"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Was this a red flag...or me reacting due to my own insecurities?

harrison9876

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Long story short....met a girl online.

Cute and had an interesting profile. She also clearly stated that she does not like texting conversations.

After I matched with her and a couple brief messages went back and forth...I suggested that it would be better to get to know each other over a drink.

At that point I was expecting some version of a yes or a no...but what I got was...

Her - So you are an actor? Or?

My profile states I am an actor...but also a CEO. I basically own a successful corporation...but act as well. And...in my opinion...there is a time and place to be discussing what I do for a living...certainly NOT when deciding whether it not one wants to meet for a drink.

In LA there is a stigma that if you are an actor...then you must be an waiter or have some other low paying job...however I am very successful in both areas.

So...I responded with:

Me: yes...amongst other things. Are you asking because I reminded you of Brad Pitt?

After that...4 days went by with no response from this girl...so I unmatched her.

To me...the question was a red flag...like her trying to determine how much money i make in order to decide whether or not to meet me...or was I reading into that?

I don't tell people what I do for a living simply because I don't want to attract women who are looking for a guy to take care if them...

Is that a wrong assumption?

My feeling is that if I removed the "actor" part from my profile...I would actually get more matches...

Thoughts on the above?

TIA
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Duke

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So just put that you are a manager of some kind. Be vague about it.

My guess is she didn't really believe you were an actor and she was trying to figure that out. I'd assume her first assumption was that you were really a dish washer hoping to become an actor and she isn't looking for one of those types.

I would question your actor/ceo story as well. You have to understand that these girls have tons of options online. They can afford to be super critical. Its like a company that has an open position that 100 applicants apply for.
 

greatsnake

Master Don Juan
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There is no reason to overanalyze. It's online dating, women have a lot of options.

I would just keep the description on the site as vague as possible, that way there is more to talk about and keep the chick interested.
 

flowtheory

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Onlin dating is the worst. Approaching women in the real world will always reap better results. Plus, there’s more possibility for growth, as you get instant feedback.

I deactivated my online profiles awhile ago (tinder/bumble) and I feel so much better. There’s less room for things like this popping up in my mind which really just kills positive momentum.
 

Who Dares Win

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Go with your gut, if something concerns you, most of the times theres a reason.

If she didnt bother to write you for 4 days her interest was not that high to begin with.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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