Was I being Chivalrous or AFC? Maybe a **** test?

[donjuanapprentice01]

So, I just came back from the bank and ran into the bank teller I'm attracted to (the one in the relationship, but I don't care I'm running game) So, we're talking, I'm making her smile and all that ****... then she says "Jeez.. this line will never end, I need to hit the bathroom" alright, so I said "well, I'll wait here and you quickly go" which she declined..

It was just pure instinct "nice guy" on my part to offer this. But I'm not sure if I ****ed this up bad and turned into an AFC at this point.

 

[Interceptor]

It wasnt chivalrous, I believe. Because there wasnt enough intimacy and trust to have been chivalrous to her in that specific manner. That would be for one's GF, not a stranger.
Second, it wasnt a sh*t test per se, but she does not appear to have a sort of view of you as a potential lover or interest. What I get is she would say that to just some guy she kind of knows. Not someone she cares for. So it was kind of her showing you, I believe, how she views you. Kind of a friendly equal. Not a man she really wants to get to know or be with.
Third, the idea of 'waiting' for her to get done with her personal business in the bathroom is not proper. She doesnt know you , and you presented her a situation that says "Im acting like your boyfriend" in the undertone, and it was completely inappropriate.
So the inappropriateness of the bathroom deal and you offering your intimacy and resources to a stranger killed it. She wasnt going to have a stranger know she takes a long hard dump that takes 30.5 minutes or whatever. Do you see that?

So , no, this was miscalibrated as you were offering her your resources at a level of the 'relationship' that was not correct.
So the miscalibration was placing too much importance on her and the interaction. Offering up of your personal resources when SHE instinctively knows that you are both not connected in that way. And after her 'friendly dude' speak to you, you still offered to be more intimate with her than she was giving to you.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

Interesting thoughts Interceptor, I see where you are coming from... unfortunately in the heat of the moment, I didn't think about in that way. However, I wouldn't say we are "strangers" per say. I've known her now for about 6 months, and talk to her on a regular basis. Also, we have begun exchanging e-mails here and there. We are both into Alt Rock pretty hardcore (our favorite bands are the same) so we have things in common. I don't view her as a friend though, because we haven't hung out or anything (which I don't want to do btw because I don't want to fall into that "friends" category)

But you bring up a very interesting angle on the whole thing.

Guess I did **** it up... damn.

 

[Conquer]

Afc

 

[scrouds]

"I thought pretty girls didn't need to use the bathroom."

 

[Igetit!]

However, I wouldn't say we are "strangers" per say. I've known her now for about 6 months, and talk to her on a regular basis.

SIX MONTHS??? You've known her for 6 months? That's worse. You'd be better off if she were a complete stranger. That means she already has some sense of who you are.

It doesn't take a woman six months to decide whether or not she's attracted to you. In fact,women know within the first 5 to 10 minutes.

I'm afraid you've become the latest victim of the friendzone.

Also, we have begun exchanging e-mails here and there. We are both into Alt Rock pretty hardcore (our favorite bands are the same) so we have things in common. I don't view her as a friend though, because we haven't hung out or anything (which I don't want to do btw because I don't want to fall into that "friends" category).

You don't want to fall into that "friends" catergory? Dude,you're already there. You don't understand...there's NO PAUSE BUTTON on attraction. There's no neutral. If you're repeatedly in her presence while NOT SHOWING YOUR INTEREST,you fall into the friendzone by default.

This girl is in a relationship with another guy,but you keep hanging around her. I can't believe you still don't get this. If she doesn't have any sort of romantic feelings for you right now,while she's dating this other guy,then she won't when her relationship ends.

You keep thinking logically,and that's what's screwing you up.

You want to "game her" now,but she's already dating someone. So you're thinking,"Well,I can't go full out "DJ" because she has a boyfriend,so I'll just hangout and talk with her from time to time until her relationship ends.
Then once she and her boyfriend break up,I'll be able to date her".


No,you won't.


There's no "pause button" on attraction. You can't put a woman "on hold" until she's available,or until a better time comes along.

A woman will AUTOMATICALLY DEVELOP FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU,if you're repeatedly in her presence. And if all you do is laugh,play,and joke around WITHOUT SHOWING A SEXUAL INTEREST,then the feelings she'll develop towards you will be friendship...BY DEFAULT.

I guess I did **** it up...damn.

Yeah,but not when you think. The "f*** up" didn't happen with the "Go ahead and go to the bathroom" line. It happened like 5 and a half months ago.

You keep talking about how you want to "game her" but you don't seem to understand the rules of the game.

Another thing: The "game" starts the instant you meet a girl you like,not 6 months later.

The way you do things,you're already "out" and you haven't even got up to bat yet.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

Please tell me how I can show sexual interest when she is working at a bank. I can't just leap over the counter and start kinoing. I have asked her out and I have shown her my intentions. I flirt with her constantly when I'm there, I do C&F pretty good with her... but that's about all I can do.

Besides, I'm using this as practice anyways... no harm in trying to improve.