"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Warning Shots Across My Bow?

Pair A Dice

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Recently began dating this woman not too long ago who is two years my elder (27). She has been single for a few years after divorcing at a young age because they "didn't see eye-to-eye about their futures."

Things have progressed between us (sleeping together several times and I stayed over for the first time last weekend) and while I'm not ready to make her my GF at this moment, maybe not any time soon, I need some help reading her words.

1. She told me she "isn't high maintenance materialistically but emotionally..." and that she values communication quite highly.

2. She told me last night about how it's been difficult for her to let go emotionally but today she posted an update on Twitter (we follow each other but I made her work for me following her and such) that was something along the lines of "I'm finally able to let myself go emotionally. Weird I know."

What do my fellow soldiers make of this? Are these warning shots across my bow or what?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Atom Smasher

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Welcome to hell on earth. Enjoy your stay.

She is telling you that she is highly unstable emotionally. Proceed with great caution.
 

5string

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Atom Smasher said:
Welcome to hell on earth. Enjoy your stay.

She is telling you that she is highly unstable emotionally. Proceed with great caution.
This^^^^

Atom, your mailbox is full so nobody can PM you.
 

betheman

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Im going along the same lines as smasher!

she is basically as you say...firing warning shots across your bow, she is telling you she is going in heavy and you had better be prepared, she is ready to move quicker, want more, deeper committment and at her pace so keep up!
your going to have top drip feed her emotional fodder, the odd getsure, card, tiny gift, out of the blue but remain vague about long term plans, make yourself busy so you have genuine reasons for not spending every spare minute with her, that way when she complains you have a reason why you failed to meet her requirements
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Atom Smasher

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5string said:
This^^^^

Atom, your mailbox is full so nobody can PM you.
Oh, thanks, man. The site won't let me in there right now, but I'll revisit later.
 

betterthandead

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Maybe she sees you as something worthy of her time, and for her to open herself emotionally to you, ie being more committed. If you are seeking a committed relationship then you got nothing to worry about.
 

Pair A Dice

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betterthandead said:
Maybe she sees you as something worthy of her time, and for her to open herself emotionally to you, ie being more committed. If you are seeking a committed relationship then you got nothing to worry about.
I had been seeking a committed relationship, but with these warning signals, I am not sure if she's the right one for me. After all, we've only been seeing each other for a little more than a few weeks.
 

Nutz

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betheman said:
Im going along the same lines as smasher!

she is basically as you say...firing warning shots across your bow, she is telling you she is going in heavy and you had better be prepared, she is ready to move quicker, want more, deeper committment and at her pace so keep up!
your going to have top drip feed her emotional fodder, the odd getsure, card, tiny gift, out of the blue but remain vague about long term plans, make yourself busy so you have genuine reasons for not spending every spare minute with her, that way when she complains you have a reason why you failed to meet her requirements
I ran into this myself not long ago. Be prepared to give her the "I feeeeel like we're moving too fast" speech and how you think you need some space to cool off for a while. Up to you if you ever contact her again.
 
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