Was this bs?

[DJinTraining06]

Hey about a match girl i posted about a few days ago. This was a girl i went out with twice had a good time, she said she wanted to go my place on the 2nd date, we made out on the couch for 2 hrs, she kissed me 6 times on the way out the door. Ok so after that date she was cold to me. I called and she was cold, i asked her out she almost seemed like she was doin me a favor by coming.

So i asked her Sunday, what was the matter. Was it me? i told her if she wasnt interested to let me know since she was lke cold as ice sunday. She tells me that she recently had a very very bad experience so thats like her defense mechanism and shes afraid to let someone in and doesnt wanna lead me on. She agreed she was acting weird. She said it has nothign to do with bein interested or not interested, and she would still like to talk and hang out but has to take things extra extra extra slow cuz shes not ready for a relationship right now. Then she had to run to do laundry so i never got to ask her my other 2 questions.

My other two questions being: 1. If your not looking for a reationship why are u on match.com. And 2. why did u act super flrity and happy on our 1st two dates, invite urself to my house on the 2nd date and make out with me for 2 hrs if u need to take things extra extra slow?

Is this girl just feeding me bs cuz really aint that interested? I noticed also she was active on match yesterday. it tells u when someone is on the site. No i wasnt stalkin her i just stumbled on her in a search.

What do u think? Uninterested? Ive been very cool with this girl havent come on strong or needy at all. I havent called much, act very very cool when i do. So i dunno its weird how she suddenly went cold after making out with me.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Correction to my last post i asked her why she was cold on our 3rd date last friday. (i put sunday by mistake)

Also since sunday she has been online and not imd me 3 nights in a row. and shes on alot.

 

[GHardy]

It sounds like she is trying to fade out. She may have been into you at first, but it sounds like she's not really interested anymore.

It may be true that she recently had a bad relationship experience that makes her want to take it slow, but (1) like you said, why is she on match.com then? and (2) if a woman really really likes a guy, she will be with him, regardless of whatever situation is in her recent past.

If she liked you a lot she would IM you if she saw you online.

Maybe the makeout session just didn't do it for her. Not everyone has chemistry together.

Just go along with it and tell her that you respect her decision to take it slow and that you will wait for her to contact you. Then see if she does. If a week goes by and she hasn't gotten in touch with you, then you have your answer.

 

[DJinTraining06]

It sounds like she is trying to fade out. She may have been into you at first, but it sounds like she's not really interested anymore.

It may be true that she recently had a bad relationship experience that makes her want to take it slow, but (1) like you said, why is she on match.com then? and (2) if a woman really really likes a guy, she will be with him, regardless of whatever situation is in her recent past.

If she liked you a lot she would IM you if she saw you online.

Maybe the makeout session just didn't do it for her. Not everyone has chemistry together.

Just go along with it and tell her that you respect her decision to take it slow and that you will wait for her to contact you. Then see if she does. If a week goes by and she hasn't gotten in touch with you, then you have your answer.

I dunno i think im gonna call her tonite,she said she doenst wanna lead me on yet she seems to be quite uninterested. So i wanna find out. I gave her an opportunity to reject me easily, and she didnt take it. So i think im gonna call cuz i really dont wanna be lead on.

 

[DJinTraining06]

It sounds like she is trying to fade out. She may have been into you at first, but it sounds like she's not really interested anymore.

It may be true that she recently had a bad relationship experience that makes her want to take it slow, but (1) like you said, why is she on match.com then? and (2) if a woman really really likes a guy, she will be with him, regardless of whatever situation is in her recent past.

If she liked you a lot she would IM you if she saw you online.

Maybe the makeout session just didn't do it for her. Not everyone has chemistry together.

Just go along with it and tell her that you respect her decision to take it slow and that you will wait for her to contact you. Then see if she does. If a week goes by and she hasn't gotten in touch with you, then you have your answer.

u know what tho? she kissed me 6 times on her way out the door after the makeout session, cute little pecks to be funny. Then the next night she was out with her friends and texted me - "have a good time tonite whatver ur doin!"

So i dont understand how she could have sorued over me without seein me again or talkin again. It cant have been the makeout session if she did the pecks and the text right?

 

[GHardy]

No, it probably wasn't then, but it still sounds like she's not that into you. She's probably not taking the opportunity to reject you because it's often hard for women to flat out reject a man. Some can do it, but some are almost incapable and instead will try to reject you without really rejecting you, by doing a slow fade out.

So go ahead and call, but don't push it, or you're going to come across as needy and desperate. If she tells you the same thing again, then you just have to accept it.

The best way to know if she's interested or not is to not contact her for a while and see if she calls or IMs or e-mails you. So if your phone call tonight doesn't clear anything up, then you may want to back off for a while.

