Was she really special?

[big weezy]

I have been out with 100s of girls in my 15 years of pick up and only a couple times have I met a girl and thought ''wow she's special I could marry this girl..'' Going out with so many girls you identify that ''special'' factor more easily but is it just a figment of my imagination?

I believe every guy has an ultimate ''type'', that girl which if you could decide right now envisage what your wife would look like would be. Couple that the personality traits you look for, wittiness, humor, etc

I believe in the ''one'' much like women do, but I believe there are several ''ones'' for each person, however I also believe even the ''one'' for them can mess up and screw up anything for the future by acting AFC. Does this just mean at the time the AFC wasn't ready to deal with a ''special'' girl?

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Does this just mean at the time the AFC wasn't ready to deal with a ''special'' girl?

Nah. I think it just means that AFC's are generally poorer judges of what is a quality woman and what is not. The romanticized perspective of sex, love, and relationships makes the AFC much more likely to basically fabricate the It Factor.

I look at it like this. There's some REALLY gorgeous porn actresses out there. Chicks that you wouldn't know what they do for a living if you saw them at the supermarket. So plenty of AFC's would pine for this chick if they saw her a few times in public (so long as they didn't recognize her), and may fantasize about taking her out to dinner, bringing her flowers, cuddling and watching movies at night, etc. They may think she has the It Factor based on her looks, and how she carries herself and the like. But in reality, just a few hours prior she was getting DP'd by two fat hairy white dudes while she's getting three consecutive facials from the three impossibly large black cocks that she's been getting facefucked by for the last 20 minutes as her makeup streams down her face from the tears. So while it may appear on the surface to the AFC that this is a "special girl", she is actually just another whore making the classic exchange of money for sex.

 

[big weezy]

But what if the ''special'' girl is not based on just looks?

I usually judge girls by looks and behaviour and interests. That special ''wow'' factor has only happened to me twice in my life, once 5 years ago when I was a complete AFC and earlier in 2008, neither of which I managed to secure as my girl as my game isn't complete enough. I've been out with so many women, laid quite a few times and ''thought'' my game was coming on but I was not ready for these ''special'' girls. I made the mistake of not spinning other plates as I felt I already met the best one I did not need to look at others. Big mistake.

Is the ''one'' just a fabricated concept by women? is it our job to convey that we are the ''one'' to them through manipulation of their feelings?

No Contact when done right I have heard can cause vast anxiety in women where they feel they are in love with you and maybe their ''one''. That seems crazy and changing my view about the ''one''. I used to be such a romantic but this site has made me see that everything is such a process. I am little sad by that actually.

 

[seano99]

I used to be such a romantic but this site has made me see that everything is such a process. I am little sad by that actually.

snap! i hear everything you're saying, especially the above quote.

i agree with you where you said that your game wasn't up to par, so you couldnt secure your 'one' at the time. they are few and far between.

if you dont care what the girl thinks, you ARE more attractive to her. that's why girls who are just below your 'requirements' (you dont want to date them) are attracted to you. you honestly dont care what she thinks and you're probably more relaxed and being yourself.. you dont even tidy your house before she comes around. you dont message her as much, or you take slower to reply. she has to work for you etc etc.

i can tell when i'm keen on a girl because if she's coming over i tidy my house, change my sheets, etc. if im seeing her i always scrub up to look my best (i look pretty good anyway). but really i should treat her like every other girl that doesn't make the cut, and i'd get a better response from the one i like. it's insane.

in a nutshell, it's all about making them think you're the best they can get. and keeping them insecure. the legitimate attitude of "i'm the fscking best you wont get better" is attractive.

 

[big weezy]

The thing is that I have set a limit where if a girl isn't a certain attractiveness level I won't even bother talking to her. I feel I am at a stage where I can get hot girls, I just need to filter out the ones who are relationship potential which most are not as they're rather spoilt and full of it which is understandable given that they've had their a$$ kissed by guys since they were young.

So finding quality good natured down to earth attractive females is hard to find, couple that with the fact that majority of them have more male friends than female friends makes me assume that ALL attractive females are attention wh0res not just to some degree but attention wh0ring more than what would consider above average.

My response? To do the exact same thing and attention wh0re myself to attractive females who are not my type or not attracted to me and friendzone them for social proof. However this takes up a lot of time..... (the coffee meet ups etc etc) And I need to find a more efficient way of having them as social proof in a pick up environment.

