"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Was she never interested?

pete101

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In separate topic from my other thread, over the weekend I picked up a young girl (18) in the supermarket Saturday evening. She's only 4 years younger than me but I could tell she was a little bit apprehensive giving her number out to a complete stranger (She's only just finished high school). It went really well, had her laughing, generally did amazing in my opinion, made her qualify herself to me by saying she was too young for me etc. generally speaking it went very very well.

I went for the phone number and she wasn't comfortable giving it so she offered her blackberry messenger instead and added me. So far so good I thought.

I leave it till today to contact her and I wrote 'hey there my little cutie :) hope you had a good weekend and didnt' get up to too much trouble around your end. ;) haha x'

she replied with: yeah had a good weekend and didn't get up to too much trouble! ;) haha. hope you had a good weekend too. x'

seemed so far so good.

then i sent: 'haha yeah i guess there's only so much trouble you can get up to around (the area next to her area) with all the tress and stuff. you look cute in your pic. x'

followed immediately by *trees and (your area not the area next to your area) - i just corrected my mistake.

Bear in mind it's like an instant messenger convo not a text.

Was the 2nd message i sent too sleazy?

She deleted me as a contact after that. I guess the problem with blackberry messenger is that it's risk free for girls, they can just delete you as a contact and it's over, no number given out nothing. I understand she was wary giving a number out in a cold approach since she was young. but her first response looked promising so I was surprised she deleted me, I guess she changed her mind or was creeped out.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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crazyboy

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With girl of her age you better up straight asking her to go out with you somewhere.
 

pete101

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crazyboy said:
With girl of her age you better up straight asking her to go out with you somewhere.
She couldn't, she was about to meet her parents for dinner.

It turns out we were from similar areas in town though I live elsewhere and we used to take the same train line so i made jokes about how long it takes to get into town etc. i mentioned that us meeting up i'd choose somewhere at (specific location on the train line) and she agreed. the only error i made was asking if she had brothers/sisters.. she said she had an older brother.. i said 'is he overprotective of you?' she said 'yeah' i said.. ohh u better keep me a secret from him then' she didn't react well to that. that's the only thing i can think of from her reaction that would indicate her being a little creeped out but everything else was perfect so i was very surprised.

Was my 2nd line really that bad? maybe it was the fact i wrote another line to correct my spelling error, may have looked like i wrote the line then when she didn't reply corrected the spelling error.

maybe i could have gone down a different route and simply just asked what she did?
 

crazyboy

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She didn't have to go right then and there just pick a date and time when you text her. Yes you probably scared her away with your text. She probably wasn't really interested. Because if she thought you were cute you would have got her number. Not that blackberry messegner crap. I have never heard that in my life to be for real. The older brother thing all you have to say thats cool you got someone that always got your back. The line irrelavant if she like you, you could ask her to send pic to your phone and she most likely would. But all in all you just struck out. Its a number game not every woman in the world going to like you. Just go after another one.
 

pete101

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crazyboy said:
She didn't have to go right then and there just pick a date and time when you text her. Yes you probably scared her away with your text. She probably wasn't really interested. Because if she thought you were cute you would have got her number. Not that blackberry messegner crap. I have never heard that in my life to be for real. The older brother thing all you have to say thats cool you got someone that always got your back. The line irrelavant if she like you, you could ask her to send pic to your phone and she most likely would. But all in all you just struck out. Its a number game not every woman in the world going to like you. Just go after another one.
yeah i dont think she was physically attracted to me but i did make her feel attraction if only temporarily. but is it understandable she didn't want to give her number out cos it's a cold approach in the supermarket and im a complete stranger?

it just seems like her not wanting to give a number out is understandable for a complete cold approach and the blackberry messenger thing is risk free option for that.

I really dont know why she'd be creeped out by my 2nd message.. reading it back it seems ok, maybe a bit too complimentary supplicating but nothing creepy about it. I was worried that because shes younger than me that 'older pervert guy' thing would cross her mind.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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