 

[flexion_]

Just sounds like low interest to me.

I'd just bump her down in priority and leave it at that - oh ya... no more discussions with her about what she wants in a relationship. She is telling you by her actions - no need to ask.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Just sounds like low interest to me.

I'd just bump her down in priority and leave it at that - oh ya... no more discussions with her about what she wants in a relationship. She is telling you by her actions - no need to ask.

Well i talked to her and she got very mad that i didnt beleive her and was accusing her on rejecting me. We had a big argument, but we made up i think. I asked her if everything was cool and she said yea. SHe still sounded pissed tho. I dunno im startin to believe her cuz she adamantly said its not me, at all. She keeps insisting and gettin mad about it, so im startin to think her words do mean soemthin. I mean why wouldnt she just say yea i wasnt feelin it. thats not mean? That wouldnt be hurtful to me? The slow fade out is alot meaner. This girl is smart i think she would realie that. Could the female brain be so warped. She told me that she never said she didnt wanna see me again or talk to me. She said she did, but just extra extra extra slow cuz of something extrmely bad that happened to her recently. She told me she was planning on fillin me in on her issues in time, but she didnt wanna scare me away cuz i seemed reserved. I also think she might till like me cuz she got upset when i said, "hey i have other options i could explore, so dnt worry bout hrutng my feelings be straight with me" She kept bringing that up as if she was upset about it.

 

[Kings_royalty]

Just sounds like low interest to me.

I'd just bump her down in priority and leave it at that - oh ya... no more discussions with her about what she wants in a relationship. She is telling you by her actions - no need to ask.

I agree 100%.

You shouldn't have been trying to figure out why she acted the way she did, what you should have done is 'adjusted' to her actions. If she started acting cold, that should have been a clue for you to move on instead of trying to investigate.

Calling her again and getting into an argument was a very bad move.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I agree 100%.

You shouldn't have been trying to figure out why she acted the way she did, what you should have done is 'adjusted' to her actions. If she started acting cold, that should have been a clue for you to move on instead of trying to investigate.

Calling her again and getting into an argument was a very bad move.

Honestly, i dont even think i would want a relationship with her with the way she is. But it pisses me off that she gets to lie and be all self righteous about it. Why cant she just admit it? What is so hard to say "hey, i think ur a great guy but i just wanted to say im not really feeling it, im sorry."

Ive had girls tell me that. It was nice. At least nicer than being stung along. Some girls have no respect for a guy's intelligence and time. In my opinion a girl saying "i need to take things extra extra extra slow" - 3 extras she used, is either them tellin u they aint interested, orrrrr
in the rare case they're tellin the truth, its just a very selfish way to be. Cuz u either like someone or u don't. Nobody ever said anything about marriage and having my children, or a serious relationship, let alone any kind of relationship at all. If u wanna take things slow, just do it, and dont get cold on purpose and then tell the guy u wanna take things slow. Thats wanting to have ur cake and eat it too. Cuz she likes me but wants to see wat else is out there. Either she likes me and she wants to see me again, or she doesnt. Wat is all this bs about not wanting to lead me on? Is she so high on herslef that she thinks id jump off a bridge if we went out and she eventually dumped me? that's insulting to me. What is so hard bout bein straightforward geez. It's so stupid. If its not un-interest which she claims, then wats the prob? Why wouldnt things continue as they were. We were already takin it slow in my opinon.

 

[squirrels]

She tells me that she recently had a very very bad experience so thats like her defense mechanism and shes afraid to let someone in and doesnt wanna lead me on. She agreed she was acting weird. She said it has nothign to do with bein interested or not interested, and she would still like to talk and hang out but has to take things extra extra extra slow cuz shes not ready for a relationship right now.

Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah.

Shoulda tagged it when you had it.

Either she's a head-case or she's not into you. Maybe a little bit of both.

So i dont understand how she could have sorued over me without seein me again or talkin again. It cant have been the makeout session if she did the pecks and the text right?

Or maybe she met another guy.

What would YOU guess the reason is?

 

[DJinTraining06]

Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah.

Shoulda tagged it when you had it.

Either she's a head-case or she's not into you. Maybe a little bit of both.



Or maybe she met another guy.

What would YOU guess the reason is?

Her demeanor seems eerily similar to when my ex gf found another guy and covered it up. I am gettin that vibe. But i dunno, how could a human be thaaaaaaaat adamant bout how honest shes being. I mean shes super super adamant about it. Could a person actually get mad at u for the fact that u r suspecting them of lying, when they actually are lying?vI dunno as a guy i just dont do this, im not sayin i never lie, but if im caught in one i do not deny it so adamanatly. Ill deny for a sec maybe, but ill basically either drop cuz i know im wrong or ill fla out admit i lied.