Anyway I digress, the problem is with the ''special'' ones it usually seems they start off with high interest in me, the 2 special ''ones'' I've met in my life showed equal interest in me at first but I got more and more nervous while out dating them as I knew I really liked them and at the time could not do anything but think about them. Sometimes they come round at the worst times in my life i.e. lack of options. That isn't to say they weren't ''special'' due to the fact I had a lack of options, just I happened to be in a rut at the time and was unfortunate to meet them during those pick up phases in my life.

How does one prepare for meeting their ''one'' so to speak?

Like I say I've dated 100s of girls, made out, got laid, you name it, had relationships with some but I always seem to fail with the ''special'' ones.

 

[tafakna]

I believe every guy has an ultimate ''type'', that girl which if you could decide right now envisage what your wife would look like would be. Couple that the personality traits you look for, wittiness, humor, etc

Right on.

There's plenty of historical evidence (Plato, Aristotle, Hipocrates, Jung, Briggs, American Indians) dating as much as 2500 years ago, that classified "types" (btw Plato used exactly this word) also in 4 different categories.

Neuroscientists now know, that these types have a lot to do with the predominant neurotransmitter/hormone on your brain (serotonin, dopamine, testosterone and estrogen).

It's all very interesting stuff.

 

[big weezy]

My problem is that I always seem to fail with the ''special'' ones. They always had equal interest in me at the start and as we went out I'd get more nervous as I knew I really liked them. It's also unfortunate that they came into my life during a bad pick up phase where I was in a rut with no options, that isn't to say that they weren't ''special'' I was just unlucky I had no options or plates at the time. This is probably what led to my downfall. How does one prepare for meeting their ''one'' under these circumstances?

I wasn't ready five years ago, and I thought I was ready last year after 5 years or intensive pick up and dating, but I wasn't. I fell into old habits and it wasn't easy for me to just walk away as for 1 I had no other options, and 2 I knew I couldn't just walk away and forget her as I knew she was ''special''. I just knew.

These 2 girls looked so similar to each other facially. They had the exact features I would envisage what my wife would look like, hell they weren't the most stunning beautiful women out there if I want to look at it objectively, but to me they were the most beautiful women for what I liked. I felt I would never be tempted away by another girl unless of course she was a prettier version of this look. I hope I find another one sometime soon. It feels quite empty and hollow picking up after meeting and failing with a special ''one'' and the answers of ''just find new girls'' or ''she wasn't special she was just another girl'' and ''she wasn't as interested in you as you were in her, she's not worth it'' don't really help because YOU know deep down that she was special.

 

[underoath777]

My problem is that I always seem to fail with the ''special'' ones. They always had equal interest in me at the start and as we went out I'd get more nervous as I knew I really liked them. It's also unfortunate that they came into my life during a bad pick up phase where I was in a rut with no options, that isn't to say that they weren't ''special'' I was just unlucky I had no options or plates at the time. This is probably what led to my downfall. How does one prepare for meeting their ''one'' under these circumstances?

I wasn't ready five years ago, and I thought I was ready last year after 5 years or intensive pick up and dating, but I wasn't. I fell into old habits and it wasn't easy for me to just walk away as for 1 I had no other options, and 2 I knew I couldn't just walk away and forget her as I knew she was ''special''. I just knew.

These 2 girls looked so similar to each other facially. They had the exact features I would envisage what my wife would look like, hell they weren't the most stunning beautiful women out there if I want to look at it objectively, but to me they were the most beautiful women for what I liked. I felt I would never be tempted away by another girl unless of course she was a prettier version of this look. I hope I find another one sometime soon. It feels quite empty and hollow picking up after meeting and failing with a special ''one'' and the answers of ''just find new girls'' or ''she wasn't special she was just another girl'' and ''she wasn't as interested in you as you were in her, she's not worth it'' don't really help because YOU know deep down that she was special.

Dude I thought I was the only one like this!

My type is short, petite, with an angled face, witty, very funny, and ambitious. Dude those girls are soo hard to come by. I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen about 3 years ago, and omg I had NO game. I pretended I was into the same stuff as her to try to appeal to her. Looking back, it was horrible!

But I understand what you're saying, as I only want my "type" of girl, which is why I don't rate girls 1-10. My system is 1-4.

