was she testing me?

[vato]

I'll cut to the chase. So me and a friend were out last Saturday (no sarging, just taking a walk, chilling). We passed by two HB's, one of them (HB 9) was giving me this "please talk to me" look, so we approached the set. My friend number closed the HB 8. Then we parted ways. Couple minutes later my friend recieved a message from HB 8 saying that HB 9 wanted my digits. So he gave her my number.

We text each other back n forth, it was obvious that she was more than interested. Last Tuesday she wanted to meet up but I couldn't because I had other plans. I told her that we might be able to hook up tomorrow.

The day after she sent me a text asking "do you still want to hook up today", but unfortunately something important came up, so I couldn't see her. She seemed disappointed, telling me I was playing way too hard to get haha.

On Friday I called her up and set up a date for Saturday and she seemed exited. I told her we should meet during the day because later in the afternoon I was supposed to meet up some other friends. She seemed excited.

The next day she flaked sending me a text "We can't meet today, I have to help my mom." I replied "Ok." and thought to myself "her loss." Later when I met up my friends, she called and asked if I was mad and why I replied so coldly when she flaked. She said that she was with a girl friend and wanted to meet me.

I told her "I can't meet you right now, I'm with my buddies"
She replied with a stupid comment which pissed me off "don't miss the chance".
Me: Miss the chance of what?
Her: This is your last chance of meeting me
Me: Ok, If that's the way it's gonna be, then alright! I already told you yesterday that I would be busy later in the afternoon. I'm sorry, I can't meet you tonight.

This conversation happened this Saturday (one week after I met her). I really wanted.. and still do want to meet this girl, but I was busy during the week and I wanted to be a challenge. Was she testing me with the "don't miss the chance" comment? Should I contact her or wait for her to contact me? Because of her pride, I don't think she'll contact me after that comment, hmmm.. I mean she seemed really interested in the beginning and all of a sudden she drops that comment. I think her girl friend told her to say "don't miss the chance" to see how I react...

 

[Scars]

She was testing you, and you reacted too coldly and let it effect you. A better reply instead of "Ok." would had been "Okay, have fun. " or "Okay, maybe another time." You seemed too busy for her and she was testing you to see how you would react if SHE was the one that was busy, and you selfishly blew up on her.

Honestly, I would just apologize to her. I know a lot of guys here might disagree but if it were me I would just say "Hey, I'm sorry I was such an ******* the other day. It was selfish of me to get angry over something so little. You were understanding when I couldn't make it and I should have reacted more maturely, I just had something goings on and I'm sorry for taking my frustrations out on you. So let's try this again, I know you want to see this pretty face again, maybe this time you'll get lucky. "

Or something to that effect.. good luck.

 

[user43770]

I'd hit her up and act like nothing happened. Call her; don't text.

 

[jayhood]

Here is my advice on this, and i hope you apply this.

The fact that she said that you are playing too hard to get shows that this girl has knowledge about the game. Remember, this girl is hot. She got hit on numerous times and probably knows the attempt that guys do to get in her pants. According to her, it is impossible that you indeed have a LIFE or choose your life over meeting with her. She THINKS that you are like the average WIMP and try to hide it by playing hard to get. Thus, believe it or not, you acted like a REAL MAN during the first half of the scenario. What i mean is that, you were not gaming her. You indeed have put your life first!!

The fact that she asked if you were mad imply that she indeed flaked on you. She felt guilty afterward because why would by simply replying ok make her think that something must be wrong?. (Seriously think about it) Thus, she thinks that you are playing games, so by flaking on you she tries to get you back

Furthermore, you should not APOLOGIZE. seriously DO NOT DO SO. why should you? remember, if you start to apologize, she will FEEL that you did something wrong. Thus, she will think that you were playing games with her and not real. Also, what gives her the right to say " this is your last chance to meet me"??...DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!! I REPEAT, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS. if she cant accept the fact that you have a life of your own then leave her. I am not saying to act cold and become a arrogant guy. What i am saying is that in a way show her that you do not really care about her last comment.

 

[Igetit!]

