUND with her the next time you see her,and go with some attraction based convo instead.

 

[f283000]

I'm sick and tired of giving reputation to Igetit! I mean seriously he needs to stop pwning posts! well not really

Then she tells me in a ****y funny tone "no, you give me YOUR number".

translation = I just want to get away from you. Just give me your number which i'll never call and just get this over with.

The moment a woman refuses to give out the # is the time you say bye and go on to the next one. Most women are not going to give #s out to strangers they just met unless they are attractive or interesting to them. Not only that but when they refuse and you have to beg them for it how do you think that makes you look in their eyes? Even if she does end up giving you her # due to feeling sorry for you what do you think your chances are of her not ignoring you considering she didn't even want to give it to you in the first place? What do you think the chances are of getting this girl who doesn't think enough of you to want to give you her #?

You have yet to create attraction in her. If you skip the attraction and just go straight to the comfort stage,you'll run a HIGH RISK of getting friendzoned.

If you are looking for ways on how to do this.

1. CREATE CONFLICT
One of the easiest way to create attraction is to create CONFLICT. Conflict can be created through disagreements. I know it goes against everything you were taught and know but it makes you attractive to a woman. One tip I have used is to listen to what they are saying and find the first little thing you disagree with that they are saying, interrupt them and say "i disagree, i believe etc etc etc." In fact I do this with every woman I have ever met since I found out about this tactic. Not just to create attraction but to create respect for myself.

Think about it for a moment. What will most guys do when first talking to a girl? listen, nod their heads, say "yeah me too (a dozen times)" basically just a nice conversation that will probably be forgotten the next day. Now what if instead of just listening, agreeing with everything she says like every other person out there has in their first conversation with her, what if you were to interrupt her mid sentence and state your disagrement with her on what she is saying? What is a woman more likely to remember the next day? the guy that she had a bland and forgetable conversation with or you the guy that disagreed with her on 3 separate issues and showed yourself to be "different" in doing so?

Disagree with women and disagree with them often. Don't just say "I disagree" you also need to explain why. When you do you are showing her that you have your own beliefs, your own convictions and that you are passionate about something enough to disagree with her! Those 3 traits in bold are attractive to a woman.

 

[Don Wha]

wow. good stuff.

Looks like I'm gauging IL based on her comfort level. Flaw in my game is that I need to create more attraction. What are you guys doing to increase this? I'm thinking kino, c+f, and withdraw? Its a little difficult to throw in all of these things in a <10 min convo, especially withdraw.

Thanks for the points and being straight up about it. Exactly what I needed to step it up some more.

-Don Wha in the making

 

[f283000]

wow. good stuff.

Looks like I'm gauging IL based on her comfort level. Flaw in my game is that I need to create more attraction. What are you guys doing to increase this? I'm thinking kino, c+f, and withdraw? Its a little difficult to throw in all of these things in a <10 min convo, especially withdraw.

Thanks for the points and being straight up about it. Exactly what I needed to step it up some more.

-Don Wha in the making

I updated my post right before yours it seems (creating attraction through conflict) you probably didn't get to see it. When it comes to kino every girl that you meet and you are attracted to you should put your hand on them not long after meeting them. Just find something you agree with them and put your hand on their shoulder for like a second while saying "oh yeah me too the other day i ....." She won't suspect a thing. I also do it when we part ways "you know what I just realized I have to go catch up with my friend who is waiting for me *puts hand on her shoulder while saying I enjoyed talking to you maybe i'll see you around."

These of course is just basic kino to get you to touch her when first meeting her. Nothing too advanced just getting her being comfortable with your touch and hopefully getting those things in her brain flowing which supposedly kino does.

 

[Ease]

"no, you give me YOUR number".

me: "no, I dont play games like that"

her: "games?, what games?"

me: "those games"

her: "well I guess thats too bad then"

me: " yea, too bad for you, because I'm a great guy, are you sure you're not going to give me your number?"

she smiles and starts walking away slowly.

me: "last chance"

A girl will play you like this when her interest level is not sky high. Since your not tiger woods, its ok that she isnt sky high about you at first glance.