1 - You are ugly. I'll talk to you if I work with you, or if you're friendly to me.
2 - You're "attractive" but we're definately just going to stay friends because you're not honestly that attractive.
3 - Ok, you're damn cute, I'll date you, but I kinda want more.
4 - OMFG let's get married! I know I'm young but fvck it! I'll never look at another girl again!


Haha, so as you can imagine, I meet way more 3's than 4's. I'm currently talking to a 4, and sh!t has sloweddd considerably, so today is day 2 of no contact.

I seriously might cry if this works as well as you explained! Initially she acted and talked like we were meant for each other, so maybe this tactic will bring this out again.

And it sucks we have to resort to **** like this, but what seano said is true.
If we don't care about the girls, we'll be more attractive to them.

I guess what we have to do is find the girls we REALLY want, (my 4s) and actively date other girls at the same time (hopefully other 4s!)

It is weird how this works though. I met a girl at a restaurant a few weeks ago who is a 10. I mean this girl is gorgeous by ANYONE's standards. But i'd rather have "my" type, even when my friends are like "you like her, really?"

To each his own, I guess.

Let's work on improving our game to be ready when we meet those other "ones"

On the positive, look at it this way. If it doesn't work out with this girl, we know there are others in this category, so it's not really the "one" who got away....more like "one of the one's" lol

 

[big weezy]

Dude I thought I was the only one like this!

My type is short, petite, with an angled face, witty, very funny, and ambitious. Dude those girls are soo hard to come by. I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen about 3 years ago, and omg I had NO game. I pretended I was into the same stuff as her to try to appeal to her. Looking back, it was horrible!

But I understand what you're saying, as I only want my "type" of girl, which is why I don't rate girls 1-10. My system is 1-4.

1 - You are ugly. I'll talk to you if I work with you, or if you're friendly to me.
2 - You're "attractive" but we're definately just going to stay friends because you're not honestly that attractive.
3 - Ok, you're damn cute, I'll date you, but I kinda want more.
4 - OMFG let's get married! I know I'm young but fvck it! I'll never look at another girl again!


Haha, so as you can imagine, I meet way more 3's than 4's. I'm currently talking to a 4, and sh!t has sloweddd considerably, so today is day 2 of no contact.

I seriously might cry if this works as well as you explained! Initially she acted and talked like we were meant for each other, so maybe this tactic will bring this out again.

And it sucks we have to resort to **** like this, but what seano said is true.
If we don't care about the girls, we'll be more attractive to them.

I guess what we have to do is find the girls we REALLY want, (my 4s) and actively date other girls at the same time (hopefully other 4s!)

It is weird how this works though. I met a girl at a restaurant a few weeks ago who is a 10. I mean this girl is gorgeous by ANYONE's standards. But i'd rather have "my" type, even when my friends are like "you like her, really?"

To each his own, I guess.

Let's work on improving our game to be ready when we meet those other "ones"

On the positive, look at it this way. If it doesn't work out with this girl, we know there are others in this category, so it's not really the "one" who got away....more like "one of the one's" lol

I think maybe you're overstating what I mean, it sounds like you have many ''4's'' as you put it, what I'm referring to are girls who are ''5's'' under your category system, they only come around once every few years and you'll probably only meet like 5 in your life. These are girls who you just know, when you meet them once or twice you could marry. It's just you just know. It may not even work out between you 2 i.e. 1 party may cheat, you may have irreconcilable differences etc.

 

[seano99]

Dude I thought I was the only one like this!

i'm like this too man, awesome.

But I understand what you're saying, as I only want my "type" of girl, which is why I don't rate girls 1-10. My system is 1-4.

1 - You are ugly. I'll talk to you if I work with you, or if you're friendly to me.
2 - You're "attractive" but we're definately just going to stay friends because you're not honestly that attractive.
3 - Ok, you're damn cute, I'll date you, but I kinda want more.
4 - OMFG let's get married! I know I'm young but fvck it! I'll never look at another girl again!

cool scale man...

And it sucks we have to resort to **** like this, but what seano said is true.
If we don't care about the girls, we'll be more attractive to them.

cheers

I guess what we have to do is find the girls we REALLY want, (my 4s) and actively date other girls at the same time (hopefully other 4s!)

definitely. but the thing with 4's is that since they are so rare, you will be unlikely to have 2x 4's at once, when they come along every few years in reality. and when you're with a 4, you wont want to waste time hanging with 3's... hence the potential of blowing up your game.