The next day she flaked sending me a text "We can't meet today, I have to help my mom." I replied "Ok." and thought to myself "her loss." Later when I met up my friends, she called and asked if I was mad and why I replied so coldly when she flaked. She said that she was with a girl friend and wanted to meet me.

I agree with Scars,but to me,the "test" was when she asked you if you were mad over her flaking,and about you replying "coldly". Imo,that was more of a test than the "don't miss the chance" comment.

I told her "I can't meet you right now, I'm with my buddies"
She replied with a stupid comment which pissed me off "don't miss the chance".
Me: Miss the chance of what?
Her: This is your last chance of meeting me
Me: Ok, If that's the way it's gonna be, then alright! I already told you yesterday that I would be busy later in the afternoon. I'm sorry, I can't meet you tonight.

I do think that her saying "don't miss your chance" was a test,just not a big one. Nevertheless,guess what? You passed the test. The whole purpose of girls testing guys is to find out if you're a man or not,and obviously,you are one. You didn't bow down to her demands,you showed her that given the option of meeting with her vs. continuing to live your life with plans you had already previuosly made,you choose your life over her any day,dude,that's pure gold in my book. You demonstrated that you have a strong frame. You didn't let her drag you out of your life into hers,you let her know that if she wanted to see you,it'd be on your time and schedule. Thumbs up dude.

Should I contact her or wait for her to contact me? ...Because of her pride, I don't think she'll contact me after that comment,

In a battle of attraction vs pride,I think that attraction will win out,especially for women,knowing how much they complain about not being about to find chemistry. I think it'd be ok to call her,just keep it in a superior frame when you do it. Like call her up and tell her you're going to so and so place,and YOU WANT her to come WITH YOU....and TELL her to wear something nice... FOR YOU. If she puts up a front or act and says she can't do it,or that she's busy,then just say,"Alright,I'll talk to you later",then go another 4 or 5 days of no contact. My guess is that she'll probably contact you before that time is up,then you just pick right up being a MAN where you left off.

Doesn't matter what she says,or how much she complains,it she continues to call or show attention to you,even if it'snegative attention,she likes you.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Keep things nonchalant like nothing phases you. Girls will read way too much into a simple "ok." Just keep it cool and don't get worked up about her trying to game you. It's not inconceivable that she flaked on you just because you flaked on her.

 

[vato]

Yeah... now that I think of it, the flake was a test too to see how serious I am. I will call her today or tomorrow just like Igetit said. and I won't apologize for sh*t . thank you guys!

 

[Allurre]

haha, "last chance to meet me"

You shouldn't mess with women like this. She thinks she's too good for you already.

What you want to do is not fall into the trap of obsessing all over her. There are plenty of other girls, just as hot, with better character out there.

No, it wasn't a test. It's just a display of her character.

 

[vato]

Ok, so I met her today.. it went good, too good imo. I could have kissed her (could've, would've, should've, hahah eff me). Later during the night she sent me a text asking me: Can I ask u a question?
Me: (said something to make her laugh and..) go ahead, ask..
Her: why did u meet me today?
Wasn't sure what to say, so I said: haha what kind of question is that? what would've you answered if I asked the same question? :S
Her: I would've said cause I want you..
I was thinkin what the f...? so I replied: I don't know what to say right now, but ofcourse we will see each other again.
Her: Ok

Uhhmm.. I've just seen this girl twice (once before today) and talked to her a couple of times over the phone and she "wants me" already? I want her too but I don't want to come of as being easy just because she said that she wants me, if u know what I mean. Did I respond to her question in a good or bad way? What am I supposed to do? haha I'm confused as hell.

 

[Igetit!]

Ok, so I met her today.. it went good, too good imo. I could have kissed her (could've, would've, should've, hahah eff me). Later during the night she sent me a text asking me: Can I ask u a question?
Me: (said something to make her laugh and..) go ahead, ask..
Her: why did u meet me today?
Wasn't sure what to say, so I said: haha what kind of question is that? what would've you answered if I asked the same question? :S
Her: I would've said cause I want you..
I was thinkin what the f...? so I replied: I don't know what to say right now, but ofcourse we will see each other again.
Her: Ok


did I respond to her question in a good or bad way? haha I'm confused as hell.

