Was this chick trying to bang or are people being delusional??

[Blizzard1]

I'm a grad student with a busy day-to-day class schedule, and I've recently spent a couple of long nights studying with this cute girl in my class 1 on 1 in the library. Now by "studying", I basically mean hanging out with her, teasing her, and generally being playful / mildly flirty.

Now despite the fact that this girl is attractive and has a great personality, she carries with her a very well-known reputation of being a practicing Muslim who doesn't drink or do anything sexual.... Many guy classmates have repeatedly told me not to waste time pursuing her sexually because at the end of the day, Islam strictly forbids pre-marital sex and I'd be lucky to even kiss her. In other words, she's a 23-year-old virgin.

Here comes the intriguing part of the story. Last Tuesday night at 12:30 AM I get a txt message from her asking if she can come and "check out my place". She had never seen my apartment before but for whatever reason decides that 12:30 AM on a tuesday night would be a good time (despite the fact that we had class at 9AM the next morning). I have to be honest -- everything within me wanted to make an excuse so she wouldn't come over. Why would I want to waste my time knowing she's religious and not coming over looking for sex?? Being the gentleman that I am, however, I reluctantly agree and let her inside. Once I show her around my place, I don't even bother sitting next to her on the couch, instead choosing to sit at my computer chair approx 10 feet away from her where I carry out a conversation with her.

About 10 minutes into our conversation she starts asking me whether I'm dating anyone at the moment and also tries to find out whether I've hooked up with any classmates in the past. I tell her I'm not seeing anyone (which is the honest truth) but I refrain from telling her my past record of hookups. I then turn the question on her and ask her who she's hooked up with (in an attempt to probe whether she's truly as innocent as others make her out to be) and she tells me that she's never had a boyfriend and she turned down the last guy who pursued her because, as she puts it, "I found out he was just looking for a friends-with-benefits situation and I said no." She then added that the guy "stopped contacting me immediately after he realized this." Shocker. After about a total of 1.5 hours of talking at my place she got up and left my apartment still smiling / joking etc... During this time I made NO attempts whatsoever to test her boundaries through kino. Again, I felt that doing so would have been pointless.

My non-classmate friends who I've told this story to tell me I'm a complete idiot for not recognizing the fact that this girl clearly came up to my apartment at 12:30 AM on a Tuesday to screw. They argue that all the religion / conviction in the world doesn't mean **** if a girl is knocking on your door that late to "come check out your place." In other words, they're trying to convince me that I sabotaged this opportunity to bang this girl because I was caught up in all these concerns about her religious beliefs, etc. which she may have easily been willing to sacrifice if I made a move / sexually escalated the situation.

I'm arguing that this girl is probably interested in dating, yes, but was probably too socially unaware to realize the implication that coming over a guy's place at 12:30 AM suggests you're looking to get it in, and therefore could have simply been looking to talk / flirt / hang-out without getting sexual.

What do you think?? Did I just completely F-up this perfect opportunity or are my friends just being delusional??

 

[jafyk]

I was in a similar situation with a religious girl who was a virgin and came over to my place at the time of the night to see my place as well. I went by the popular opinion that if a girl comes over that late she's looking for wanting. I made a move on her and she rejected my advances and then asked to go home. She went home and I never heard from her. I tried to contact her some days later. She didn't return my call and that's how things ended between us.

So, my conclusion from the matter is that 1) The people with the popular opinions about a girl coming over late aren't necessarily wrong (2) there will always be a few girls who are an exception to the rule (3) Maybe I went at a faster pace than she was ready for (perhaps she came to F but got scared since it was her first time and changed her mind)(4) Perhaps when dealing with virgins one ought to go at a slower pace and not expect anything to happen on the first night. Perhaps if this was with a girl who was a non-virgin I would've scored. This is not to say that there may not be the rare virgin who just came there for that sole purpose (5) I think the most important thing I got from the situation is that if you never try you never know. I have no regrets because I made my move. If a girl doesn't give me a 2nd chance because I was bold enough to make a move then she'd probably not be worth my while in the long run.

So, in summary you and your friends are both right. You, because making your move would've given you your answers. Them, because it was an opportunity (we can't know if it was perfect of not) that you didn't explore. There's my verdict...Oh, I'ill let judge Nismo pound the gavel, lol. If he's still here in sosuave.

 

[Maximummax]

I think you didn't failed, she might came over to test you. if you made a move at this point she might have said no and left your place.
you will get to know more about this chick actions in few days. next time for sure you take the step to kiss her.

 

[demezel]

first of all this is not the 1900s anymore when girls were extremely afraid to do sh!T, so you really should have overlooked the religion deal...

what i mean is you were not really thinking this through because if she was really that religious, she wouldnt have showed up at a MAN's place in the middle of the night... but because she has never being with a dude before the only thing she couldve done to get you attention was asking you the questions she did which i dont understand how you did not see trough them....did you blow a chance of possibly getting laid? yes absolutely, she took the balls to overlook her "religion" for a night and step out of her comfort zone ...

again she is not 2 years old so there is no way she doesnt know that going to a guy's place at 12:30 am is not the time to "talk". but you still can get it in, that is if she doesnt go back into her comfort zone and shut down completely....

 

[SgtSplacker]

Girls don't really do things like guys do. If I went to a ladies house at that hour it's with one thing on my mind of course. But women think differently, maybe she just thinks doing things late at night is cool or something. Maybe shes just testing the waters after her friends told her that you would try to bang her after visiting you so late. Who knows what's in her mind?

I would have definitely been sexual with this girl. You don't want her thinking the wrong thing here. But I would have relayed a finite amount of sexuality. I would have pitched her, then chilled and let her leave. Maybe tried to kiss her depending on how that went I would have escalated.

One thing for sure is you HAVE to be sexual around a girl like this because you dont want some lame ass GF that thinks it's cool not to bang.

 

[loveshogun]

Why would I want to waste my time knowing she's religious and not coming over looking for sex??

Because you're a troll, and you've got too much time on your hands.

Seriously. 3 posts? A freakin' essay about how this girl is not worth the trouble, and then all these questions that all lead to... what, exactly?

Even if this were a serious inquiry, how can answering these questions about a woman who isn't interested in anything be helpful?

Grad student, right. What are you trying to do, slick? Build rapport to isolate us and pick us up?

On the off-chance you're not a troll, tone down the lingo and work on becoming an interesting person. PhD is a good start. Instead of asking questions, do some research.

 

[Blizzard1]

Even if this were a serious inquiry, how can answering these questions about a woman who isn't interested in anything be helpful?

How? Because others have experienced similar situations. You obviously missed that point.

Instead of asking questions, do some research.

Nah, I think I'll ask some questions. Thanks though.