It is weird how this works though. I met a girl at a restaurant a few weeks ago who is a 10. I mean this girl is gorgeous by ANYONE's standards. But i'd rather have "my" type, even when my friends are like "you like her, really?"

To each his own, I guess.

i'm like that too man. screw the 10, i want the 4.

Let's work on improving our game to be ready when we meet those other "ones"

On the positive, look at it this way. If it doesn't work out with this girl, we know there are others in this category, so it's not really the "one" who got away....more like "one of the one's" lol

i'll drink to that. and EXACTLY. there is not ONE, but many ONE's

 

[underoath777]

I think maybe you're overstating what I mean, it sounds like you have many ''4's'' as you put it, what I'm referring to are girls who are ''5's'' under your category system, they only come around once every few years and you'll probably only meet like 5 in your life. These are girls who you just know, when you meet them once or twice you could marry. It's just you just know. It may not even work out between you 2 i.e. 1 party may cheat, you may have irreconcilable differences etc.

I see what you mean. When I look at it this way, one of the 4s could've been a 5, but thats because I had NO game, and she wasn't interested, so she was more unattainable.

However, I've only met 3 4s! And the funny thing is one girl was just average by most standards but somehow the other attributes skewed her into the "wow let me drop everything I'm doing to be in your presence" category. lol

So I hope this no contact thing works on this 4, because its soooo hard to find them, then I gotta meet em, and then I gotta game me....ugh, the process!

 

[seano99]

My problem is that I always seem to fail with the ''special'' ones. They always had equal interest in me at the start and as we went out I'd get more nervous as I knew I really liked them. It's also unfortunate that they came into my life during a bad pick up phase where I was in a rut with no options, that isn't to say that they weren't ''special'' I was just unlucky I had no options or plates at the time. This is probably what led to my downfall. How does one prepare for meeting their ''one'' under these circumstances?

I wasn't ready five years ago, and I thought I was ready last year after 5 years or intensive pick up and dating, but I wasn't. I fell into old habits and it wasn't easy for me to just walk away as for 1 I had no other options, and 2 I knew I couldn't just walk away and forget her as I knew she was ''special''. I just knew.

These 2 girls looked so similar to each other facially. They had the exact features I would envisage what my wife would look like, hell they weren't the most stunning beautiful women out there if I want to look at it objectively, but to me they were the most beautiful women for what I liked. I felt I would never be tempted away by another girl unless of course she was a prettier version of this look. I hope I find another one sometime soon. It feels quite empty and hollow picking up after meeting and failing with a special ''one'' and the answers of ''just find new girls'' or ''she wasn't special she was just another girl'' and ''she wasn't as interested in you as you were in her, she's not worth it'' don't really help because YOU know deep down that she was special.

dude i could have written that word for word, even down to the 5 years thing. but the thing is, we fail because we (even unknowingly) exuded desperation or neediness. attraction starts equal, but we blow our games up by being too invested too soon. appropriate time frames will vary from girl to girl. but ultimately, you want the girl to be more interested in you than you are in her. how you make that happen is up to you. reading sosuave and making .txt files of every relevant post is what i'm doing, then when the time comes, i will read all of them, i have about 20 of them now.

How does one prepare for meeting their ''one'' under these circumstances?

stay fit, healthy, positive, work on yourself, always improving yourself, read sosuave from time to time, then when the time comes, read those .txt files...

 

[Ease]

if you dont care what the girl thinks, you ARE more attractive to her. that's why girls who are just below your 'requirements' (you dont want to date them) are attracted to you. you honestly dont care what she thinks and you're probably more relaxed and being yourself.. you dont even tidy your house before she comes around. you dont message her as much, or you take slower to reply. she has to work for you etc etc.

i can tell when i'm keen on a girl because if she's coming over i tidy my house, change my sheets, etc. if im seeing her i always scrub up to look my best (i look pretty good anyway). but really i should treat her like every other girl that doesn't make the cut, and i'd get a better response from the one i like. it's insane.

in a nutshell, it's all about making them think you're the best they can get. and keeping them insecure. the legitimate attitude of "i'm the fscking best you wont get better" is attractive.

haha gold.

especially your summary