Well to be honest,saying "I don't know" when faced with a decision,or a direct question is one of the absolute most WORST ways to respond to a question. I'm not saying that everything's over with,but that response wasn't a good one. You have to "out" a woman. Meaning outdo,outshine,be more/higher than her. This girl asked you a direct question,so you should have give her an even MORE DIRECT answer.
If I didn't know better,it seemed to me as if she had you backed intoa corner or something,and you didn't know how to respond.

I realize that you didn't want to say anything stupid,or anything that would make her attraction for you take a hit,but giving an indecisive answer to a direct question just makes you look wishy-washy with no backbone. It's like you're too scared to decide on your own of fear of offending her,so you gave a "no answer" answer to play it safe. You can't do that man. Women are emotional. You don't even have to say anything wrong,just the fear,nervousness,or anxiety she senses from your tone of voice,bodylanguage,or hesitation in your talking will be enough to turn her off,nevermind the actual words you say. I know this was a text message,but just the phrase "I don't know",especially when you really do know,wasn't a good thing for her to read. You'd been better off going logical on her than indecisive.

Looks to me like this was another "test" from her. I think you already know not to get emotional in response to the tests women give,so I'd have went logical on her. If she had asked me that,I would have been like,"What do you mean why did I meet you today? We had plans to see each other today,so WE saw each other. What,do you have a problem with that or something?".

Don't let her back you into a corner dude. You're a man,so be superior to her.
If she's direct,you be more direct. If she's talkative,you be more talkative. If she's strong,you be stronger. If she's aggresive,you be more agressive.

You have to "out" her. If she feels that you're inferior,it's game over dude. She'll go from feeling like a woman in the presense of a man,to feeling like a mother in the presense of her child....and you DON'T WANT THAT.

Good luck man.

 

[Pathgen]

Ok, so I met her today.. it went good, too good imo. I could have kissed her (could've, would've, should've, hahah eff me). Later during the night she sent me a text asking me: Can I ask u a question?
Me: (said something to make her laugh and..) go ahead, ask..
Her: why did u meet me today?
Wasn't sure what to say, so I said: haha what kind of question is that? what would've you answered if I asked the same question? :S
Her: I would've said cause I want you..
I was thinkin what the f...? so I replied: I don't know what to say right now, but ofcourse we will see each other again.
Her: Ok


did I respond to her question in a good or bad way? haha I'm confused as hell.

Have not been here in a while.

Anyhow, when i was much more shy around women i had a date with a girl and i took her to the movies. It was my first date and i was nervous as hell. So i didn't make any moves on her at all. Later she texted me asking why i went out with her (i assume because she expected me to make more moves and act differently than i did). I think i said

"something about you interested me and i wanted to check it out for myself. I had fun didnt you"

She responded saying how she wished i had kissed her when i took her up to her house instead of hugging her. I was still pretty scared of making a move even after she said that, but i had realized one thing. SHE IS THINKING ABOUT ME KISSING HER. Maybe even having a midnight fantasy who knows?

My point is this girl is saying "I would've said cause I want you.."

Dude she wants you, she may even be having some pretty nice impure thoughts about you. It took me 3 more meetings with my girl and a hot pillow fight before i kissed her. Your doing fine, just a word of advice go give her what she wants ;-D

 

[jayhood]

You are seriously mistaken if you think she WANTS YOU when she answered your own question. The truth is, she is not saying that she want you. What she is saying is that she THINKS you want her. I have a feeling that she expected that you would not have given her a straight answer. Remember when she said "you are playing too hard to get" also remember when she said " this is your last chance to see me?" Trust me, this girls has a knowledge about the game. And I guarantee you there will be more test to come.

Also, I agree with how the poster igetit answer the question. You should not have ask her to answer her own question. Remember, there is more than one answer to a question. For instance , the OBVIOUS answer to her question was to say " because I want you" which she answered. The other answer which is not the obvious one but also true in itself is " because we had plan" .