"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Was I too bold here?

The Comeback Kid

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I summed this story up in reply to another recent post on this forum, but I did something today, and I was curious if it was too bold of my to try it.

Before the story, let me just provide you some background on an attitude cahnge I've experienced over the past month. Before, I was an "assertive guy", but leaned a bit in the "nice guy" direction (not desperate or anything though). But once November hit, I've become more confident in myself, I realized I'm not intimidated by any girl, and I seem to neg-hit somewhat often, but not over the top. Also, I flirt a bit more and am improving my kino. The catch is that I have a feeling I am getting a little ****y at times too. I use C=F a lot, but as you'll read below, the "C" may be just a little bigger than the "F".

This whole episode started last night. I told her in school I was going to IM her something (it's one of thoe things where u see a peaceful scene and then a monster pops up and scares the sh*t ouuta u). So, like I said, I saw her online, IMed her, and no response. So I IM again - noada. A minute later, she puts heraway message on (she had practice"). Now this girl is a nice person, but I was real surprised she would not see the IMs if they were online. Hmm...

So we get to today. After my practice, I headed to the trainer's room w/ a couple friends (we were all sore and one of them was rehabbing from injury). Anyway, as I'm sitting there (I already saw the trainer lol), guess who walks in? Yep, the girl, along with two of her teammates (FYI, we play different sports). One of her guy friends was there (she said they're friends too) and I talked to her too for a little. Then, in the one moment where only the girl and her guy friend (who I get along with too and is a good guy) could hear me, I come up with my ****y line...

Very jokingly, I say "haha, looked like u were the IM-avoiding bandit last night. I sent u a couple IM's and then u just logged off lol." Apparently, I don't think she even saw my IM's (was probably away from the computer becuse it seemed she had absolutely no clue what I was talking about). Meanwhile, her guy friend (big, strong, "one of the more popular" guy who gets the girls as well) started laughing at my joke and was praising me too "YOU ARE THE MAN!!" He wasn't being sarcastic either. Go figure.

Anyway, if I saw the girl online tonight (we got a long weekend where I won't see her anyway), should I IM her and say something like "hey, u know I was just joking ealier at school, right?" or something like that so I don't come off looking like an a$$?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Damian

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Nah, if the other guy gave that kind of reaction, I'll bet she's super-curious. Don't try to back off of that statement, but build on it and make her think more and more of you. Just follow the usual DJ tactics and you'll be fine.

-Damian
 

DaKidS3

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I come up with my ****y line...

Very jokingly, I say "haha, looked like u were the IM-avoiding bandit last night. I sent u a couple IM's and then u just logged off lol."
Am I the only one who doesn't see this as ****y, but as desperate?
 

wavejams007

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The comment was a little corny, but keep at it, and maybe someting will come of it.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Originally posted by wavejams007
The comment was a little corny, but keep at it, and maybe someting will come of it.
oh yeah, I know it was a bit corny lol. I just wanted to use the word bandit in there somewhere (word just popped into my head). :D
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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wavejams007

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whatever floats your boat.:rolleyes: :)
 

The Comeback Kid

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Originally posted by wavejams007
whatever floats your boat.:rolleyes: :)
lol. Don't worry - it's probably the first time I've said that in my life. I just know the word sounds cool and will be noticed in a conversation lol. I was actually searching for the word when I said it.

I don't think that part is a really big deal though... it's more if it I came off sounding too ****y (like an a$$) or if it was fine.

P.S. DaKids3, I'm not being desperate - if u heard some of the other neg hits I've done to her, ud see what I mean. But again, I do not feel I am desperate at all...it's not a need for me.
 

unnamed04

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Again; How was your comment at all ****y.. Maybe there was a touch of funny in there...

You were showing her that her not replying to your IM affected you... That's not ****iness.. Thats depseration...
 

sinner

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Originally posted by DaKidS3
Am I the only one who doesn't see this as ****y, but as desperate?
Yeah... it sounded very desperate and insecure. Are you sure the other guy was not being sarcastic ?
 

Taviii

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If you didnt say anything at all you would have been in a better position!


:down:


Anyways, dont think to much about what you said, because you cant change it!

And dont ever excuse yourself about what you said, doesnt matter if its to corny or desperate like that one.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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The Comeback Kid

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So I see this wasn't a good idea...

FYI though, I was just trying to make a witty wisecrack at something. It really didn't affect me (the IM) but maybe what I said made it look that way. It was hte only thing I could think of at that moment (bandit...hahaha - I just like the word for some reason). Usually I seem to be OK when it comes to being witty, but I guess this tieme I was off.

I've neg-hit on her before and have used kino, so maybe that will take away from what you viewed as a "desperate" quote.
 
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