Warmth vs Aloofness, Challenge vs Energy

[Solarium]

It's hard to maintain the correct level of warmth, but not appearing too eager, or being energetic, without being too little of a challenge. I know it's the play between yin and yang, but how do you know what the correct level for you is?

I just read up on the article of "Faking Warmth" from the DJ bible, and realized that although I've always been a warm/friendly guy, recently I been trying to do this jerk attitude that I need to improve on, and pretty much use C&F everywhere I go instead of genuinely trying to strike a conversation to get to know the person. I get a LOT more responses from girls if I have the warm attitude, but I'm not sure if they are just friendly responses or attraction responses. It's really hard to decide on which one to choose.

 

[JJMcLure]

A cold approach will be helped by showing warmth and high energy (high energy does not mean being a clown). But you've got to adjust your "energy level" to the situation - a club or party will be different to a street approach or in a bookstore.

When you know a chick better or she is in your social circle, you can use more aloofness. It will work when she ALREADY HAS some level of interest in you - e.g. because you are social proofed, famous etc. You can't attract a completely uninterested chick just using aloofness. Essentially, you don't want to go spilling you emotions all over ANY chick or telling her your life story. There has to be some mystery.

Challenge is a concept that needs to be applied from day one until the end (even in a relationship) - as soon as you become a wuss, it's over. You don't want her to think you idolise her or that you will be walked all over.

 

[Solarium]

A cold approach will be helped by showing warmth and high energy (high energy does not mean being a clown). But you've got to adjust your "energy level" to the situation - a club or party will be different to a street approach or in a bookstore.

When you know a chick better or she is in your social circle, you can use more aloofness. It will work when she ALREADY HAS some level of interest in you - e.g. because you are social proofed, famous etc. You can't attract a completely uninterested chick just using aloofness. Essentially, you don't want to go spilling you emotions all over ANY chick or telling her your life story. There has to be some mystery.

Challenge is a concept that needs to be applied from day one until the end (even in a relationship) - as soon as you become a wuss, it's over. You don't want her to think you idolise her or that you will be walked all over.

Nice reply. What you said I've been unconsiously doing, but not knowing it. All it takes it more experience then.