The problem here is that you weenered out too much. You were verbalizing DJ pricinples, if you verbalize and explain what you're doing, it loses effect and you look silly and effected: its a big DLV.

Keep playful and flirty and funny always.

Her: No you give me YOUR number
Me: whoa, now you want my number? so what do you like me or something?
Her: Bla bla no bla bla !
Me: You need to slow down i dont jsut give out my number like that, i dont even know you!
Her: Bla bla
Me: (More tease/cf/chase untill she's giggling and suddenly realises what a stud you are) Alright now give me your number and get lost.

Dont change her mind, change her mood. Talking and being serious is completely useless. This type of situation is where PUA coaches shine, you would be better off reading PUA material for tips and practising pick ups.

ps. this is called buying temperature. If she is saying no or doesnt comply with your request/pick up/number request, then her buying temperature isnt high enough. Raise her buying temperature and try again.

 

[DondottaJuanpappa]

should of gave her your number.

why?

1.you have nothing to lose, if she call, she call, if not, oh well.
2.it shows that you're confident that she'll call

Now you say the convo was based on you telling jokes and making small talk. To me thats not enough to get a rapport going thus closing the deal getting HER number.

(This would of been a great comeback) this is how it should of played out:

her: no, you give me YOUR number

you: you mean to tell me I told you all those jokes and I get nothing in return (saying in a funny way to correspond with her ****y funny tone). Say, lets even out the deal and exchange numbers and you give me a call.

That way she would of thought, "well this guy is deff assertive and confident, I'll deff give him my number now."

Might not of went exactly like that but I know at the end you'd have her number whether or not you gave her yours.

 

[Jhcl4000]

Bingo. This explains her lack of interest. Women don't feel attractive from "small talk". They feel attraction from you being a MAN.

They feel attraction from you being strong,dominant,agressive and take charge. Did you do any of this while you spoke to her,or was it just a bunch of "small talk and joking around"?

I like your posts, Igetit, but I've got to ask... How do you "show her that you're a strong, dominant, aggressive male" during some random cold approach?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I like your posts, Igetit, but I've got to ask... How do you "show her that you're a strong, dominant, aggressive male" during some random cold approach?

The attraction phase of the conversation has to do with matching her perception of you.

Being a strong, dominant, aggressive male can be shown in a number of different ways. In your particular situation you could've

-Locked EC with her
-Smiled
-Immediately approached

That shows confidence (EC and smile) and dominance (approach) because you are walking up to go get what you want.

In your case you displayed shyness by waiting for them to wander closer to you (this also displays lack of confidence because you want to make double sure that she's interested before approaching).

When you initially approach a girl your attracted to talk to her about things that ONLY YOU AND HER CAN TALK ABOUT! Do you think talking about family, friends, what school she goes to etc are getting her wet and excited for you? Exactly!

Instead push the envelope and seduce her; don't be afraid to be a little sexual and get her excited. A lot of guys might not believe this or think this is crazy, but I've had several scenarios where I walk up to a girl after making strong EC and jump right into

a) kino
b) sexual inneudos
c) then wrapping it up with ****y/funny to hook the bait


Guess what happens in these situations? The girl is initially shocked that she's hearing what she's hearing from a virtual stranger, BUT it sparks her curiosity enough and intrigues her about you. She'll be highly likely to answer your calls, agree to go out with you or cancel other plans to see you. Why? Because its RARE for a girl to run into a TRUE DOMINANT MALE who is so sure of himself and gives her the feeling that he could care less whether she's interested or not; a complete role reversal from what you typically see when a girl and guy interact.

Now I will say there is generally a bit of fluff (comfort) conversation that is necessary; however the order of the conversation is highly dependent on the situation. Most guys typically go in this order: fluff, flirt, C/F, number close

However depending on the situation you can take it in any order you want.

Once you get good at this you'll encounter situations where:

a) you hook up with the girl the same night you met her
b) you don't even ask for her number but she brings it up and gives it to you
c) she contacts you first


----------------------------

If you follow these steps your closing ratio will sky rocket, but its goes back to the old mantra: big risk big reward!

To me I personally only see rewards in these situations because you didn't have anything to start off with.....




PIMP